Bullying

[Cash Bill 52]

Thanks everybody. I knew I could count on you.

Today when I meet with the psychologists and the so called experts I hope I can express some of these sentiments.

My colleagues are good people. However, none of them train. I think it's important to get the perspective of people who are genuinely tough and don't normally take crap from others. I want to just tell all of them to spend time on the mat getting their ass kicked.

It kind of takes the fear of bullies away...

Soares said, "The kids essentially need a role model, or coach to look up to. Someone they actualy want to be like. The majority of teachers are fat, ugly, unhappy.. What kid wants to grow up to be that?"

...harsh but true...

 

[sir-elric]

I've told my boy I'll stand by him in the principles office if he's just standing up, but if he picks the fight there will be hell to pay.

thats what my dad said like 20 years ago !and it helped!

as far your questions are concerned
why bully exist ? is a mix of social and behaviour reasons! usually bullies comes from dysfunctional houses and because in that ages humans have not integrate the civilize ways

MA that could help is some wrestling (judo, greek roman) i dnt think striking is good for this ages!

 

[YeahBee]

Yea I agree with code monkey on this. The bullies don't receive enough guidance and discipline. I think they attack the kids who appear timid and shy. If I knew a kid getting bulled at school, I would teach him how to throw a good right cross.

Most of the time bullies will leave a kid alone if he fights back, even if the bully ends up kicking his ass.

not necessarly true, I have seen in many cases that the kids from "stricter" homes tend to take the chance while in school. they have so much bottled up inside that they burts when interacting with a larger number of kids/individuals then in their home setting

 

[YeahBee]

Bullying

For some reason there has been a sudden surge of bullying at my school. (I teach second grade) We are dedicating tomorrow’s staff meeting to address this problem. In my class I have a student who is prone to bullying. In general second graders are kind to one another. Towards the end of the year little devilish horns start to sprout.

My questions are…

1. Why do you think people bully (tease, harass, insult, demean) others?

2. What role do you think educators play in the solution to this problem?

3. How should children deal with bullies?

4. How do martial arts (TMA as well) help the situation?

I think if you know jiu jitsu, judo, boxing, kick boxing, or wrestling you wouldn’t have to worry about bullies. For the most part I don’t think these people bully others either.

As I sit in my meeting tomorrow with people who have never trained on a mat or in a ring I want to be able to express the opinion of someone who trains.

Any suggestions would be appreciated.

...Mods...I am not sure if this is the right spot for this thread, but I do want the perspective of people who train. Thanks.

1
Power

2.
Huge role, to show that it is not acceptable, help find solutions straight away. Kids IMO understand more then people give them credit for, the bullied and the bullies both need help to deal with the problem. just discipline doesn't work, the you are jsut curing the sympthoms not the cause. not mixing to many age groups during breaks is almsot a must if the school is too big

3.
By raising our kids to be secure in themselves alotta of bullying can be snipped i nthe bud. both for the target of the bullying ore friends of the target

4.
Foster self esteem, and if it has gone to far selfdegense

 

[Mohawk79]

Ive dealt with bullies my entire life, and have found reporting them to teachers rarely did any good. I would still get bullied and there generally wasnt much done about the fact they did.

What I found that worked, was whipping their damn ass! Of course the principle always looked at me like I was the trouble maker when the bully walked in with a bloody nose, and ofcourse I would get in trouble for it ultimately but it put a stop to the bullying dead in its tracks.

I have had this same problem, and heard about it many times. My best friend has a 9 year old daughter that is getting bullied at school by an older and bigger male student. They have called the school numerous times, and they have done absolutely nothing about the problem. She's scared of going to school, and she is also scared that if she fights back, she will be the one getting into trouble.

Schools in my opinion, are a big part of the problem. When I was in school I remember teachers and faculty basically doing nothing when they heard about other kids getting bullied. I was bullied myself for a long time, and I never got help from anyone, or saw any disciplinary action taken toward other students that bullied me. I think that kids should feel safe when at school, and not feel like they should have to tolerate bullying, whether it is verbal or physical. I think it is up to the faculty to be swift and thorough with dealing with kids that bully other children, and that strict disciplinary action should be taken against them when they verbally or physically abuse other kids at school.

