Cynical and Depressing Life Stories

[Toastytoy]

PM if you are ever in chicago, we can go out and party. It wont solve your problems but it will be fun!

 

[Mike]

What do you think is so hard about life that you can't cope with it? I understand the thing with your ex wife, but that shit happens all the time. People get divorced, they cheat, etc.

Just give yourself the benefit of the doubt. You can do anything that anyone else can do.

It's more about my fucked up mental state. Yeah my life kind of sucks, but as people have mentioned there are many others that have it much worse. All I really caee about is having people around who care about me, but due to social anxiety, odd upbringing, etc I have no social skills really. Making friends is difficult. Finding a girlfriend is almost impossible. Yet I'm only really happy when I have friends and a significant other around.



About 6 years ago was my Rocky montage. As I mentioned I had fucked up so much I was about to be homeless within weeks. But then I started dating my wife, got a job and started making good money, made friends, etc. Life was still difficult but I was happy. When I lost everything yet again, well I didn't seem to be able to bounce back this time. It probably doesn't help that it tales me years to get my life how I want it, then it falls apart overnight seemingly.

 

[philth]

It's more about my fucked up mental state. Yeah my life kind of sucks, but as people have mentioned there are many others that have it much worse. All I really caee about is having people around who care about me, but due to social anxiety, odd upbringing, etc I have no social skills really. Making friends is difficult. Finding a girlfriend is almost impossible. Yet I'm only really happy when I have friends and a significant other around.



About 6 years ago was my Rocky montage. As I mentioned I had fucked up so much I was about to be homeless within weeks. But then I started dating my wife, got a job and started making good money, made friends, etc. Life was still difficult but I was happy. When I lost everything yet again, well I didn't seem to be able to bounce back this time. It probably doesn't help that it tales me years to get my life how I want it, then it falls apart overnight seemingly.

what exactly prevents you from going on a site like
Meet Up
and finding people who have similar interests as yourself, and going out to do them together? or to find new and interesting groups of people to find new things to get into?

there are countless different clubs you can probably join within your city .. book clubs, sports clubs, chess clubs, arts and crafts clubs, and et cetera. all it takes is some research on your part.

and what about volunteering for ANYTHING? even to pick up trash at your local river or lake or creek. or plant trees. or to help set up local activities. You get OUT of your place and help others while meeting new and cool people to share some smiles with.

You're the only one holding yourself back.

 

[Mike]

Yeah I'm just not that kind of person. I have pretty severe social anxiety, and would never willingly put myself in a situation with a bunch of strangers. Yeah I realize it's counterproductive, basically my entire personality is the opposite of the recipe for success and happiness.

 

[smooth assassin]

Mike, I think you know I respect you and wish you well, like I told you before I think your a good guy. It sucks that there are no magic bullets for you to use to get you out of your deep and painful depression. I want to tell you that you should reach out to God, and ask God to carry you until you can walk on your own, but I feel like it would probably anger you or even make you think Im full of shit and trying to tell you what to believe in. Thats not the case, so Ill tell you what sticks out most to me when i was helpless, weak, and pathetic after my cousin was killed, "you got to be strong."
I dont know how you live your life but I would tell you to not take anything for granted and enjoy the simple things. I understand that you have social anxiety but I hope you find ways to overcome it, not just for yourself, but because it would be a sad that people wouldnt get a chance to encounter a good guy like yourself, a lot of people would miss out.
I hope you turn things around good people deserve to be happy

 

[Matt M]

I dunno I've been through some shit in the past few years but nowhere near the stuff my mum and her parents went through so I don't really like to complain!

 

[philth]

Dude. You're getting legit advice ITT + in other threads (from people who have similar stories) and you're just shooting it all down with excuses and sulking.
It seems to me like you do not actually want to change your situation.

 

[fightingrabbit]

I don't see why you're telling any particular poster to go fuck themselves. As far as I read through this thread, no one has posted anything but constructive feedback. Unless you have some serious mental issue like schizophrenia or something, I'm going to chalk this up to first world problems, bro.

No one of us can help you at this point. You posted this thread I assume to vent. To get some clarity, advice, support, pity. Whatever it is, you got it. Now go and do something with it, and stop bitching about social anxiety or whatever else you're suffering from. Like I said, unless you have serious mental health issues, then at that point maybe you should be on meds.

