BJJ Question for the Smaller Guys and Girls Out There!!

You are my weight and I, too, am a lady. I'd love to train with a female who is my weight, but I have always had male training partners. Don't be discouraged, you will benefit from training with those big guys so much more!

Ice 9 Cobra is telling you what you need to know about breaking the grip, but it can be difficult to understand by reading text.... You can look for some videos on youtube about how to break the grip or if you like my husband and I would be willing to shoot you a quick tutorial vid showing how a female your size and weight could implement the technique effectively.

Your right, that guy is a douche for using his weight and strength advantage against you and for resting on top of you. Hopefully he learns a more respectful way of rolling with smaller opponents which is to use only technique.

So good to hear! I am determined for this to pay off, when I start competing!! my opponent should feel like a feather! :wink:

I will search around on Youtube but I'm sure it would no doubt help out myself but also others in the same situation if you get a chance to put something up!!

Love the support of other BJJ gals! Cheers!
 
Being small, you're going to have to get used to less experienced people being able to muscle things on you. It sucks but it's part of the game. It will happen less the better you get, but try not to let it rub your ego too hard. It's easy to strain stuff when fighting tooth and nail to not give something up to someone much bigger. I remember reading a post from Hilary a while back (female blackbelt with an impressive competitive record), where she said she wished she hadn't done that early in her training because her joints were paying for it now. I've taken the mentality in the past few months where my first priority is ALWAYS staying relaxed and keeping myself safe. My joints and spine have been incredibly grateful. Combing that with intense focus on my breathing and I can also outlast just about anyone despite my shitty cardio.

I hear about being "efficient" when rolling.. Using your energy well. Still hasn't quite clicked in my head!! Working on it :) But I definitely agree, these people aren't worth getting injured over! Same guy during the same roll smashed and bruised up my knee... hah Took a few days rest to ice it down. WOuld much prefer all my joints/limbs/ect intact for years to come!!!
 
Him maintaining mount with your arms pinned is less of a concern than the fact he has both your arms pinned.

He should be trying to submit you via Americana or something similar,

Basically you should be working on not letting him get both your arms pinned and if he does unsettle his base and work on getting your arms free.

I agree completely! The situation overall was strange... I think I was confused in general as, obviously, no one has sat there and just held me down before!!! He also passed my guard several times by digging one arm in between my legs. Needless to say I threw up, I think, 3 triangles during the roll. I appreciate all the responses. I feel next time I should be able to capitalize on his stalling!
 
I agree completely! The situation overall was strange... I think I was confused in general as, obviously, no one has sat there and just held me down before!!! He also passed my guard several times by digging one arm in between my legs. Needless to say I threw up, I think, 3 triangles during the roll. I appreciate all the responses. I feel next time I should be able to capitalize on his stalling!

If a guy a fair bit bigger then you needs to take a break during your roll you are doing something right.

Keep at it and good luck.


Cool tip I heard recently,
even if you don't know why he did what he just did, undo it, NOW.
 
Ok, so I have had about 5 months of Jits... I'm a 120lbs girl so I have to be very technical when I roll. The classes at my gym are really small, so everyone has to roll with everyone. I've had a lot of difficultly rolling with a (170lbs??) new guy. He uses his size advantage to mount and then, last time, pinned my arms to the mat with his hands. He wasn't trying to work for anything, just sat there resting because his cardio sucks!! Total douchebag move! Anyways, I would love suggestions on what to do when I can't use my arms! (How I usually escape mount is shrimping, digging elbows in, pushing on knee, ect. Or even when I buck up and pull butterfly I am pushing up with my arms as well.)
Ha! Sounds like what happens w/me when I (woman, 5'9", 145lbs, white belt) roll with this one particular white belt guy who probably has at least 35lbs on me. I don't think that he's really more technically skilled than I. I certainly train more than he does and my fitness is much better, but his size is such (and my escapes clearly have some room for improvement) that when he passes my guard, I'm done.

