https://sports.theonion.com/conor-mcgregor-credits-excellent-pre-fight-shape-to-rou-1841087214 LAS VEGAS—Explaining how constantly throwing bar stools strengthens several different muscle groups, mixed martial artist Conor McGregor credited his excellent pre-fight shape Saturday to a rigorous workout routine of hurling heavy objects in public spaces. “I’ve never been one for the gym—I need to be out there overturning tables and tossing them across the bar,” said the former welterweight champion, revealing that he trained for his main event bout against Donald “Cowboy” Cerrone by adhering to a strict regimen of ripping parking meters out of the ground and using them to pelt fleeing taxis. “I like to stay loose by getting into a scrum at the pub every week. Throwing hundreds of beer bottles is just good cardio. When I’m ready for strength training, I’ll knock over some mailboxes and chuck them into the park. Lifting cinder blocks above my head to smash in the windshield of my girlfriend’s car is great, too.” At press time, McGregor hurled a scale into an audience of reporters and broke one bystander’s jaw after weighing in two pounds over his ideal weight.