Best UFC Jokes

[AmericanMMA]

Tiki.

Came here to say this. Lol well played sir. Way to be on top of it. When he submitted to a schoolyard headlock was classic.

 

[Sum]

In after "Random fighter" "complaint about UFC" "passive aggressive fighter bash" as jokes.

 

[Get it on]

One of our fellow Sherdog posters has in his sig something to the effect of "Frank Trigg once got choked out by a turtleneck sweater." Anyways I think it's funny.

I thought it was "Recharge-38" but I could be wrong, wouldn't be the first time or the last time I'm sure.

 

[Zachery824]

Dana's double chin

 

[Minoki Ichihara]

Brock baddest man on the planet.....that shit was a joke

 

[Diet Otsuka]

Why did Charles Lewis cross the road?

What did Justin Eilers ask for, for Christmas?

 

[RawDawgBob]

Did you hear about the time time Anderson Silva, Big Nog, and Ed Soares walked into a bar and there was only one stool left? They just turned it upside down and sat.

Ouch...that would hurt.

 

[Diet Otsuka]

Why does no one like training with Cheick Kongo?

Why don't you want Frank Mir to be your coach on TUF?

 

[Diet Otsuka]

I tried to tell Johny Hendricks a joke about a title shot, but he didn't get it.

 

[Chas]

Alistair was having trouble getting around a fat man, so he just jumped Overeem.

Chael doesn't want to fight Anderson in an outdoor stadium because he's afraid he'll get the Sonnen his eyes.

Kyle ran out of fruit for his morning cereal, so he stole the Kingsbury.

I'll be here all week

 

[Chas]

i tried to tell johny hendricks a joke about title shot, but he didn't get it.

lol

 

[fight4ippon]

Rampage. I thought he was clever and hilarious for years. I thought this guys a genius he clowns everyone. But then I realized none of his personality is an act.

 

[AllAboutTheGame]

Why does Bendo always keep a toothpick in his mouth?

So it's easier to pick out left overs from the puke on the side of the road in Korea

 

[Chas]

What is Ken Shamrock's favorite movie?

Spoiler

Night of the Living Death

 

[thewhiteSRR]

C'mon, give credit where credit is due. That is one of Chael's jokes isn't it?

like most of Chael's material, it's an old joke put into an MMA context.

 

[Calipwnia]

How can you tell that GSP isn't Scandinavian?
Cuz he can never Finnish.

 

[BabyGorrila]

Alistair was having trouble getting around a fat man, so he just jumped Overeem.

Chael doesn't want to fight Anderson in an outdoor stadium because he's afraid he'll get the Sonnen his eyes.

Kyle ran out of fruit for his morning cereal, so he stole the Kingsbury.

I'll be here all week

Man that is horrible lol, don't quit your day job

 

[deesnuts27]

I tried to tell Johny Hendricks a joke about title shot, but he didn't get it.

Hahaha winner

 

[Fruits]

What's the difference between a folding chair and Brock Lesnar?

Spoiler

A folding chair can pass the guard.

What's the difference between how a court and Anderson Silva treat convicted drug users?

Spoiler

Anderson Silva actually punishes them.

This isn't a joke as much as a fun fact, but if you flip the c and the l in chael, chael backwards is "leach." :wink:

James Toney
Kimbo Slice

If we wait long enough, maybe a new promotion (whether MMA or kickboxing) will pop up and make those two guys their big draws!

After that, they'll probably get a bunch of popular (former) pro wrastlers from all around the world, and said organization will pay off legitimate fighters to lose to them! It will be like the terrible parts of Pride and EliteXC had a fugly baby that "hardcore" wrastling fans always wanted to wear on a shirt.

 

[Psychojoe86]

"A black belt under the nogueira brothers? That's like getting a toy in yer happy meal at McDonald's"