I always try to avoid rolling with him because it's just so, so, so, so boring. He'll pass my guard, go to mount, he sits on me like a fat-ar$e, and forces an americana. It's boring because it's always the same submission (which, I know begs the question as to why, if I know what's coming, I can't prevent it?) and once he gets mount, he never tries to transition to side control, to the back, or to work different submissions. Don't get me wrong, there are plenty of other people that I train with that when I start out I know I'm about to be arm bar'd or choked or whatever but I'll never know where it's coming from and by the time I see it coming, it'll be too late.

Furthermore, when I roll with people who are better and/or bigger than me, they generally let me work my escapes, at least initially, before sinking into a submission. This guy, tho, has no time to let another fellow white belt (and one who is significantly smaller than them) work their escapes because he's so intent on his americana. It's super annoying.

I've started tapping super early, just because he is so intent on the submission that I don't even want to try to fight it because I may end up getting hurt. Once he's gotten the set-up, I know I'm eff'd so I may as well reset and try to learn just a little more about preventing his passes.

But, give yourself some time & your game will come together. I train more regularly than him and my guard has gotten better so that the last time I rolled with him, yes, he got a tap from me from his americana set-up but after we reset, I was able to arm drag him and transition to his back and then I got to ride his boring ar$e like a pony. (Alto, I didn't get any submissions as I couldn't break his grips for an arm bar and every time I went for a bow&arrow, I couldn't get the choke hand deep enough. But I got to transition between the two sides and those two submission set-ups and make him sweat, so I was pretty happy about it.)

I've complained about how mind-numbingly boring he is before.
 
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Being small, you're going to have to get used to less experienced people being able to muscle things on you. It sucks but it's part of the game. It will happen less the better you get, but try not to let it rub your ego too hard. It's easy to strain stuff when fighting tooth and nail to not give something up to someone much bigger. I remember reading a post from Hilary a while back (female blackbelt with an impressive competitive record), where she said she wished she hadn't done that early in her training because her joints were paying for it now. I've taken the mentality in the past few months where my first priority is ALWAYS staying relaxed and keeping myself safe. My joints and spine have been incredibly grateful. Combing that with intense focus on my breathing and I can also outlast just about anyone despite my shitty cardio.

what this guy said. discovering how to learn from defeat is super important. the new guy who pinned your arms is not a douchebag, he's just somebody trying to find the right way like you.
 
I came in here to say you can use the foot-drag escape. I am your size and I find this very useful. Even ask someone in your gym to help you drill it a few times!

Let us know how you go with it :)
 
I came in here to say you can use the foot-drag escape. I am your size and I find this very useful. Even ask someone in your gym to help you drill it a few times!

Let us know how you go with it :)

Steven Kesting has a video on this with something about defating bigger stronger opponents in the title of it.

Its kesting so it is good stuff, but it needs to be done before he traps your arms.
 
Why is resting in mount a douchebag move? I get that it's frustrating, but being patient and knowing when to work and when to rest is a big aspect of all combat sports.
 
Where was the question? LOL

Sorry had to say it. My gf rolls with me and is def on the smaller side (47kg). We've both been training about 7 months now, but are still very careful about who she rolls with and when. We watch others at the gym before she even accepts a roll to make sure they're:
not a douche
not a spaz
know how to control their body
not hot headed and can admit a loss of position based on technique, not bc of strength

The last one is huge because if you can find those guys you'll have a better idea of where you're really at. It sucks when guys make a mistake and overly rely on strength for escape where they might have been tapped on an equally large guy. Some guys are cool enough to admit they were caught even if they could "power out".

Sure she gets to roll less often and doesn't have access to every guy at the gym, but she's been injury free for the most part and maintains a pretty positive outlook for training. We also both benefit a lot from the "How to defeat bigger stronger opponent" series. They have some really good info when you're starting out.
 