 

[AgentSmecker]

Go easy on the guy. When you're in a black hole of despair no matter how well meaning and good the advice given to you, it oftentimes just sounds really lame and downright dumb for want of a better word. It's like you have this huge gaping wound and people are telling you to go stick a band-aid on it and expect that shits gonna get better.

This scene in Taxi Driver nails that scenario incredibly well and I've felt this way so many times when I've tried reaching out to people for help only to end up feeling even worse because I feel like nobody fucking gets it. On one hand you've got Wizard, who accepts the cards life has played him, just gets on with it and stays upbeat & positive despite all the shit going on around him and in stark contrast we've got Travis who is totally alienated from society and suffering serious psychological issues. Travis tries to reach out to Wizard and somehow explain what's wrong, how he's feeling, but sadly he doesn't even know how to articulate it himself. Wizard is like "go out, get drunk, get laid, don't worry so much etc" to which Travis replies "that's about the dumbest thing I ever heard".

The point is, like all mental illnesses, depression is an intangible form of suffering and if you've never experienced it yourself it's a very difficult pain to understand and subsequently offer any meaningful advice on. So as I said go easy and try to understand how it is to be trapped in your own mental hell with (what seems like) no escape.

[YT]?v=rDgXeYlpbOE[/YT]

 

[Mike]

Yeah the go fuck yourself was for the couple of people early in the thread that said just get over it and don't feel sorry for yourself. Like that's how depression works, or is at all helpful in any way.


As far as shooting peoples ideas down, I wasn't really trying to do that. I thought I made it clear in this and other threads that I do have pretty severe problems with depression, anxiety and social anxiety.


I appreciate the advice and didn't mean to make it seem like I don't. However I'm probably not going to suddenly just magically have the social skills of a normal person. I never really have.


So the typical advice I get from people of well go out and meet people or go talk to people doesn't really work for me. I get pretty intense anxiety in any social situation where I'm uncomfortable or strangers are involved. That's a large part of why I really have no friends and live like a hermit.


Anyway again I don't mean to sound like a douche or a whiner, I just get severely depressed sometimes and need to vent.


I know it's my life and I have to fix my own problems if they're going to get fixed. Don't really expect anyone to solve them for me. I really did expect to maybe here some similar stories of venting from others since I know my issues are hardly unique, especially on sherdog.

 

[CatchOmega]

I don't know you and I can't say I'm capable of offering the best advice.. but it sounds like you just need to catch a break in life again. Sometimes that's all it takes to turn your life around. Maybe look at travelling for awhile or moving to another city/state/country if it's feasible. Everyday could bring another opportunity, but you'll never find it if you keep doing the same things with the same people in the same city. You need a change.

And stop fixing other people's problems before you fix your own. It's unfortunate, but most people you meet and enage with will not have your best interests in mind. That's especially the case with many of the women that you might think about trying to meet/fuck/marry.

Figure out your own shit first and the rest will fall into place.

Good luck brother. And don't kill yourself. My mother was an alcoholic who may have accidentally on purpose committed suicide. I'll never know the truth of what really happened, and whether it was accidental or on purpose.. but either way, it's fucking shitty to deal with and extremely unfair to the people who love you and are ultimately left to clean up the mess you leave behind.

 

[dissolved]

I'm in my early forties and my life just got turned upside down about a year and a half ago. Just insanity since. Lost nearly everything. Thankfully, never been married or no kids - whether that is a good thing, maybe it makes me a loser to many. Glad I've not done drugs though have drunk some (about to give that up for a long time). But I'm completely starting over it feels like. I still have hope but it's been tough. I still want to dream big but have had so many destroyed or come up short on.

Anyway TS, hang in there. Nothing is so permanent that it can't be reversed. My honest opinion is that you need to feed on positive thinking material. A couple of good ones: The Power of Positive Thinking (Norman Vincent Peale) and Stop Worrying and Start Living (different author) - those are a couple to start.

 

[CatchOmega]

I'm in my early forties and my life just got turned upside down about a year and a half ago. Just insanity since. Lost nearly everything. Thankfully, never been married or no kids - whether that is a good thing, maybe it makes me a loser to many. Glad I've not done drugs though have drunk some (about to give that up for a long time). But I'm completely starting over it feels like. I still have hope but it's been tough. I still want to dream big but have had so many destroyed or come up short on.

Anyway TS, hang in there. Nothing is so permanent that it can't be reversed. My honest opinion is that you need to feed on positive thinking material. A couple of good ones: The Power of Positive Thinking (Norman Vincent Peale) and Stop Worrying and Start Living (different author) - those are a couple to start.

