Dealing with toxic mentally ill friends

biscuitsbrah

biscuitsbrah

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Well to start this off one of my best friends I’ve known since I was basically born ended up killing himself due to mental illness induced by drugs.

This has caused my other friend who is both an alcoholic and has severe addictions to spiral and become a real asshole. He’s also schizoaffective meaning he’s both schizophrenic and sometimes not in control of his emotions (bipolar).

His drug abuse and mental illness has literally left the dude with an iq < 90 and when it comes to logic and basic decision making sometimes I feel like he’s literally retarded or a child.
I’d hate for him to kill himself too because I’ve known him since I was a kid but the guy fucking pisses me off to no end and I want nothing to do with him. I’m one of his only friends left that he can talk to or hang out with.

I’m a pretty selfish guy with my own goals and life and I just don’t want to see the guy anymore but he’s like a retarded child in a lot of pain and I would feel really guilty if this dude killed himself and I wasn’t there for him.

Would you guys just block him or what cuz he’s seriously not worth the worry and stress anymore. I don’t feel like I deserve to be burdened by this asshole man child. Feel real bad for his mom though

Edit: For those calling me a bad friend or whatever it’s just not true. He’s an idiot but I’ve saved him from getting his ass kicked or ko’d > 4 times in the past couple years. All fights that he started. I could have stepped back and watched him reap what he sowed but I saved his ass. I’ve stayed up all night listening to him cry or talk about his problems. He even tried to fight me a couple times but all I did was hold his drunk ass down and throw elbows to his body and arms. (And a hard crossface) He’s upkicked me and everything yet I didn’t hit him in the face once. I could have ended his life or at least gave him some damage but I just held him down and beat his body till he got tired. When he was in the psyche ward for a month, I was one of two people who visited him. I probably visited him > 5 times while the other guy saw him once. Ive only ever slapped the guy once and it was a knee jerk reaction because i was driving and he yanked my steering wheel all the way to the right and i almost hit the curb and ran into a house. Now that I think about it, that was the most effective ive ever been at settling him down. Hes like an animal that needs the fear of violence to respect you.

You aren’t getting the whole story when I talk shit about him like this
 
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Sadly there is no cure. The only choice is how far you want to allow him to drag you down.

I had the same decision with my sister. I eventually reached my limit and cut all ties with her. The family thinks I'm cold, but then they deal with so much of her shit that it makes their lives incredibly stressful.

Some people just can't be helped.
 
Jack Stevonovich said:
Just don't be a jerk to him.

All I'm hearing from you is putting him down constantly as if I'm suppoced to agree with you to validate you. He might not be "a retarded child" and you might be a major jerk for all I know.
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I’m stating facts. I’m probably the most patient person to him ever. I know it’s hard to believe from a random stranger over the internet but yeah. He’s probably really close to clinically mentally retarded so calling him retarded isn’t an insult. Pretty sure the legal definition is iq < 80
 
You can't help those who are unwilling to change. You also shouldn't try to help those who are denying your help when given. It really doesn't sound like you're his friend anyways.
 
Fedorgasm said:
Sadly there is no cure. The only choice is how far you want to allow him to drag you down.

I had the same decision with my sister. I eventually reached my limit and cut all ties with her. The family thinks I'm cold, but then they deal with so much of her shit that it makes their lives incredibly stressful.

Some people just can't be helped.
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Thanks
 
You can't help others unless they want to help themselves. Been there, done that, seen the dead bodies. It's a tough choice, you kinda draw line on how far you're willing to go to help out a friend, then you make damn sure you don't cross that line or else you get taken down with them. If you have a functional conscience you'll always have this nagging feeling that everything would've worked out if only you'd gone a bit further and given more of yourself to help out, but that ain't the way it goes. There's only so much influence you have, and if the other person is determined to go down his path, well, that's just the way it's gonna be. You can't make your buddy live any more than I can stop my daughter from liking cats.
 
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aerius said:
You can't help others unless they want to help themselves. Been there, done that, seen the dead bodies. It's a tough choice, you kinda draw line on how far you're willing to go to help out a friend, then you make damn sure you don't cross that line or else you get taken down with them. If you have a functional conscience you'll always have this nagging that everything would've worked out if only you'd gone a bit further and given more of yourself to help out, but that ain't the way it goes. There's only so much influence you have, and if the other person is determined to go down his path, well, that's just the way it's gonna be. You can't make your buddy live any more than I can stop my daughter from liking cats.
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Thanks. This made a lot of sense.
 
That's a runabout ways of saying that you're a selfish asshole. If you don't care about the guy then leave him, no need for seeking validations whether it's a right thing to do or not. Fucking own it.
 
Jack Reacheround said:
I’ve said this a lot on here, and I’ll say it again. You have got to cut those people loose. Just be up front and tell them that being around them is not good for you, and wish them good luck, but that they are not to contact you.
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Wow, are you judgmental or do you lack responsibility?
 
Have you perhaps thought about you two taking capoeira classes?


Okay. I had a friend who I knew since I was 13. The guy simply had no real ambition or drive. I tried encouraging to finish his degree but he couldn’t pass Stats so that he could transfer to a University. Dude refused to go to push himself by going to tutoring and continuing to try but he gave up. During in our early 20s, I got him a nice cozy job at a mortgage company where he got paid quite well, but he bitched about the hours and drive and he quit. By the time we got to our late 20s laziness and being quitter wasn’t funny anymore. In fact, it was annoying and I eventually just stopped taking his calls and texts. I’ve got a mutual friend who still sees him and he says “It’s the same shit with him.” Some people you just have to cut loose but you have to accept the responsibilities that come with it.
 
Sakurabaism said:
That's a runabout ways of saying that you're a selfish asshole. If you don't care about the guy then leave him, no need for seeking validations whether it's a right thing to do or not. Fucking own it.
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I’m about to
 
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