Where was the question? LOL

Sorry had to say it. My gf rolls with me and is def on the smaller side (47kg). We've both been training about 7 months now, but are still very careful about who she rolls with and when. We watch others at the gym before she even accepts a roll to make sure they're:
not a douche
not a spaz
know how to control their body
not hot headed and can admit a loss of position based on technique, not bc of strength

The last one is huge because if you can find those guys you'll have a better idea of where you're really at. It sucks when guys make a mistake and overly rely on strength for escape where they might have been tapped on an equally large guy. Some guys are cool enough to admit they were caught even if they could "power out".

Sure she gets to roll less often and doesn't have access to every guy at the gym, but she's been injury free for the most part and maintains a pretty positive outlook for training. We also both benefit a lot from the "How to defeat bigger stronger opponent" series. They have some really good info when you're starting out.

I get what you're saying, but what would she do if somebody in a tournament or on the street didn't concede position because of loss of technique?
 
I hear about being "efficient" when rolling.. Using your energy well. Still hasn't quite clicked in my head!! Working on it :) But I definitely agree, these people aren't worth getting injured over! Same guy during the same roll smashed and bruised up my knee... hah Took a few days rest to ice it down. WOuld much prefer all my joints/limbs/ect intact for years to come!!!

It really sucks to be in your situation, so I totally feel for you. Sometimes there really isn't an effective counter when you are that over-matched in size/strength/technique, which makes it infuriating to train with douches like that.

The thing about being "efficient' in training is understanding when using energy is truly going to benefit you. When a guy has you mounted and is pinning you and you can't do much because he has 50+ pounds and he is a dude so he is stronger, you need to to almost bait the guy to attack with a submission (i.e. try to give up an arm or expose your neck so the guy will move and go for something).

If someone is stronger/bigger but not very experienced or technical and just wants to hold you down and you struggle against it (which is a natural reaction), the guy is just going to focus more on holding you down. Since he is on top, it takes him way less energy to counter-fight, and since he has size/strength, you are just going to get exhausted fighting out of a perilous position, while he is resting. If he is just pinning you down and isn't taking the bait on the arm/neck and isn't trying at all to submit you or go for transitions, I'd try to make him feel like a moron for doing so. Just let him pin your arms and don't fight back and after a minute if he is still doing it say something out loud so the entire class can hear like "did you come here to learn BJJ or just sit on top of girls to feel better about yourself?"

Whenever I roll with a girl, unless she is a black-belt I'm going to use absolutely no strength/all technique and focus on working transitions without finishes so that the girl can benefit from the roll as much as me. Then if she makes a really bad mistake I can gently catch her with a sub and give her plenty of chances to escape and if she doesn't know how, I'll coach her. Helps her improve as a fighter, helps me improve my coaching, and helps improve the training environment.

BJJ is about learning and growing as a team, assholes like that guy you were training with are looked down on at are academy. You pull that shit at my school, your next roll is going to be against a certified killer who is going to run a clinic on you and crank subs like it's the ADCC world finals to teach you a lesson.

Sorry to hear about your experience, don't let it get you down and keep training strong!
 
I get what you're saying, but what would she do if somebody in a tournament or on the street didn't concede position because of loss of technique?

In a tournament she'll go against girls her size/strength, so there shouldn't be any excuses for effective techniques not working when applied properly. There were some good recommendations in this thread, and if applied to someone of the same size/strength you will surely escape the position.

In the street, there are no rules - if a bigger/stronger guy is on top of you in mount, please by all means employ sharp elbows to the groin IMMEDIATELY to create space, followed by more groin attacks (up-kicks, twist-n-grab, punches, etc.). Hit em' where it hurts ladies, if that's the situation they deserve it and a lot worse.
 
To OP

Like someone else said, if he needs to take a break, you're doing ok.

Why do you have to do anything though? He's resting. Why can't you rest? Is he submitting you by holding your arms? No? Then don't worry about it. Is it annoying and kind of wasting both of your time if he never lets up until the round is over? Certainly. But a problem? Not in a million years.

