brutally honest personal ads

that guy has a very punch able face

Well the top 2 messages make him seem like a decent lad.

Then you read the bottom 2 messages and he obliterates his goodwill...sounding like a douche.

Nexxxxxxt...if i'm the girl looking at this.
 
I am a good looking 27 yr old who, drinks alot. I mean ALOT alot, not the violent type of alcoholic, more the conversational type. I should go to detox, I will someday. I may make you worry about my health, I will. And if you need something to munch, someone to talk to or someone to help you get to work, I will

Stands 5"11, doesent lift and drinks alot.also a native american, geronimo style.

If I didnt mention it before, im a drunk.

This would be mine. Except change the age to 32 and the height to 5'8".
 
I'm not a bad looking guy unless I shave my beard off but if I were to post a brutally honest as for myself.... Ain't a chance in hell one single girl would ever respond.
 
29 year old male, 5'10" 145 lbs, bordering a weird line between scrawny and wirey. trained in mma and boxing, but will under no circumstances defend you honor in a bar. has a career that he loves but in an industry that doesn't pay well. (plus side: liberal views on feminist rights and gender roles on dating) loves the idea of hiking, camping, biking, sunset picnics, weekend get aways, and romantic dinners for 2, but will probably be too tired from working, drinking, and training to actually do any of these things.
 
Very good looking successful 28 year old man. My typical work day starts at 6 am and end at 10 pm so that does not leave a lot of together time, which is alright because I'm not particularly interested in what you have to say anyhow. I will however visit you either weekly or bi weekly depending on my level of attraction to you.

I do not text message, and will probably call you every other day if we wind up in a serious relationship at which point I will tell you how all of my employees are lazy and stupid, and that everyone around me is basically worthless.

One of my strong points is that I am very good at achieving my lofty goals. This leaves me fulfilled for all of 10 minutes until I realize that in the grand scheme of things my goals are useless because there are people more successful than me, I will then become depressed and set a new goal which I will perseverate over until I reach it, and then realize it is not enough. Lather rinse repeat LOL. All the while this is going on I will be neglecting your feelings in favor of my own, and dismissing your dreams as foolish.

One of my weak points is that I am incredibly self centered and narcissistic, a plus of this will be that I am incredibly charming toward your friends and family, this way when you complain about my neglect and dismissive nature they will not believe you, this way I will never look bad to your peers. Lucky you
 
Old single man (legally married, single in spirit) looking for aggressive nymphomaniac with a high heel fetish. Age isn't important so long as you're old enough to drink (or discreet enough not to tell). Looks are important but I have low standards that disappear when I (regularly) drink. In exchange for you servicing me (and whoever else I decide) whenever and wherever I please, I promise to let you talk about you and your feelings for as long as you like (provided you don't insist on me paying attention or remembering details). Due to my roommate status I'll need you to host. But don't worry I'll bring some take out, weed and booze (enough for us and an attractive friend or two of yours who like to party).
 
I am fairly certain that is a lesbian barista.



In & out in a jiffy.

"Expeditious Lover" was Atlantic Star's worst sequel song. It just did not have that it factor.

I thought it was an out of shape Todd Duffee.
 
Old single man (legally married, single in spirit) looking for aggressive nymphomaniac with a high heel fetish. Age isn't important so long as you're old enough to drink (or discreet enough not to tell). Looks are important but I have low standards that disappear when I (regularly) drink. In exchange for you servicing me (and whoever else I decide) whenever and wherever I please, I promise to let you talk about you and your feelings for as long as you like (provided you don't insist on me paying attention or remembering details). Due to my roommate status I'll need you to host. But don't worry I'll bring some take out, weed and booze (enough for us and an attractive friend or two of yours who like to party).

Ok I'm interested. Do I PM you or how do I go about this?
 
My names Scrody and I like to party.
 
I know how to cook. I will pay your rent, but not buy you flowers. Take it or leave it.
 
Need green card now! I don't look for superficial things like looks, career, money. Just looking for true citizenship.
 
seeking woman who enjoys short sex sessions followed by cooking and cleaning without assistance. likes to do laundry alone and pays all bills without expecting anything in return.

applications can be left at city union mission for "James" most evenings after 830pm.
 
Recumbent sloth seeking sparkplug.

28 year old renaissance man seeking Co-dependency partner. After 28 years of disinterestedly pursuing various different and unrelated jobs and experiences I have gradually developed a slight competence and knowledge of a vast array of skills and occupations. This has left me almost entirely useless in any economic capacity, yet experienced enough in a wide enough range of pursuits as to have rendered an acute fear of the outside world and an honest appreciation of my desperately low capabilities, generally.

This disappointment and low self esteem as a result of such honest self-insight is balanced with a latent, defensive superiority complex. After being awarded, decades ago and when I was only a child, modest positive feedback on my ability to draw, I have hoarded this singular experience of praise as an.experiential gem which I've jealously guarded my entire life. Regularly I leverage this remembered instance of slight support into an inflated self image upon which I base a shockingly elitist view of myself in the world as a rarified and sensitive artist - a position I've created for myself in which I'm free to think down on anyone else by virtue of a flexible, nebulous standard of morality and aesthetics which I subjectively apply, embittered, to the entire world around me.

Not to worry; however, as this tendency towards self aggrandizement is founded upon hopelessly shaky grounds. And with saddening consistency I can be humbled and easily reminded of my glaring faults and total uselessness. When this happens I am reduced to a bitter, petulant child and I need a partner who will rebuild my shattered identity through carefully arranging things in my world so as to make me feel in control. This must be done without me knowing and is probably best done by easily adapting your life to my immediate whims and interests and by offering me only supportive, positive comments when I allow you to talk.

Must like cats and hate dogs.
 
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