 

[mmyers]

Bullying happens for many reasons, be it the kids just a dick, or broken home/ doesnt know how to interact with other kids, what ever whatever. The best resolution at a grade 2 level in an educational institution is a peermediation program that allows kids to solve thier problems verbally. Alot of people may say thats for pussys and this and that but at that age and that environment it resolves the situation and sometimes these bullys (after hearing how they are making thier "victims" feel) will learn from the experience. If you would like some information on setting up a peer mediation program I know the woman who trains the peer mediators at the local schools here and can get you some information.

As for martial arts making a play in it, MAYBE the bully gets stood up to or hurt one day but thats no good. I think the way martial arts would play a positive role is if the bully was put into martial arts and taught discipline. Also it wouldnt be a bad thing for kids to be able to defend themselves but parents shouldnt have to make sure thier kids are ninjas before sending them to learn.

*edit* Im at work so I kept that shorter than I would have liked but bottom line is I feel it should be dealt with verbally *edit*

 

[pittfrog]

I was concerned about this with my own son.

I told him to do the following:

1 try to walk away
2 tell the person you don't want to fight
3 look for a grown up
4 keep your hands up if the person keeps coming at you
5 if the person hits you, hit them back

So, my son gets in a fight at kindergarten recess. I hear about it from the school. He tells me about it, he did exactly what I told him--the would be bully hit him anyway, he responded with a punch to the bully's face.

The bully was a girl. I had to choke back laughter as he was telling me this. He got in a little trouble at school, and my wife was pissed.

There have been no more incidents of bullying with my son. I know it's not the most enlightened, or "PC" way to handle this, but IMO he did the right thing, and is now off the easy target list for a while.

 

[mmyers]

Also wanted to add, it would be great if elementarys had a guest instructor visit the school to do some sort of martial arts seminar, as most martial arts rely strongly on discipline. This would allow the kids to learn discipline and as well as how to defend themselves. And maybe by positive reinforcement these bullies would learn to control themselves and be better people through the arts.

 

[dcfella]

Bullying

For some reason there has been a sudden surge of bullying at my school. (I teach second grade) We are dedicating tomorrow

 

[kiridoku]

Your the teacher.

It is up to you and your peers to enforce discipline and make it clear physical and mental abuse is not accepted.

Failing this those who are guilty bullying should be given a warning to stop. If they cannot control their impulses they should be asked to leave the school and the situation explained to their parents. Teachers are helpless against problem students because of the legal system which typifies the U.S.

Spelling aside... right on.
The punks who prey on the weak, timid & "different" need to find out quickly that there's a bigger, badder, more pissed off lion on the plain-- you.

It's a big topic & I shouldn't oversimplify but here goes... how do Virginia Tech things happen? Because (many times) teachers don't address the a-holes (who were likely brought up by a-holes) who trip, ridicule, badger, push around, abuse & taunt the 'dorks' et al
That VT gunman was 100% to blame for being a murderer. So were the Trenchcoat Mafia kids in CO. Apparantly the common thread in a lot of these incidents is that the murderers were victims of bullying. Most people are given some grief growing up. Who knows why some "get over it" and some don't. Who knows why some get a reprieve/are eventually left alone and some continue to be tortured day in and day out.
Again- hyooooge subject... I'll stop there.

You must be a good dude to be so concerned about what you see happening. Do your best, man. More teachers like you are needed.

 

[BJJ-guy]

basically the kds who bully aren't given either enough direction or discipline and the parents just let them run riot. The reason martial arts classes "work" is because instead of being at home getting away with anything, they get discipline in the gym.

If you learn disicpline and self-control, you are less likely to be bullied or to bully others. Also bullies tend to pick on kids who are self-conscious and lack in confidence, martial arts training gives you confidence, so you are less likely to get picked on and also less likely to have to use your training

That about sums up my thoughts/opinions.

 

[Calogero831]

teach them capoeria. it worked in the movies

 

[Commissar]

The psychological buildup of a bully is rather simple. A bully is a person who understands the need of stability in his life and the need for his own importance, but whose family is too busy elsewhere to ensure that he feels it. They might be working two jobs, or both parents are working. You get the picture.

The bully focuses his attention on people with a lack of confidence to let out their aggressions and to obtain the feeling of stability that they need. Very rarely will a bully resort to violence if the victim immediately shows confidence and stands up to him, but this doesn't always happen. The bully himself has weak confidence, which only builds as he dominates the victim.

Any martial arts are useful for the victim, in that they all reinforce one's confidence. Even something like Kung-Fu, which is useless in a fight, is effective due to the unlikelyhood of bullying turning into a violent situation.