Just out of curiosity, what happened? It's cool if you don't want to say.. but being that most lives are ruined by either divorce, kids, drugs or alcohol - it seems pretty crazy that you just up and lost everything over something else?

Bad investments maybe? Bankruptcy?

Or just tell me to fuck off because it's not my business anyway.

 

[dissolved]

Just out of curiosity, what happened? It's cool if you don't want to say.. but being that most lives are ruined by either divorce, kids, drugs or alcohol - it seems pretty crazy that you just up and lost everything over something else?

Bad investments maybe? Bankruptcy?

Or just tell me to fuck off because it's not my business anyway.

The long and the short of it is I got off on a bad foot with a company I started with in 2009. Mainly with a core group of individuals (just coworkers) and it was really, really subtle. Ultimately everything I did pissed them off - mainly because I did my job very well (all of my metrics were tops). But I didn't play the office politics game. I thought I was in the career-track I'd end up in. Above average salary, advancement potential (I did advance 2x in 6 years as it was), comprehensive benefits etc. But ultimately the office politics won plain and simple. I've never had any issues at the 18 years of prior work and I'm not an asshole or anything. I got along really well with a lot of my workers but this core of 6 or so . . . I must have pissef off the leaders or something. But they ended up turning on me and after 6 years it was irreversible. It went from harassment and bullying to full-blown movie-script conspiracy to the point where I had to leave on stress leave. I had already started blowing my money with addictions and poor investments to compensate for the emotional strain I was under, but the last couple of weeks were the last straw. The company did a big investigation and agreed that wrong-doing had taken place . . . But they stopped "just short" of siding with me to the point of negligence on their part. I ultimately was forced out of my position/job by dirty office politics that I had no clue existed before this job (or at least this extent). I had to consolidate debts and basically have lost everything financially. I'm moving back to live with my aging folks. I even looked extensively into suing the company but several lawyers said that even though I had a legit case it would be difficult to prove and win. Also, just when the company sniffed that I was looking at my legal grounds they went full-dirty and didn't offer me a settlement or anything. I did EVERYTHING in my job well . . . Beyond well. But I made a few missteps early on in the office politics game. That was it and it effed me up and my future with that company . . . I would say my life was effed up but I'm not a quitter and just have start over in a sense. A couple things I won't do in the future: is work outside of a well-regulated/unionized company or outside of business that I own.

Sorry for the run-on paragraph but that's the gist of what happened. I can't tell you how painful/devastating all of this has been. My experience felt like that Jew in Schindlers list that tells the concentration camp guard that the way they're building the structure won't work. The Jew is well-educated engineer and knows this stuff. In return, the guard turns around and shoots the Jew. Anyway, that's how it feels.

 

[Tookie]

A few things i learned in life is to never feel sorry for yourself or feel guilty for anything because that is self imposed slavery. Someone can never get better if you feel sorry for them. Also street drug mess up with you brain chemistry so you need to get off that crap too. Even when my mind is sharp and i have good things going on in my life, i will have spells of depression if i have taken drugs or alcohol. Everything needs to have a certain amount of balance in life, brain chemistry especially.

If you dont have social anxiety then you need a social group to hang out with. Join a hiking club, biking club or climbing club. Those events give you time to look forward to doing things. When you finally start making a social group then only talk about happy things. No one wants to hear about an insecure, depressed dude. When you smile, the whole world smile with you; when you cry you cry alone. No more truth to those words. I.E. I went to visited my older brother fairly recently then all i did was talk about how im a disappointment to our father and how he never visits blah blah blah. My brother didnt want to hear all that crap. I thought what an insensitive asshole my brother was. Then I got to get around reading some books that discussed confidence and when you are confident then you inspire people around you. People become more drawn to you because make others feels like they can face their fears and achieve something too.

So what is confidence? We are not talking about cockiness or bravado. It is that you have a deep understanding of your weakness and strength that no matter what someone says to you, you are sure of yourself and will be to achieve what you can cause you believe in yourself. So how do you get confidence. Recipe is Conviction + Practice + Energy/presentation = Confidence. Conviction is just the blind faith that everything will work out. You seen great leaders just believe in their message so much that it infects the whole room, thats conviction. Practice, if you done something 1000 times then you wont even hesistate when your are faced with it the 1001th time. Althetes shoot free throws, hit baseball, run plays over and over until it becomes automatic. Presentation, the way u dress and look matter too. You dress sharp then will feel good. If some guy dressed up as a bum giving u advice versus a guy in a sharp suit giving you advice, who would u listen to? Doubt me, i ran trials when going to best buy to return my computer in my young 20s, sweatpants vs tie with button up. And energy, if all the ingredients above fit but you lack energy then it will all fall apart. Eat well and exercise. Get off the damn drugs causing damage to your temple, your shrine, your body. If you are posting on sherdog then i assume u are into martial arts or tough guy stuff. Workout, go running. Eat clean. Look good in a t shirt.

