Bruce

[Parmenides]

Jack was talking about your roaming times in the maternal forums. Tell us some coathanger abortion stories if they're within the confines of sherdog rules.

 

[Bruce Lovely]

AHHHHHH HAHAHAHA!!!!!!

Let me collect myself.......

 

[Bruce Lovely]

First off, the whole MSN chatroom shit is so pussified that I can't begin to tell you how easy it is to rattle them.

To this day, if I simply log in my ass is chucked from just about every chatroom I walk into and say "hi" in.

But then one day I found these rooms built by mothers.....for mothers........

 

[animal mother]

do tell

 

[Bruce Lovely]

Alright then.....

The first time I walked into some sort of miscarriage support group or something and I thought for sure I was going to be punted before I could get out a single "Hello!"......but I wasn't I was greeted with such warmth and such lovingness. I had people private messaging me saying "With a name like 'CoatHangerAbortion' you must have a terribly tragic story to tell. Please, share it with me".

So let the fabrication begin!

I talked about being raped anally, vaginally, orally and said that one guy tried to stick it up my nose. Yes, they bought into all of it..........

 

[animal mother]

Originally posted by Bruce Lovely
and said that one guy tried to stick it up my nose.

tremendous

 

[Bruce Lovely]

I heard about all of their stories, and they held me in high esteem for being so heroic and surviving through such terrible hardships. I was their chatroom hero.

Days later, one of them caught a glimpse of my profile (took them fucking long enough) and they all turned on me with threats of telling the police, calling lawyers, tracking me down etc. etc...

I'll copy and paste the profile next post because I can't link it.....

 

[SEXY BEAST]

In your nose did that hurt? I'm so sorry Bruce............

 

[Parmenides]

HAHAHAHA dick up your nose..I imagine all those classic threads were deleted. Or was it a simple chatroom with no historic traceability?

 

[Bruce Lovely]

Lack of cuss words due to MSN's block......


Real Name: CoatHangerAbortion
Age: 119
Gender: Female
Marital Status: Single and looking
Location: Boogadidoo, Kabul, Afghanistan
Occupation: Suffocate myself for money

A Little About Me
I'm a mild-mannered gentleman. I have three nips. The scabs on my penis prevent me from having butthole intercourse. I once killed an eskimo to see if his flesh tasted like Klondike bars. Instead of two testicles, I have one all-purpose nut.


Favorite Things
nasal intercourse, animals' privates, yelling at and beating old people, fetus eating, after birth drinking, and Darwin's theories on evolution

Hobbies and Interests
flossing my teeth with used tampon strings, pounding Hamburger Helper up my asshole, squating on fire hydrants, mopping floors with my graphite beard, and reading the Wallstreet Journal

Favorite Quote
"Sure I'd like a Hot Carl; who the hell wouldn't?"

 

[Bruce Lovely]

Just a chatroom, no history unfortunately. I can't remember half of the shit that was said on there.

And FTYD, notice the eskimo killing reference.

 

[Bug Eyed Earl]

I KILL ESKIMOS TO SEE IF THEY TASTE LIKE KLONDIKE BARS!

 

[animal mother]

Originally posted by Bruce Lovely


Occupation: Suffocate myself for money
butthole intercourse.
nasal intercourse
pounding Hamburger Helper up my asshole,

my personal favorites

 

[Bruce Lovely]

Fuck...I finish tomorrow guys, I apologize but I'm on the East Coast and I have many houses yet to toilet paper tonight.

Wow......maybe I'll start toilet papering houses, taking picture, posting them here, and having you guys judge my work.

Cheap laughs, yes. But hell if it wouldn't be some of the most fun EVAR!!!!!!!

 

[Parmenides]

Boogadidoo afghanistan HAHAHAHA how long did those stupid cunts need to figure out you were a parody?

Yeah, I remember the eskimo phrase from the billy thread. Three nips and tamponish teeth flossing are also familiar. You should've saved those chat convos man. That shit was classic.

 

[sverre]

bruce: i laughed so hard while reading this thread... i don't think i've ever laughed this hard...
you are a genius, and if you want, i could hire a man to assfuck you for the next.. 2-3 years?

 

[ig0r1eye]

- Missing Chromosomes since 1948

i have heard you say many off the wall statements in the past, but this one really makes me believe it.

 

[curtis]

Mothers are so polar...open arms one minute, a butcher knife from the kitchen the next.

That is a classic profile. Goddamn.