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delivery stories; pizza, milkman, mail

Discussion in 'Mayberry Lounge' started by lakersfan45, Jan 15, 2015.

  1. lakersfan45 That's sardo! No mr, accent on the do!

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    that story about the pizza guy has me interested in hearing from people who were delivery drivers.

    tell your tales.
     
  2. bcordova Brown Belt

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    Nothing interesting really. Delivering pizza, aged 19 I believe. Two very large, explosive and athletic gentlemen come to the door. They pay and get really close to me while I am trying to give them change asking how much money I had on me. I laughed because they were joking but still sorta scared because who knows. I left and then felt like a racist.
     
  3. kuromusha Silver Belt

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    Are milkmen still a thing?
     
  4. Pliny Pete Puts Butts In Seats

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    When I was younger my older cousin was a delivery guy for Dominos
    One day he went out on a delivery and a couple guys that he knew planned on robbing the delivery guy but when they saw it was him they just said "Aw dammit David whats up man, we was gonna rob you but I guess not today"
    And then they all laughed and went about their business
     
  5. MassDistortion R E L A X

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    did the meals on wheels bit in New Orleans with my Dad many years ago. Lots of scary people on the receiving end of those dinners we delievered throughout the city.
     
  6. the can fat guy belt

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    other than the occasional bong rip tip, as a pizza guy, i once picked up 2 really drunk chicks going onto campus to watch a basketball game (i think). i made them sit in the hatch compartment of my honda CRX and one was sitting right in the middle, legs spread wide. being such a small car she also had to hunch over, giving me the perfect rear view mirror boob shot and cooter shot. i was sad to drop those 2 off....
     
  7. weed ベルセルク

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    yes, it's a gay thing now though.
     
  8. The Clamburglar Burglin' is my game.

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    lol
     
  9. Rvd Slmr Silver Belt

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    Well, one day we ordered food with my ex and we were in her badly insulated flat. She was teasing me to get a cat for her at my place (hers was too small to keep a cat comfortable) and she said quite loud "come on, take a kitten and I'll suck your dick". The delivery guy knocked at the same time and he obviously heard everything since he couldn't held his laughter.
     
  10. BEER 1312 Platinum Member

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    Delivering food will make you feel racist at every turn.

    My first delivery job mostly delivered to a pretty affluent area. It was a local pizza place and people tipped really well. Some of our delivery radius was a low-income neighborhood though, and the contrast was ridiculous. I'd take 15 dollars worth of food to a nice neighborhood and get a 10 dollar tip, only to take 30 dollars worth of food and "keep the change" which is never over a dollar. Literally the only tip I'd get would be in change. If the change was more than a dollar, they'd want the cash but leave me the pennies.

    Definitely leaves you feeling racist, but because of the location, I did more than break even. We often did deliveries to the NorVa, always 10-15 pizzas, and always got massively tipped for it. Easily made 150 dollars a day, and some weekend nights [it was in the club district] I would walk away with 300 dollars.

    However contrasting was my brother who worked at a shitty pizza place surrounded by ghetto. He broke his arm and I told him I would work for him to hold his job while he couldn't drive.

    My very first customer had 22 dollars worth of food. He opened the door and smoke poured out like some fucking Cheech and Chong movie scene. After he paid 25 dollars, he was digging through a giant folded wad of cash. I made the mistake of thinking he was looking for smaller bills [seriously looked like it was all 50s and 20s] to tip me a bit more. After 20 seconds of silence, he said "ninja, you gonna give me my change or...?" I gave him 3 dollars back, went back to the store, gave the owner the money and just left.
     
  11. weed ベルセルク

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    ordered from this place once called Matese. I was in the shower & my girl asked the delivery guy to deliver to our door since she wasn't dressed properly. next thing you know I hear my girl scream "WTF DID YOU SAY?" I ran out & the guy threatened her to never order from them again the second she closed the door. he was gone by the time I got out.

    fucking pisses me off thinking about it.
     
  12. LatFlare EADC

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    I used to deliver pizzas in Kings Cross (inner city red light/nightclub district in Sydney for those who don't know) when i was at uni. Some of the stuff that happened:

    - Saw a guy getting a blow job from a hooker in the street, leaning his back against a street lamp.
    - Got bashed and robbed by two junkies while going in the back entrance to the shop (up a dark little alley, cliche i know).
    - There was a brothel next door and I used to take pizzas over to the receptionist sometimes. One of the girls was in there one day and gave me some attitude even though i wasn't talking to her then immediately "Oh i'm so sorry I just get a bit snappy after a 14 hour shift..."
    - Went to a fancy penthouse apartment and this massive guy with a black eye answers, he's real friendly and we're chatting and he tells me to come in. I go inside and put the pizza on the kitchen counter, next to a few stacks of 50 and 100 dollar notes, prob $10k in total. The guy then pays me $60 in $1 coins, which included a pretty decent tip.
    - Going in the back one night I saw three gentlemen of middle eastern appearance getting turned away from the brothel. "couldn't get a root in a brothel" lol
    - Other usual stuff.. people answering the door in various stages of undress, stoned, bong in hand etc etc etc
     
  13. LatFlare EADC

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    What did he say?
     
  14. LatFlare EADC

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    Also, similar to that other story, one night a guy gave me a fifty, which was double the price of his order and then shut the door before i could give him change. I thought "sweet" and left. Got back to the shop and he had called, since he only realised he gave me the wrong note later. I went back to give him his change and he gave me $5.
     
  15. odog A cat trapped in a dog's body

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    I don't understand what happened.
     
  16. Tank_Kam Purple Belt

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    when I wokred at Dominos one of the other drivers was stopped at a red light down the street from our work in chinatown, some hot young chick got in his car with a knife and robbed him and made him drop her off at a club downtown lol
     
  17. badandy519 White Belt

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  18. weed ベルセルク

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    sorry guys, the way I worded it was tricky. the guy supposedly said "never order from us again" & some other shit in a threatening manner to my girl the second she closed the door. when she opened the door again to challenge him he was already gone.

    she said he looked real pissed & unhappy having to come up one flight of stairs to deliver the food to our door, so she tipped him extra & he was still was a dick about it.
     
  19. HenryFlower (sheesh!)

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  20. Luke Rockhard Banned Banned

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    I once received a pizza and a side of chicken wings. I opened the wing box and it was an 1/8th of funky top notch reefer. The delivery driver came back and knocked on my door asking for it back with my wings in hand. Instead I struck a deal and paid 40 bucks for it. The dude to this day is still my hook up and he still delivers pizza.
    Wonder how many delivery drivers have this side business. Said he only delivers pizza for tax reasons.
     

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