Dan Harmon's (Rick and Morty/Community Creator) Master Rant on 'Now You See Me 2'

[MacDuffle]

[Rough transcript from Harmontown 201]

http://www.harmontown.com/2016/06/episode-201-black-woman-against-over-here/
(starts at 8:00 mark)


One of the funniest rants on Hollywood sequels this year:

Dan: So there's a new movie out that I haven't seen yet, called 'Now You See Me 2'. It's a sequel to a movie...

Spencer: Called 'Now You See Me'.

Dan: Correct. Well, okay let's go there first then, which is, by the way--your title, the whole point of it--is that it's the first part of a two-part thing. I guarantee you that nobody who wrote that movie, let alone that title, thought they were EVER going to be doing a sequel.

I...could you imagine the guy coming in and going "uh, so apparently there's no 'sarcasm' check-box on Apple TV and your movie's A HIT." So now they want a second one? And there's like nine people because how, how could that movie be written by fewer people -- HAVE YOU SEEN THAT FUCKING MOVIE? I'm not angry, I'm excited...I was walking in Canada (think about it) and I walked by the movie theater, and on the marquee I saw the words "Now You See Me 2" There was the number two...

...And I swear to god, I'm not being David Spade about this, my actual fucking first instinct was "Oh, that explains so much about that movie! It's Canadian! And they show it here, still! Every day, and the next showing is at 2...I swear to Christ above, that is what I thought, because I expected...that a sequel to that movie was that impossible.

Spencer: Yeah, yeah.

Dan: Both in terms of demand, AND SUPPLY!!! THAT MOVIE...YOU...I JUST--I DON'T CARE who wants a sequel, if I made THAT MOVIE, and some people wanted a SEQUEL, I would have some EXPLAINING TO DO!!!!

...The first thing I would explain is, I DIDN'T KNOW WHAT I WAS DOING!!!

And I would say "Look, can we start over, I have all kinds of ideas! THEY TOLD ME MAGICIANS WERE COOL!! I JUST GOT HERE, I'M TALENTED, I...you saw what I did!! Just let me write a DIFFERENT MOVIE!!!!

I don't wanna--I WOULD CALL IT 'NOW YOU DON'T'!!!!!!

IT WOULD BE CALLED 'NOW YOU DOOOON'T'!!!! IN AN HONEST WORLD!!! THIS MOVIE WAS BUILT ON DISHONESTY ABOUT DISHONESTY

...not only are magicians never cool, magicians when they are cool in the -- in the context in which you can trick people into THINKING they're cool, and it's ALWAYS a trick -- to think that they're cool -- they're the fucking-- you go down there, and it's STILL...like, like, I forgot what I was -- it's...watch 'Now You See Me' one.

Which I rewatched last night. Which I think, and I honestly think: "This movie...holy fuck, man. Watch it. I made the mistake of being one of the dollars that apparently funded the sequel, I didn't mean to do that, they need a check-box that says "I'M KIDDING."

"I mean, your money's green, we're going to make a sequel."

Well go ahead, but know that it's a kidding movie. We were KIDDING. When we watched the first one, we were KIDDING.

Spencer: So have you seen the trailer for this 'Now You've Done It' or whatever--

Dan: No, no, but that would be a great title: 'Now You've Done It' -- what if they did a sequel, and the sequel was 'Now You 2 Me..." "Now You See Me 2, Now You Don't" what is it going to be-- they're just like: "Now You Pee."

And that was it. It was like Cloverfield Lane, like they were just like: "It's not a sequel," it's just a fucking...Now You Pee.

It's from the "Now You" series. You don't think we know how to make movies? Fucking step off. Let the people in, they're trying to see a good movie, motherfucker, you fucking jaded piece of shit. Fucking 'Now You' is in session.

"Now You SURF"....against a shark monster.

"Hey did you see the most recent "Now You" movie?" .... "Yeah I fucking love 'Now You See Me 1'".........."Well I love 'Now You Diamond Heist'......Did you see 'Now You Reunion: Wish Upon A Star"? "Yeah it was SWEET. It was SWEET."

Spencer: I loved 'Oh, Now You Didn't'

Dan: Yeah well, there's a lawsuit pending, those people don't actually represent the "Now You" franchise, they're playing the Race Card and it's not cool--

I was telling my girlfriend: "Cody, you're going to be introduced to the five types of Magicians. From the...Criss Angel type played by Jesse Eisenberg, to the....spoon bending....pickpocket.....car-chasing type?"

Played by one of the Francos. Then Woody Harrelson, he's a Mentalist...but Isla Fischer she's introduced, and they're like "And here comes the Lady Magician..." and the writers were like "Fuck, uh....."

"...like David Copperfield? He's a guy. She's a Lady Magician. And she's awesome. Huh. Lady magician, it's just, I-"

"Often times a lady is a magician's assistant."

"Tom!"

"He's right, Isla Fischer should play a new kind of magician, she used to be Zuckerberg's assistant, now she....takes off her clothes. Before dropping into a tank of water. She's like a Super Assistant."

That's not my beef with...It's an insane movie. You should watch this movie. Now You Watch It, Now....Now You Fucking....like have your mind blown. I shouldn't have, I spent too much time talking about it.

I'm sorry, I'm sorry.

 

[monsterxmonster]

The first movie was fucking garbage.

 

[Canuck]

The podcast has fake laughs in the background... Cringeworthy...

Waste of time...

 

[Agent Mulder's Hair]

Now You See

 

[thebluerider]

i laughed at the excerpts posted...reminded me of TGF tbh.

-they need a check-box that says "I'M KIDDING."-

LOL

 

[MacDuffle]

The podcast has fake laughs in the background... Cringeworthy...

Waste of time...

You're the one who's cringeworthy

Each episode is recorded live and the videos are everywhere. And always have been.