brutally honest personal ads

Come over and grab a beer while I got plastered on whiskey and show you the pictures and gifs in the "you laugh you lose thread", while watching one of the Rambo or Diehard movies.
 
bootsy said:
I tried PoF some years ago and had "Now completely disease free" as my banner. Didn't get a single hit...
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My brother went on POF and went through a bunch of girls profiles proof reading their shit and sending them all the typos and grammatical errors.

It was pretty funny.
 
PolishHeadlock said:
My brother went on POF and went through a bunch of girls profiles proof reading their shit and sending them all the typos and grammatical errors.

It was pretty funny.
Click to expand...

I do this, I just don't send them messages. Give your brother a high five for me.
 
"I'm a blue belt on Sherdog and a high ranking member of the No-Fap Brotherhood therein. This shows that I have consistency and don't degrade women. But you will need to pay for dinner, cos I get paid next to nothing."

*submits to dating sites*

Will be beating them off with a stick.

PolishHeadlock said:
My brother went on POF and went through a bunch of girls profiles proof reading their shit and sending them all the typos and grammatical errors.

It was pretty funny.
Click to expand...

It's pretty bad when people don't even put that much effort into this kinda thing. I hope they listened and corrected their errors.

I used to do the same thing to my teachers whenever they made a mistake on their PowerPoint, which was at least twice per lesson.

Oh, I can add "Grammar Nazi" to my list of qualities, babes love guys who pay attention to details, right?

Right?
 
"Young guy so i'll be there for you for longer than other guys. Have amassed quite a collection of tools and know how to use most of them. Have a job, and a car so i'm not a mooch. No kids, but have a fully functioning set of male genitalia so if you want kids i can help out there. Not missing any fingers/toes/organs and have a pulse."

Something like that, I'm quite the stud
 
seatea said:
Are you sure? Hell, was even your brother sure?
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Yeah def a chick. But she was kind of weird. They could only fuck in the dark and she only liked anal and oral.

She would also squirt lotion on him when they were finishing up too.
 
"i will fuck you and your whole family is order of breast cup size" - me
 
PolishHeadlock said:
Yeah def a chick. But she was kind of weird. They could only fuck in the dark and she only liked anal and oral.

She would also squirt lotion on him when they were finishing up too.
Click to expand...

my spider sense is tingling.
 
WalkenWouldOwn said:
Awesome.

My friend would write similar things on FB... he joined the Navy last year and is doing well now, but before he did that he was a 28 year old with no degree working part time at an "adult bookstore" living with his mother and the self deprecating posts produced as a result were pretty hilarious.
Click to expand...

That actually does sound pretty funny.
 
LOL i'd only share my own with other plats. It's too dangerous out here.
 
"Looking for love or a near approximation. My hopes and dreams are long gone, erased by the daily grind, making me unlikely to interfere with your own aspirations. Enjoy days filled with sitting in a dark room in front of two screens and thus unlikely to arouse jealousy in even the most vigilant.

Can entertain with a wealth of stories beginning with 'This one thread, on Sherdog...'"
 
''Young white guy with some minor mental issues.
Fat girls and smokers gross me out, so don't even try. Feet also do, though I won't force you to cut them off. I like martial arts, fucking and gambling. You better do too.
Oh, and learn how to break fall, because I like to random take people down.''
 
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