A few more life pointers i learned in life. You are a reflection of the 5 closest people you surround yourself with. Financially, socially, happiness. If you are by yourself then good! Do some soul searching but thats why i say join some type of activity group suck as hiking or something. So you can meet some great people and you will become like them. If the closet people you hang out with you are pot smoking emos then you will be one yourself. Next, your beliefs shape you reality. Careful what your brain it telling you. If you are listening to sad music then get rid of it. If you are reading depressing and hatred things then you will become cynical. If you look cor inspirational books and quotes then your beliefs will change and so will your world. I use to have a post-it with 10 things such as what i wanted to change about my self and achieve. I literally read it everyday when i woke up and before i slept. At the time, i thought how can i ever complete these and felt like it was a daunting list. I came across that list a few years later and achieved ever single one.

You need to have a goal in life cause once you have a specific goal then you can map out how to get there. For example, do you ever get into a car without knowing where to go? No! You say im going to chipotle and you know where to turn and each step to get there. Well my friend, set some life goals so you can map out some directions toget there. It is all a state of mind, my friend. I can hit you with all this advice but without a slice of humble pie and you dont take any of this then you will go on the same pathway you going before. Follow some of these tips and then i can at least guarantee you that u will be going somewhere positive. One good goal to set though bro, eventually get off those antidepressants and still be happy. Good luck to you. God bless. I will post some inspirational youtube videos that get me pumped up. I listen to them while i drive.

Also, you need to love yourself before you seek a partner. If you are happy before you met her then technically after you meet her then she should increase your happiness not take away from it. So if she leaves you or she pisses u off and make u unhappy then you will be back to your usual state before you met her, happy.

Ps. When people say they understand your pain then it bullshit. No one can ever understand what you went through, it is unique to you and only you. We all have our demons to face and they each effect us different. But no self pity my friend, because that is the worst thing u can do to youself, it is self imposed slavery.

Lastly, you need to taste the bitter to truly know how the sweet taste. You have tasted the crappiest already, if you can reach the level of happiness one day then it will be the sweetest feeling ever.

Youtube vids: nothing more inspriring than Les Brown with inspirational music

https://youtu.be/WgUBK6R_Ysg
https://youtu.be/Q9Apx8tmdE8

 

[thaifighter541]

So I can't sleep, thought maybe venting some of this would help. You've been warned twice now, so I don't want to hear any comments bitching about wading through all of this. Please feel free to leave your own quasi or complete life story about failure, bitterness, or a Rocky montage of how you turned it all around. Here's a cliffs notes of the last 10 years or so for me:








Take a pill for the migraines, for the anxiety, for the depression, for the nerve pains, for the aches and pains, for the indigestion. They got pills for all kinds of shit now. Where's the pill to make me stop hating myself so fucking much? For making me not feel so ridiculously sad or angry all the time? That will show me how to interact with people like a normal human being again, how to make friends, how to get a girlfriend, how to sleep through an entire night without waking up wanting to kill myself every night. They don't seem to have a good pill for that yet.When I was in my teens I just thought this would magically get better some day, don't ask me why. Guess I'm just not very bright. In my early 20s I thought having a girlfriend would make it better. In my mid 20s I just gave up completely. Spent years fucking up everything I touched and just running full tilt into a brick wall every day. Just tried to stay drunk or high every single second I wasn't at work, until I lost everything I had over and over again.





In my late 20s I woke up one day and realized I lived in a room I had rented off of Craigslist, I had lost my latest shitty job. Had no career. Burned bridges with all of my family and 95% of my friends. I thought I was going to die in that cramped little room, surrounded by all of my shit in boxes. I wish I had. Instead I started dating my ex-wife, and got motivated to do more than just scrape by and do the bare minimum for the first time in about a decade.Got a new shitty job just in time, as I was completely broke and behind on the rent for the first time in my life. A buddy had an uncle with some land that needed manual labor done, I went out there and busted my ass for enough cash under the table to survive until my first check came in.





