Basic Training Stories

Discussion in 'Mayberry Lounge' started by SamSchmidt, Apr 3, 2019.

  1. SamSchmidt

    SamSchmidt Brown Belt Platinum Member

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    God I love these. I know a lot of military guys hate these when new privates or airmen or whatever they are get back and like to talk all about it. But I remember it as one of the best times in my life in hindsight.

    I'll post more later, I didn't want to post it in the GTFIH thread cuz it's kind of a separate topic. I'll post more stories later when I get the chance. It's hard to do it in text I know these are best served around a bottle of beer and a campfire.

    My big one is. So Privates (New Army personnel) sit on one side of the cafeteria and Drill Sergeants sit on the other with each other. One day my company dares me to go sit with them. (If you have seen full metal jacket, just imagine going and sitting down with drill instructor Hartman while he is having breakfast while your supposed to be doing your own thing.)

    So I pick up my tray and I go over and sit right the fuck in front of my senior drill sergeant in between two of his others. He just looks up at me, lowers his glasses. It's enough for me to get a shit eating grin on my face and start to get up to scurry back to the private side of the cafeteria. He's like.

    "Oh no, private. Sit back down."
    "Would you like some chocolate milk?"

    So all my drill sergeants start waiting on me hand and foot. Making me eat a shitloads.

    So. I'll leave it to others to relate what the term getting smoked is.

    After breakfast I missed training for that whole day. I don't think I've ever puked that much in my entire life.

    Edit: This was Infantry IBCT at Ft. Benning Ga. So you know they went hard. Heh.
     
    Last edited: Apr 3, 2019
  2. SamSchmidt

    SamSchmidt Brown Belt Platinum Member

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    Average infantry joes
     
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  3. Cole train

    Cole train Purple Belt

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    Guy coming back from guard duty to the tent got lost on the way and ended up lost in forest for 3 hours (understandable since its dark as fuck here in winter but still hilarious lmao)
     
  4. Vitor CroCop

    Vitor CroCop Right Wing Liberal Banned

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    Working in the galley at boot camp we had access to the coffee concentrate. One guy drank a whole glass full of that sludge (we called that shit rickie rockets) and went into convulsions. Caffeine ain't no joke
     
  5. Cyrano200

    Cyrano200 Orange Belt

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    Navy boot camp in the late 80's..
    They pick random recruits to have certain responsibility over the other recruits, for instance I was the "education" petty officer because I did well academically and had to tutor others. This loud, obnoxious dude from Jersey volunteered to be the recruit Master at Arms, responsible for enforcing discipline, like making sure everyone followed the daily routine. One day it is just those of us with these collateral duties in the barracks, maybe 6 or 7 guys, when this guy tells another recruit to do something, don't remember what but it was trivial. A smile and a [email protected]#k you followed, no Drill Instructor what are you going to do kind of thing. Impotent rage and a monumental tantrum resulted in jersey guy punching a brick wall full force and storming off. Not 3 seconds later he comes back, eyes wide, face white in pain and unable to scream, cradling a hand rapidly swelling to three times it's original size. I never saw him again after he was trundled off to medical.
     
  6. SamSchmidt

    SamSchmidt Brown Belt Platinum Member

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    tKm6FSN.gif
    Is what you should have told that fucker. Haha. He was out there meeting up with a ladyboy or whacking it.
     
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  7. SamSchmidt

    SamSchmidt Brown Belt Platinum Member

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    Haha. So he bounced from a broken hand?
     
  8. RoninJin

    RoninJin Holla At Me If You Like My Avatar

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    I was there at Benning in 2005. We just got done getting smoked for 3 hours and are heading to chow. In the cafeteria there's a normal line where everyone waits and get served the same crap and there's a special line where the cooks makes you a special. Special typically includes an omelette, sandwich, or veggie crap. Everyone knows you are not suppose to wait in the special line. It's normally reserve for the Drill Sgts because the wait time is too time consuming and we only have minutes to finish our meal.