If a bullying situation does turn violent, however, you have to do more than just punish the bully. When there's a sign of bullying, it's more than just bullying. You also have a broken family and two people who severely lack confidence. Those are the root problems that have to be fixed before attempting to solve the bullying problem.

 

[Zankou]

I was playing "Bully - Scholarship Edition" for Wii last night, and it is awesome. Check it out.

You actually go to wrestling practice in the game, and learn how to hit takedowns and go to GNP. Valuable bully skill.

 

[Commissar]

I was playing "Bully - Scholarship Edition" for Wii last night, and it is awesome. Check it out.

You actually go to wrestling practice in the game, and learn how to hit takedowns and go to GNP. Valuable bully skill.

What? There's a bullying videogame? Is there a 'school shooting' option?

 

[YeahBee]

I was concerned about this with my own son.

I told him to do the following:

1 try to walk away
2 tell the person you don't want to fight
3 look for a grown up
4 keep your hands up if the person keeps coming at you
5 if the person hits you, hit them back



There have been no more incidents of bullying with my son. I know it's not the most enlightened, or "PC" way to handle this, but IMO he did the right thing, and is now off the easy target list for a while.

Who can have a problem with these rules?

You are spot on with easy target remark to

And btw girls bullying can often be worse then boys, sticks and stones may break my bones but words CAN hurt, or the lack of words in many cases to,

 

[Cash Bill 52]

Bumping this thread...

My original post has been lost. Somehow bullying still exists years later. Go figure.

Question: does martial arts training reduce bullying?

I would think so. Hopefully the head of your team, or the monsters on your mats daily aren’t bullying the beginners, the elderly, kids, or disabled.
Do we have any more data? Do the kids at your academy have bullying problems? Does self discipline teach compassion for others? Are positive role models still the answer?

 

[j123]

Bumping this thread...

My original post has been lost. Somehow bullying still exists years later. Go figure.

Question: does martial arts training reduce bullying?

I would think so. Hopefully the head of your team, or the monsters on your mats daily aren’t bullying the beginners, the elderly, kids, or disabled.
Do we have any more data? Do the kids at your academy have bullying problems? Does self discipline teach compassion for others? Are positive role models still the answer?

Sort of. Really it depends on the person

People who have too much anger, rage, etc. and nothing to do, use a good team to channel it.

Then you have the idiots who end up being gym warriors due to their insecurities and ego.

Then you get something like TMT who influence their fighters character-wise, and they end up like pricks as well.

 

[EGDM]

Question: does martial arts training reduce bullying?

I have to imagine it does. I was bullied significantly in junior high and high school, which was a driving factor fpr my starting martial arts in college. Training has changed my physical and mental confidence to the point where people who knew me then don't recognize me at reunions even though I've barely aged in 20 years. I have to imagine that if I could rewind time with these attributes I'd make a much less appealing target independent of my technical ability to defend myself.

Obviously, in a broader sense training is just a tool. Shitty people will also develop a higher capacity for violence and then misuse it. Hand-to-hand training is a pretty low-leverage way to secure your position as a bully, though, so I'm sure the net effect must be positive.

Are positive role models still the answer?

Absolutely. Watching my kids and their friends, it is abundantly clear that only proscribing undesirable behavior without otherwise providing positive examples does not create functional, robust adults.

 

[Was at Pride GP 2000]

Bullying does exist in schools. My kids go to a small school and it exists. I do notice that the 2 bullies in my kids class last year were a year older then the rest of the kids. Parents believe their kids will have an athletic advantage later in life because of this but really you mess the minds up by not letting them grow up with kids their same age.

One of the kids had an older sibling that was a bully too. I'm sure he bullies his little brother and the little brother just repeats it. The other ones dad was a bully. Same thing. The kid does what the dad does.
The bully with the dad bully used to pat kids on the head. He was always trying to make people feel small. He did it to my son one day in front of me and his dad. So I patted the dad on his head. I said. I bet that doesn't feel good does it. I'm about 6 inches taller than him. He kind of looked at me. Before he said anything in said. Tell you son how it feels and make sure he doesn't do it to my son again.
Unfortunately bullying is learned from being bullied . It's hard to stop because if you are bullied you want to rage out. So you find your victim. It's a vicious cycle.
I believe a good martial arts school and a good teacher can help prevent this. It's too bad it is not mandatory at all schools. It's too bad teachers don't get paid well enough or trained well enough to recognize bullying and stop it as soon as it happens.