Did I just F up by loaning my friend $11k?

Quickest way to get someone out of your life is to loan them money. Chances are you will never see that 11k again. I hope I'm wrong.....but I've seen how this scenario plays out before. Hope it's not to big of a hit for ya.
 
This is what always happens:

1. Friend only needs money because they are irresponsible.

2. They fully intend to pay you back. It's not like they're planning to steal your money.

3. So they get your money, use it for whatever, and now they're broke again. Why? Because of #1 above.

4. Since they're broke again, it's hard for them to pay you back. They pay you small amounts here and there just to show they're trying. And in their mind they'll totally pay you the full amount when they "come into some money"

5. They eventually struggle so much that they can't even make the small payments anymore. Why? Because #1 above.

6. You start politely asking about the money. They say they're struggling but they they'll pay what they can. You might get a few more small payments out of them but they'll eventually stop paying again.

7. Now you're getting frustrated. You pester them about the money. You argue about all the things they're spending money on instead of paying you back. They say, "fine, Jesus, I'll get your stupid money if it's so important to you."

8. Maybe they make one more small payment then stop. You try to harass them some more but they stop returning your calls. This is the point where their intentions change. Up till now, they still intended to pay you back the full amount. But now they start to think "Man that guy used to be cool but now he's a dick."

9. They decide they don't want to be friends anymore.

10. Since you're not friends anymore then they're not going to pay you back. Why would they? You're a dick now in their minds. You don't deserve their friendship or money. Besides, you're not hurting for money. You obviously are doing well if you can afford to be loaning people 11k. So fuck you. Go swim in your pile of money, Scrooge McDuck. I'm done with you.
Truth. Couldn't have been summed up any better.
 
Dude, If you didn't draw up an agreement stating the loan amount, date given, repayment schedule, and parties involved and have it notarized you screwed up.

I sold a car to a "friend" with agreed upon payment terms and pertinent info. He stopped paying while still owning the car. Luckily, I had paperwork detailing everything which he agreed upon and signed.
 
I feel like you're much more likely to fall out over the fact that you have lent that money, rather than if you hadn't.
 
We dont know enough to make a judgement. There are very legit reasons a friend could be in trouble but is trustworthy paying it back. Health cost, being robbed by gf/ wife (cleaned out Bank accounts) ....etc., divorce proceedings... we just dont know. Trustworthy people also sometimes get dealt a shitty hand were they need help . I have lend money to others several times and it never was a problem getting it back. but with such a huge amount I would set up a contract just to be safe
 
Dude, If you didn't draw up an agreement stating the loan amount, date given, repayment schedule, and parties involved and have it notarized you screwed up.

I sold a car to a "friend" with agreed upon payment terms and pertinent info. He stopped paying while still owning the car. Luckily, I had paperwork detailing everything which he agreed upon and signed.

I have a customer who sold me a car for, what was it? 2000 or 2500. I initially balked at his price because the car needed work, but he said I could make payments, which sounded great. I also work for him and don't charge him so he never worried once about getting paid. I paid it off in about six months or so. Keeping the car running is a bigger headache for both of us, it's broken down about 4 times which is some kind of record for me. I always have to take it to his house because he has a space I can work on it. I imagine he feels a bit guilty for all the times I have to work on it but it's really to be expected under the circumstances. Nothing for me to feel ripped off about. It's a good car , just older and i drive too much doing delivery. Anyway, not everyone can be trusted like that.
 
We dont know enough to make a judgement. There are very legit reasons a friend could be in trouble but is trustworthy paying it back. Health cost, being robbed by gf/ wife (cleaned out Bank accounts) ....etc., divorce proceedings... we just dont know. Trustworthy people also sometimes get dealt a shitty hand were they need help . I have lend money to others several times and it never was a problem getting it back. but with such a huge amount I would set up a contract just to be safe
That's right, and money makes people nasty as hell. Life has all sorts of unpredictable shit that can leave any of us high and dry. Hell, it's happened to people richer than all of us combined.
 
You f'ing up depends on your expectations out of the situation.
 
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