The new job was work I was completely wrong for, everyone in my life thought I would hold it for a few months tops. I worked hard, harder than I'd ever worked at anything I think. I knew from months of searching if I failed again there were no other jobs, ot even fast food.I got really, really good at my job. Doubled my pay in about a year and a half. Got my girl and I out of our shitty rented rooms, got us a place, a car, stuff etc. Paid off a bunch of her debt, started working on mine. Woke up one day and realized I was actually happy, for probably the first time in my life ever. Didn't really know how to deal with it. Proposed to my girl, spent a year clocking overtime to pay for a wedding and a honeymoon. My ex and I had a cute When Harry Met Sally thing going on when we first met, where we were trying to be friends but just had this incredible chemistry that everyone else saw but us.





Anyway we got married, about a month after my company cut my entire departments pay in half. A couple months after that, my wife left me for someone else. I was so shell shocked I actually tried to get her back. I figured marriage vows are srs bsns and we should at least try to work it out. Yeah I said I'm not so bright. Anyway she made it clear between trips to get her stuff she didn't have any interest in being with me. She saw me more as a friend now, it was totally her and not me, etc bullshit bullshit, but thanks for spending the thousands of dollars on her and whatnot.





So then I drifted around for a couple years again, slowly sinking back into drugs and alcohol, etc. And now, I'm trying to get my shit together again. Seeing a therapist, lots of little pills for all the fun things that are wrong with me and etc. I never really got over any of it. It's been about 3 years now, plenty of time to get over it, but it just isn't nappening. I'm still chuggin along, trying to plan for a future that isn't so fucked up, where maybe I'll have friends again or a girlfriend or some social interaction of some kind. Where I'll feel happy and like my life has some value to it, like it actually matters if I live or die. I've pretty much given up on the idea of ever being in a relationship again, and am just absurdly lonely.






I miss having hope, that shit is just gone. I'm in my mid 30s now and still a fuckup in pretty much every way possible, hoping to one day piece together the bare minimum for a happy existence. The same way I felt when I was 18 and moved out on my own for the first time. I've literally accomplished nothing my entire life, and am a complete waste of human life. Feels good man. Because of the fucked up way I grew up I based my entire life on everyone else around me instead of my own happiness. I'm paying the price now for not knowing how to build a life around myself.To anyone that actually endured all of that, thanks for listening I guess. I've been starting to seriously rethink the idea of suicide lately, everything just feels very bleak. I'm trying to get through it the best I can, but I honestly just don't see the point in living any more, other than not wanting to hurt people by killing myself. Anyway I'm probably not going to kill myself I just don't want to live anymore. I'm just rambling now, so I'm gogoing to try to go back to sleep.

I am going to give you tough love. It is correct in saying life is not fair but with that in mind why on earth would you partake in activities detrimental to success in spite of obstacles.
Success in all areas of life is pretty simple.
Build your eq(public library has lots of material on this, all for free)
Study financial management-read intelligent investor, study warren buffet's lifestyle
Find a goal which provides value To the world and pursue it any way possible, and never give up. If it requires education, Allocate funds for it, if no funds seek out khanacademy or coursera.oRg
Work hard - come into work 3o minutes early, be the last guy to leave. Find and attack any opportunity in that arena to be proactive no matter how trivial.
Be healthy- eat veggies, do 300 pushups and squats daily (no gym membership needed)
Forget any physical/mental obstacles.


As for women and lovelife, success in all those areas mentioned will eventually bring a chick into your life or in worst case scenario you will be set enough to get a hot whore. Bottomline is do not stress the lovelife area.

I am not a motivational speaker but get your shit together.

Ps- reading books by tony robbins,dale carnegie, napleon hill, stephen covey may also be a bit helpfu
.

.

 

[Goonerview]

Your story sounds like mine, except for the marriage part. I've never been married.
The rollercoaster of up down success/failure in life is something I can relate to.

Yeah, I agree. I'm almost 30 now and have had similar shit to the TS and going through something similar of a low right now (I recently failed a project I was working on for the second time despite busting my ass morning, noon and night working on it (long story)).

My advice to the TS in a word is GRATITUDE. Try to be grateful for the things that you DO have and not worry about things that you DON"T have.

You can't change the past and the future hasn't happened yet, you an only affect the now. Be grateful that you have your health, your intelligence, your positive experiences that you have had up to now and even the negative ones that you have learned from.

Seriously, when I see people who have been f**ked up physically, can't walk, can't see, have terminal illnesses etc. You gotta feel some kind of gratitude that you have your health and the ability to turn things around.

