Bruce

Discussion in 'Archives' started by FightTilYouDie, Jan 21, 2003.

  1. FightTilYouDie

    FightTilYouDie Old Skool Superstar

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    Jack was talking about your roaming times in the maternal forums. Tell us some coathanger abortion stories if they're within the confines of sherdog rules.
     
  2. Bruce Lovely

    Bruce Lovely Guest

    AHHHHHH HAHAHAHA!!!!!!

    Let me collect myself.......
     
  3. Bruce Lovely

    Bruce Lovely Guest

    First off, the whole MSN chatroom shit is so pussified that I can't begin to tell you how easy it is to rattle them.

    To this day, if I simply log in my ass is chucked from just about every chatroom I walk into and say "hi" in.

    But then one day I found these rooms built by mothers.....for mothers........
     
  4. Bruce Lovely

    Bruce Lovely Guest

    Alright then.....

    The first time I walked into some sort of miscarriage support group or something and I thought for sure I was going to be punted before I could get out a single "Hello!"......but I wasn't I was greeted with such warmth and such lovingness. I had people private messaging me saying "With a name like 'CoatHangerAbortion' you must have a terribly tragic story to tell. Please, share it with me".

    So let the fabrication begin!

    I talked about being raped anally, vaginally, orally and said that one guy tried to stick it up my nose. Yes, they bought into all of it..........
     
  5. tremendous
     
  6. Bruce Lovely

    Bruce Lovely Guest

    I heard about all of their stories, and they held me in high esteem for being so heroic and surviving through such terrible hardships. I was their chatroom hero.

    Days later, one of them caught a glimpse of my profile (took them fucking long enough) and they all turned on me with threats of telling the police, calling lawyers, tracking me down etc. etc...

    I'll copy and paste the profile next post because I can't link it.....
     
  7. SEXY BEAST

    SEXY BEAST Guest

    In your nose did that hurt? I'm so sorry Bruce............
     
  8. FightTilYouDie

    FightTilYouDie Old Skool Superstar

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    HAHAHAHA dick up your nose..I imagine all those classic threads were deleted. Or was it a simple chatroom with no historic traceability?
     
  9. Bruce Lovely

    Bruce Lovely Guest

    Lack of cuss words due to MSN's block......


    Real Name: CoatHangerAbortion
    Age: 119
    Gender: Female
    Marital Status: Single and looking
    Location: Boogadidoo, Kabul, Afghanistan
    Occupation: Suffocate myself for money

    A Little About Me
    I'm a mild-mannered gentleman. I have three nips. The scabs on my penis prevent me from having butthole intercourse. I once killed an eskimo to see if his flesh tasted like Klondike bars. Instead of two testicles, I have one all-purpose nut.


    Favorite Things
    nasal intercourse, animals' privates, yelling at and beating old people, fetus eating, after birth drinking, and Darwin's theories on evolution

    Hobbies and Interests
    flossing my teeth with used tampon strings, pounding Hamburger Helper up my asshole, squating on fire hydrants, mopping floors with my graphite beard, and reading the Wallstreet Journal

    Favorite Quote
    "Sure I'd like a Hot Carl; who the hell wouldn't?"
     
  10. Bruce Lovely

    Bruce Lovely Guest

    Just a chatroom, no history unfortunately. I can't remember half of the shit that was said on there.

    And FTYD, notice the eskimo killing reference.
     
  11. Bug Eyed Earl

    Bug Eyed Earl Duncan Rocks

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    I KILL ESKIMOS TO SEE IF THEY TASTE LIKE KLONDIKE BARS!
     
  12. my personal favorites
     
  13. Bruce Lovely

    Bruce Lovely Guest

    Fuck...I finish tomorrow guys, I apologize but I'm on the East Coast and I have many houses yet to toilet paper tonight.

    Wow......maybe I'll start toilet papering houses, taking picture, posting them here, and having you guys judge my work.

    Cheap laughs, yes. But hell if it wouldn't be some of the most fun EVAR!!!!!!!
     
  14. FightTilYouDie

    FightTilYouDie Old Skool Superstar

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    Boogadidoo afghanistan HAHAHAHA how long did those stupid cunts need to figure out you were a parody?

    Yeah, I remember the eskimo phrase from the billy thread. Three nips and tamponish teeth flossing are also familiar. You should've saved those chat convos man. That shit was classic.
     
  15. sverre

    sverre Purple Belt

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    Location:
    Oslo, Norway - The Land Of Thousand Island ;)
    bruce: i laughed so hard while reading this thread... i don't think i've ever laughed this hard...
    you are a genius, and if you want, i could hire a man to assfuck you for the next.. 2-3 years?
     
  16. ig0r1eye

    ig0r1eye Guest

    i have heard you say many off the wall statements in the past, but this one really makes me believe it.
     
  17. curtis

    curtis deviant

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    Mothers are so polar...open arms one minute, a butcher knife from the kitchen the next.

    That is a classic profile. Goddamn.
     

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