    So as I recalled this one Pvt, who was our squad leader, waited on that line while everyone else was passing him by. He display an 'I didn't give a fuck attitude' wait as I get my omelette before the Drills would notice. So one of our Drill walked in and walked to the special line and stood next to him. The Pvt stating and I will never forget, "Go around Drill Sgt, I'm waiting for my omelette."
    So we stood there and disbelief thinking that he's fucked.

    The Drill then told him to put his tray down and to follow him outside the cafeteria. Next, the Drill had him stand at attention next to the door and had him shout, "Move along Drill Sgt, I'm waiting for my omelette!" He must had stood out there for 2 hours shouting those lines as other platoons cycle in and out of the cafeteria. From that moment on, all the Drills and us called him Pvt Omelette. Even during our marching cadence we would recite, "Moveeee alonggggg Dril Sgtttt, I'm waiting for those omeletteeeee."
    I think the whole battalion caught on and we would hear them recite those lines too.


    Funny shit
     
  9. SamSchmidt

    SamSchmidt Brown Belt Platinum Member

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    Haha.! That is fucking awesome.

    Leave it to privates to fuck up your day
     
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  10. the ambush

    the ambush Double Yellow Card Double Yellow Card

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  11. TheLinguist

    TheLinguist Brown Belt

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    I laughed, the sheer cheek of that private, hilarious
     
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  12. SamSchmidt

    SamSchmidt Brown Belt Platinum Member

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    Stalkingsquid and TheLinguist like this.
  13. gocubsgo

    gocubsgo Green Belt

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    Fort Benning 1998. We were all lined up in the morning in the barracks between the bathroom stalls and sinks waiting to brush our teeth or whatever. It’s dead silent except for the sinks going and one of the guys in the stall taking a shit just yells out. ..”Who...does...number...two...work...for?” Austin powers had just come out the previous year and everyone started laughing. Needless to say, we all got toes on line and smoked for a good hour.

    It’s funny when you start thinking about those stories how so many more pop into your head. Can’t believe it was almost 21 years ago.
     
  14. gocubsgo

    gocubsgo Green Belt

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    My drill sergeants were hard asses but one of the other platoons had a drill sergeant that was a legit psychopath. I remember taking to one of the guys in his platoon in 11C school and he was like dude, I prayed every night for that guy to die.

    Guy would come in to the barracks drunk at like 3am and just wake his platoon up and just smoke them for hours or make them sit for hours and stare at this fish tank he had. He would never let them sleep. You’d be on guard at like 2-3 in the morning.and just feel the floor shaking cause those guys were getting smoked.
     
  15. Scott Parker 27

    Scott Parker 27 Your Mom's Box

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    That's funny. Was this after the period of the instructors being able to cuss at you? I remember my brother telling me they couldn't curse at you, worst he was called was clown nuts.
     
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  16. HelloJapan

    HelloJapan Talking loud and saying nothing. Platinum Member

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    Cool stories, bros.
     
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  17. IIIIIIII

    IIIIIIII Titanium Belt

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    That is fucking hilarious. That took some guts, dude lol!
     
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  18. OMGstreetfight

    OMGstreetfight Fred Loya Insurance shill

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    Suck parties were a thing when I was in basic. Twas the best of times twas the most delicious of times.


    A dude was choking to death on his breakfast the day after we got out CLS (combat life saver) training and the drill sergeants waited for someone to help him. When the guy next to him finally got up to and gave him the himlick, all our drill sergeant said was "hey, somebody learned something yesterday."
     
    Last edited: Apr 3, 2019
  19. RoninJin

    RoninJin Holla At Me If You Like My Avatar

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    Back in 05 it was a cuss fest slaughter. Nowadays they probably can't do it. The DS did draw a line on racial slurs though. One DS got jammed up because he flat out called an Asian kid, "the C word" and told him to back to his "C word" parents' vaginas..lol
     
  20. TheLinguist

    TheLinguist Brown Belt

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    @SamSchmidt

    Excellent thread, I’ve laughed my ass off three times already
     

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