Was talking to some Mormons the other day (I'm not religious, but I believe in god), something we talked about made me laugh. Something like "God isn't going to give you a house, a ferrari etc. but he will always provide you with what you need"

 

[Cid]

I'll have a go playing armchair psychologist.

I've never taken meds but I have had depression and have a general anxiety disorder. Your biggest issue is probably your anxiety disorder. The great philosopher and psychologist Joseph James Rogan once said (paraphrasing) "It's crazy how important human interaction is with happiness and proper brain function, in the worst jails where everyones a murderer or a rapist solitary confinement is used as punishment because for some insane reason people would rather be around rapists and murderers than be isolated from people."

While it's not enough to convince me to go out and buy alpha brain or whatever and the psych/philos part I did make up, but still I think he's pretty on the money there. Your inability to overcome your anxiety drastically effects your ability to form friendships/relationships and compounds the more symptomatic/problomatic depression and lack of self worth.

Overcome the anxiety and you'll get friends and relationships and while that's not a cure for the depression it'll help.

You're not a dumb guy, I think you know this and it probably compounds the lack of self worth. There are a lot of fucking dumbasses that are way more successful and happy than you. Have to resent that. Thing is I think you're a pretty good guy and whoever says success is an indication of worth is an asshole. You're not your accomplishments.

So how do you fix this?

Well for starters there's a shit tonne of information on the internet on how to address your anxiety. Free, easy to access. They even have E-therapies for it which actually I never used but are apparently pretty damn effective.

Just understanding how your brain is working will point out the illogical parts of your thinking to you. Once you can understand them you can address them. Often just understanding them is enough to eliminate many of them as just plain stupid.

The greatest weapon against the part of your brain that tells you you're worthless with no social skills is the logical part of your brain that is exposing its flaws and giving you ways to fix your defecits. You say your social skills are lacking? How are they lacking? How do you fix them? You ever noticed dumb people often have great social skills? Can you not figure out this enigma of human interaction and how it works when a bunch of dumbasses can? I'm pretty sure you can get a grasp of it, if not fake it til you make it. Skills don't improve without work.

10 minutes of exercise is enough to get the seratonin going so even a shut in can do that no problem. Don't have to go to the gym, go outside and it can probably be done in less time than you spent in your op. Don't be lazy.

If you fucked over people who didn't deserve it appologize if you haven't. Might feel like crap to eat humble pie but if you can't man up to the shit you've done the self loathing isn't going to go anywhere. Also it allows for the possibility that some of these relationships can be mended. If you can't man up to talk to new people then this is one of your best chances.

Make sure you're at the first fucking intro thing for college if it's no electric learning. Level the playing field. If you let your social anxiety ruin the opportunity to make friends when everyone around you is pretty damn anxious themselves they'll do it then and there and from there you'll have to work a lot harder for lesser results.

Fuck social expectations, fuck money. Do something you think will make you happy. Money isn't the key to happiness. Happiness is the key to money. Do something you love and you will be successful. Will admit this doesn't solve the lack of ambition and the problem many face with direction but it's pretty true.

Get cheap paying/non paying experience in something involved in the field before you grad.

????

Profit.


You know what to do man, there's a part of your brain that wants to kill you and there's a part of your brain that wants to save you. Just work as hard as you can at strengthening and listening to the logical part that wants to see you succeed. Won't be easy but it's something you have to work on every day.

Also make a list of things to accomplish. Even if it's stupid shit it's shit you've accomplished that you can be proud of. Reminder of your success motivates you to continue when you fail and the resent caused by failure is only overcome with progress. You know how to do it, written on the list.

 

[Randy Trevor]

It is never too late. Remember that. I didn't get my shit together until fairly recently. Talking no direction, no personal relationships, drugs all that shit. Got it going now, just don't give up on yourself. That's the key. Believe that your life is worth living, because it is.

 

[Seano]

I think its pretty normal for your dreams to fade once you hit your mid 30s.

I devoted much of my teens and 20's to music, thinking there might be some future in it but like 99.99999999999999999% of people who get into music, I just didn't make it.

I got to a point a few years back where I realized I was pitying most of my friends or not having shit and not growing up.... only to realize I was pretty much just like them. So I looked for a decent job with benefits and stability had a kid, got married and thats the story of Seano. I know I'm not starting over. I know I'm not going to "make it" in the field I had such high hopes for.

It is what it is.