Learn to take advantage of when he tries to do something again. Be patient. If he wants to submit you, he's going to have to let go of at least one arm. Maybe even both for a second. This is what you should be waiting for.

If he feels like he's winning by holding down a ridiculously smaller person, let him. It will only hurt his improvement in the long run. Rolling with bigger people isn't necessarily horrible. Just get over the fact that 99% of the time you spend in BJJ is going to be spent "losing". It's like grinding experience in a game like World of Warcraft. It's not always fun to kill the same boring things over and over. But you have to do it to get the experience points to level up. THEN you can do the cool stuff.

In short. Have patience. If you're rolling with a huge size and/or strength disadvantage, whenever you're not submitting, you're doing well. Keep at it.
 
In a tournament she'll go against girls her size/strength, so there shouldn't be any excuses for effective techniques not working when applied properly. There were some good recommendations in this thread, and if applied to someone of the same size/strength you will surely escape the position.

In the street, there are no rules - if a bigger/stronger guy is on top of you in mount, please by all means employ sharp elbows to the groin IMMEDIATELY to create space, followed by more groin attacks (up-kicks, twist-n-grab, punches, etc.). Hit em' where it hurts ladies, if that's the situation they deserve it and a lot worse.

Oooor... She could not go for techniques against bigger opponents that rely too much on strength, and instead develop a game that allows her to defeat people that will be able to muscle out of such subs.
 
One thing that always helped me when rolling with much bigger guys is I learned to take and maintain the back. I find it much easier to stay out of any possible danger, and easier to finish. Just my opinion.
 
Where was the question? LOL

Sorry had to say it. My gf rolls with me and is def on the smaller side (47kg). We've both been training about 7 months now, but are still very careful about who she rolls with and when. We watch others at the gym before she even accepts a roll to make sure they're:
not a douche
not a spaz
know how to control their body
not hot headed and can admit a loss of position based on technique, not bc of strength

The last one is huge because if you can find those guys you'll have a better idea of where you're really at. It sucks when guys make a mistake and overly rely on strength for escape where they might have been tapped on an equally large guy. Some guys are cool enough to admit they were caught even if they could "power out".

Sure she gets to roll less often and doesn't have access to every guy at the gym, but she's been injury free for the most part and maintains a pretty positive outlook for training. We also both benefit a lot from the "How to defeat bigger stronger opponent" series. They have some really good info when you're starting out.

I have a question for you.

Is it weird to watch dudes roll with your gf? I ask because there is a couple at my gym and I have always wondered if they don't enjoy watching their partner rolling with the opposite sex.
 
I have a question for you.

Is it weird to watch dudes roll with your gf? I ask because there is a couple at my gym and I have always wondered if they don't enjoy watching their partner rolling with the opposite sex.

I'll chime in on this as well if you don't mind.

As someone who's significant other also trains. I can tell you that I care about her and because of this I worry when she gets beat up terribly hard by some guys who go very hard. Other than that, no.

The reason you think it's weird is because you have either latent homosexuality and equate BJJ with sex. Or you haven't had a kiss by a girl in way too long and also equate all bodily contact with sex.

Solution for your problems if something like that bothers you is to just not be so obsessed with sex.
 
For the OP, in this situation the best thing to do is to not get caught with your arms extended and away from your body, especially if there's such a big size difference. I know that's not tremendously helpful, but eventually you internalize the idea that you have to stay in a good position the whole time, and you start to recognize somebody putting you in a bad position.

It drives me nuts when bigger, stronger people do stuff like this, but it just motivates me to become even more technically competent so I have a better chance of dealing with them.

Honestly if a much bigger and stronger guy did this to me and then all he did was hang out without trying anything, I'd say that was someone trying to make a point (or make themselves feel better) without trying to learn. I'd probably just lay there until it became socially uncomfortable for him, and then ask him if he planned to advance his position.
 
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