Death and Social Media

So my cousin was murdered just this past week and I found out through FB which wasn't really a surprise but since this happened every 30 minutes there have non stop posts from his cousins, aunts, and immediate family posting pictures and blasting stuff like

"How Am I suppose to go on!??!"

"I miss him already!!"

"Hardest thing ever!" - While checking into a mortuary

I don't know why but that last one really irked me. I get that they're depressed but I just don't know why people share this type of shit on social media. Makes me kind of angry and I don't know if I should be angry cause their son/brother/nephew died. Anyone else find this weird?

 

Is this really the time to be pointing fingers?

 

super weird. how dare they project their thoughts and feelings on social media over a death in the family?

 

It's just the way it is now. Things that used to be considered sort of weird doing on a social media platform are the norm. Grieving, death, ending a relationship, quitting your job, getting shitcanned, pissing and moaning about your personal life...it used to be "don't do that shit on social media" and people were in agreement...it only took a few years for the way it used to be done to become out of the norm. I have facebook but i'm not that active...if i do post it's always about sports or something...nothing personal at all. People i know bring that up like it's weird.

I'm curious how many "break ups" happen via social media or text nowadays. Just a few years ago stuff like that was considered a joke. This wasn't ancient times.

 

Stop using FB if you can't stand the shit people put on there.

 

I did feel guilty/felt like an asshole for posting this because they're family friends and I grew up with them but I was just curious if this was normal thing nowadays. I tend to stay away from FB but login'd in the other day and saw what happened.

 

From what little I know, social media seems to be all in or all out type of thing.

Those that are all in tend to speak on everything

 

I completely understand where you are coming from.

There seems to be something devaluing and superficial by posting something personal on facebook. I think by its nature social media is often a attention seeking tool that removes the filter of judgement. Why would you include so many people, who you don't have a close relationship with, in your most intimate affairs? In real life, most would be selective of who they talk to about private issues. On social media, it's like there is this disconnect between what is appropriate or not, and often that inherently makes the topic less important.

HOWEVER, grieving is another category. If they want to share the burden, and if it makes it easier to connect with others who feel the same pain, I think it can actually be a strong tool to help people overcome. And an easier way to let everyone know.

We lost a co-worker some months ago at my job. She was only 28 and died suddenly, leaving behind a little girl. I saw it on FB and everyone came together. Later we did so in real life, which was the most important.

 

We're transforming into a generation of attention-whores.

This is what happens when you give humanity too much liberty and convenience.

Take away running water, make people spend 3 hours a day walking to the lake, and they won't be spending so much time on social media anymore.

Sorry about your cousin, though.

 

I think it's pretty normal. In fact, oftentimes people (sometimes total strangers) come up to me in real life and talk about loved ones that have passed. I guess sometimes it just helps to put it out there and not be concerned that others will judge you as devaluing your loss.

 

In my experience, those who practice such things are usually the ones who never even had a meaningful relationship with the deceased but want to participate in the parade of pity for the sake of presenting themselves as caring or even worse, had a rocky relationship over which they now feel remorseful and look to compensate by expressing their sorrow post mortem.

 

I sort of get what you mean.

When someone dies it becomes almost a competition on Facebook of 'who knew them best' or 'who cared the most'.
It's pretty fucked up really.

 

sounds like you need a breather.

i keep a pretty low profile on fb, just use it mainly for email and to keep tabs on my close friends and family back in the states.

a practice i have found useful is to "mute" the contacts that are spamming the feed like they are on twitter or something, by changing the preferences for notifications, and the "follow" settings.

i know the instance you speak of is not your "everyday" type of situation, but you can temporarily mute them for some quiet time, and then re-add notifications after the dust settles.

 

I think it's a way of dealing with the situation expressing it through social media can make you feel better. Keeping things bottled up is no good sometimes it's good to let it out even if it might be depressing.

 

unfollow them so you don't see their post.

 

i recently unfollowed everyone on FB except family.

Instead of 500 plus updates every time i look on there, i only have 8. less stressfull and less bullshit.

 

A while back I deleted everyone who I didn't communicate on there with at least semi-regularly.
Down to 105 'friends' now.
I just don't see the point in keeping people on there who never post anything and just lurk around looking at everyone elses pages.

 

You ok hon?? Inbox me xxx

 

I can't stand what FB has become. You're right TS, it's people seeking attention, or else they wouldn't say that shit publicly. I'm a fairly private person and I can't believe some of the personal shit people share on there. It's insane. But I tend to see the psychology behind what people say, and it's so transparent it irks me. If you could see what people are thinking, instead of what they're posting, you'd see 500 posts everyday that say "validate me. validate me. validate me."

And to the other extreme, people love posting bs like what they ate for dinner, that they have a headache, that they worked out today, who cares?






I miss Myspace circa 2007

 

I unfollowed everyone like CHL and Blocked some but gave them warning first so not to hurt feelings.

3 things that got people block on FB from me were.

No more than 3 post per day
No Tagging me in pics were I am not in it
No Religious or Political post

So yeah more than half got blocked.But i hardly post status shit on FB(like 1 or 2 a wk) and wouldn't be surprised if people unfollowed me.