Bootstrap Paradox (My new solo project)

The Diplomat said:
Thanks! I've decided to try to start singing, some new songs uploaded in the OP.
Click to expand...
Hey man, I wonder if you would give me your honest assessment of this,



Our Song

I sang too loud and you never shout.
I stopped listening and drowned you out.
I carried the tune 'til it grew too dear,
set it down and it stilled the air.
Castaway in a soundless sea
I could not hear what you said to me.

The rush filled my ears, stoked my fears
with long crazy nights and occasional fights.
I was too far gone to get back home,
too far away for far too long.
Castaway in a soundless sea
I could not hear what you said to me.

Time and tide has carried me back,
returned at last to share the track.
But I'm too late--your song is done,
so now I sing this song for one.
Castaway in a soundless sea
I long to hear what you said to me.


Given that it's pretty fresh and probably needs a bit more work, feel free to be as critical as you see fit. I like constructive feedback even if it's something I don't agree with.
 
Andy Capp said:
Hey man, I wonder if you would give me your honest assessment of this,



Our Song

I sang too loud and you never shout.
I stopped listening and drowned you out.
I carried the tune 'til it grew too dear,
set it down and it stilled the air.
Castaway in a soundless sea
I could not hear what you said to me.

The rush filled my ears, stoked my fears
with long crazy nights and occasional fights.
I was too far gone to get back home,
too far away for far too long.
Castaway in a soundless sea
I could not hear what you said to me.

Time and tide has carried me back,
returned at last to share the track.
But I'm too late--your song is done,
so now I sing this song for one.
Castaway in a soundless sea
I long to hear what you said to me.


Given that it's pretty fresh and probably needs a bit more work, feel free to be as critical as you see fit. I like constructive feedback even if it's something I don't agree with.
Click to expand...
I like it alot. Nice flow with the rhymes, metaphorical, etc. Curious how the melody goes.

Here's the latest one I've uploaded

 
The Diplomat said:
I like it alot. Nice flow with the rhymes, metaphorical, etc. Curious how the melody goes.

Here's the latest one I've uploaded

Click to expand...

Thanks. Now, a lot like "not bad for an amateur hack" or a lot like "that's actually good and not at all amateurish"?

Not to put you one the spot, but I think I hit on something. At the same time, I don't want to get over-zealous over something that's "pretty good for someone who isn't a real artist".
 
Andy Capp said:
Thanks. Now, a lot like "not bad for an amateur hack" or a lot like "that's actually good and not at all amateurish"?

Not to put you one the spot, but I think I hit on something. At the same time, I don't want to get over-zealous over something that's "pretty good for someone who isn't a real artist".
Click to expand...
It's good lol. Like I said, I'm not sure how the melody goes, so right now it's poetry. I like the words and imagery. Do you play on putting any music to it?
 
The Diplomat said:
It's good lol. Like I said, I'm not sure how the melody goes, so right now it's poetry. I like the words and imagery. Do you play on putting any music to it?
Click to expand...
I think it would make a good song but I can't even play an instrument so although it's something I would like to see happen I'm not sure yet how it will get done.
 
The Diplomat said:
It's good lol. Like I said, I'm not sure how the melody goes, so right now it's poetry. I like the words and imagery. Do you play on putting any music to it?
Click to expand...
Can't edit. LOL
Thanks for the reply.
 
That first one, around in circles is a damn good song buddy. Guitars remind me a little bit of Kurt Vile stuff.
 
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