Dealing with contradicting, one upper, and needs to be right types of people.

Discussion in 'Mayberry Lounge' started by Estemachine, Sep 3, 2018.

  1. Estemachine

    Estemachine Silver Belt

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    I came back from a wedding in San Diego, it was a beautiful location by the beach, and I got see some old friends, as well as meeting new people, everything was perfect, except for one thing...

    I shared a condo style hotel with one of my former "best friends" and someone else, well this "former best friend" we are going to call him "Edward'. I used to hang out with Edward all the time, and we became really good friends some 10 years ago, so why not carpool with him and share the hotel as well. Sounds good so far? Well it wasn't

    I honestly have forgotten why I stopped hanging out with the guy, but on the drive to San Diego he reminded me quickly as to why.

    I've never met ANYONE with such a huge need to be constantly contradicting anything I say; and don't get me wrong, I'm very open minded, I can hear your side and entertain the idea and discuss it, but when you realize that there's nothing you can talk about without having to hear "well actually, it's not that way because" it gets REALLY ANNOYING quick.

    Unfortunately that wasn't it, for many of the stories I talked about, he had or knew someone who did that very thing, but way better, in a much more spectacular way, shape, or form. And to make matters worst, I would start dropping subjects because honestly I didn't care to debate after the 30th time I got contradicted on an issue, but he wouldn't drop it, he would INSIST on getting his point across.

    The worst part about this is, that he doesn't act that way with other people, in fact, he goes out of his way to make other people like him, he makes them laugh, acts really nicely etc. But with me it's a constant need to be right, and to put down the things I do or say.

    I'm glad to be home, and not having to deal with Edward anymore.

    Anyone ever deal with people like that? What kind of personality disorder is this?
     
  2. A.A. Riggs

    A.A. Riggs try that on Trish

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    Obsessive?

    Oh you meant Edward...
     
  3. Rygu

    Rygu R.I.P. Obie Platinum Member

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    I work with the guy who is the same way. Always having to one up people. Constantly talking about himself but when someone talks about themselves to him he quickly acts disinterested. Definitely some kind of personality disorder but i'm not sure which.
     
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  4. Estemachine

    Estemachine Silver Belt

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    One time I met with his "best friend" to get some weed, it was the first time Edward wasn't present, and the guy told me straight up that him and his mother were talking about how he does that to everyone at the house, disagrees with everyone, but when he gets proven wrong, changes the version of his story to yours. To not look like he was wrong.
     
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  5. OMGstreetfight

    OMGstreetfight Fred Loya Insurance shill

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    I Have a good friend who will argue with you like that. He'll come up with some incredibly wrong theory that everyone thinks is wrong. After an hour of proving him wrong, he ends it with "that's what I'm saying".

    Littleraly everyone loses their shit when he does it.
     
    Last edited: Sep 4, 2018
  6. Estemachine

    Estemachine Silver Belt

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    Yeah he did it to me way too many times, those people are not welcome in my life anymore lol
     
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  7. zapataxiv

    zapataxiv Black Belt

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    what were you trying to discuss with he guy that led to all the contradicting and one-upsmanship?
     
  8. Estemachine

    Estemachine Silver Belt

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    Nothing on particular, just trying to have a normal conversation. Trying to get him off his phone, I can't stand people on their phones.
     
  9. zapataxiv

    zapataxiv Black Belt

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    okay, I am trying to gauge how aggressive of a one-upper he is. Does he take control of conversations and turn them into directions so he can boast or shit on you? or does he try to work in little boasts about himself or his perceived talents into conversations despite them being ridiculous or unrelated?

    Conversely some topics like politics, cryptids/conspiracy theories, Sports, exercising, religion etc.. can lead to some pretty strange shit right off the bat and put people at odds especially if most of the people in your group lean one way and this individual leans to another.
     
  10. MastercraftG

    MastercraftG Double Yellow Card Double Yellow Card

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    Narcissism
     
  11. Estemachine

    Estemachine Silver Belt

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    He does take over conversations at time, and humble brags a little. He does get a little into politics.
    But he also puts me down in different ways, like he needs to give his expert unasked opinion lol
    I'm just like
    {<huh}
     
  12. NewS

    NewS Blue Belt

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    I got annoyed just reading about Edward, fuck him.

    Anyway if he does that to you only, it might be he doesn't respect you and your opinions, he feels superior to you therefore when you express an opinion there must be something wrong with it that he knows.
     
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  13. Estemachine

    Estemachine Silver Belt

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    Very possible,I wonder what that might be.
     
  14. FlippyHambone

    FlippyHambone Girth Matters.

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    44CD95F2-F6F5-4D66-A1BD-D642281D08E9.gif
     
  15. Phlog

    Phlog Dad Belt

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    Just tell him what you've noticed!

    I have been like this with a good friend of mine that I took under my wing, I started treating him like my little brother and pushed him away being a twat.

    It might not take in the moment but it may help him in the long run if he tries not to be an arsehole.
     
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  16. SmilinDesperado

    SmilinDesperado Silver Belt

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    I have a friend kind of similar to Edward. I like the guy and don't want to end the friendship, but Im ready to blow up on the guy.
    When we're 1 on 1, he's cool. But when we're in a group he goes into story mode. He knows everything. He knows someone that's done what you've done. And he thinks he's funny, so he tries to tell stupid jokes to put you down in front of new people we meet.

    Me and my other bro have decided to have an intervention. I can't hang with the dude anymore if he doesn't keep this shit in check. Mostly the trash talking and trying to prove everyone wrong, or that he's an expert at everything. I think he just feels insecure and inadequate around me and this particular other friend..so he goes off on these stories to try and raise himself up
     
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  17. Estemachine

    Estemachine Silver Belt

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    This, something tells me it's some kind of insecurity.
     
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  18. loyalyolayal

    loyalyolayal Steel Belt

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    The downside of working at home is I won't be able to see my former officemate who seems to be an expert on everything. I was the only one in our group who would call him out on his BS as I am, actually an expert in everything.
     
  19. steve38

    steve38 Black Belt

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    Hell, that's nothing. You should hear about my buddy Bob. He's the worst.....
     
  20. Goonerview

    Goonerview Gold Belt

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    Last edited: Sep 4, 2018

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