Balancing training with being a parent

Discussion in 'Grappling Technique' started by blindgod, Jun 27, 2010.

  1. blindgod

    blindgod Blue Belt

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    My wife gave birth to our first child two weeks ago. Since then, I've been taking time off of both work and bjj, but I'll be going back to work tomorrow and want to get back to training. I'm a new purple belt and live about 90 minutes round-trip from the school.

    I was hoping someone might be able to give me some advice about how to balance doing both.
     
  2. tim18t

    tim18t Blue Belt

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    Family comes first. That's the best advice you can get. I have a 2.5 year old and I work full time, train 2 nights a week and Saturday mornings. I have a wife that is very supportive of my hobby and realizes it's very important to me, but she also knows that she and my son are my priority.
     
  3. risingD

    risingD Guest

    why don't you just ask your wife what she is thinking about that?
     
  4. blindgod

    blindgod Blue Belt

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    I have, but at the same time, this is new for both her and myself and I was hoping to hear from people who have experience doing so. Advice, stories, tips, things like that.
     
  5. koolinkunming

    koolinkunming Silver Belt

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    When the missus and I have a baby I'm planning on toting the kid along in the carseat or stroller. Can watch daddy train. Start em young, I say!
     
  6. the_Dark Knight

    the_Dark Knight Purple Belt

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    It is not an easy thing to balance out. My wife gave birth to our first child last August and it is very tough finding the time to train. I had compromise with her as lo g as the babies healthy and isn't sick and. She won't be by herself I can go train two maybe three times a wk.
     
  7. Breadcutter

    Breadcutter Yellow Belt

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    First, 90 min round trip is brutal, but you take what you got.
    The name of the game is efficiency. I like bjj that much that I cut out a lot of bull shit that was wasteful. Number two's coming around and it's going to be even harder, but again, when I get to the gym, it's on and training the whole time. If previously I would go for an hour and train, when I go now, I usually am there for 2-3.5 hours. Work will become more efficient and I'll probably eliminate some other things. A supportive spouse in the end is definitely a must.
     
  8. Jagcorps_esq

    Jagcorps_esq Red Belt

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    I think that you'll find, the hardest times for your wife will not be during training. Not really. Rather, it will be in the middle of the night or early mornings....times when you can pick up the slack and make her appreciate what you do.

    Then the times that you are gone will be less concerning, because she's happy with you...you let her sleep at night, or got up first in the morning...or did the shopping on the way home from the gym, so she could stay home and relax.

    Take the kid away from the house too....that's a huge thing. Mom, at home, alone.....major points.
     
  9. risingD

    risingD Guest

    when your kid is old enough take him/her with you to the gym to do some bjj... might also be in your interest
     
  10. Joshu

    Joshu Blue Belt

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    TS, the other thing you wanna keep in mind right now is that a new baby is gonna be disruptive to everything, but only for a time. When my daughter was born, and she was premature, so we had to feed her around the clock every couple hours, I honestly felt like I was never gonna sleep another decent night of sleep in my life.

    But the kid becomes a part of your routine, even more "portable" as they get older. You might miss a bit of training right now, and if you trained five days a week, you might never get back to that, but in a few months you'll figure out how to train three days a week, no problem, even with all your other stuff.

    & congratulations, bro. Your purple belt means shit next to being that kids' dad.
     
  11. TJS

    TJS Brown Belt

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    It's going to be tough in the beging..hopefully you have a supportive wife. Once they get a little older things get easier because you can bring them along sometimes and they are less hasstle for single parent at home to handle.
     
  12. Zankou

    Zankou Muscle and Hate Staff Member Senior Moderator

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    It is very hard.
     
  13. Lenny7

    Lenny7 Blue Belt

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    Find that balance with family and personal life. Keep in mind I doubt you will be 85 wishing you would have trained three times a week instead of two. You might have wished you spent more time with your kids who are now grown with kids of their own now, who have trouble finding time to come visit their dad. "Cat's in the Cradle" story I guess. Keep training, remember what really matters and find that balance. Sometimes I wish I trained 4 times a week. I love BJJ. Not as much as I love my wife though.
     
  14. JRT6

    JRT6 Black Belt

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    1. BJJ keeps you sane so the kids need for you to keep that going.

    2. I work around my kids. I go to morning classes when they are at school and on saturday morning then spend the rest of the day with them. I only go to one night class a week and that is usually on a day off from work so the kids spent time with me beforehand.
     
  15. netbjjer420

    netbjjer420 Green Belt

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    Put some alcohol in your kid's bottle the bring him along to class.
     
  16. xMTDx

    xMTDx A grappling dad

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    Yeah I usually do one night and sat morning and then a session on my lunch break during the week. Got a fight in a month so its been hard organising everything, including time together with my wife. Add two kids to the mix ( 2yr old and three month old) and it gets crazy. There's a gym and track at my work so I run and lift twice a week and do fight training 2-3 times a week too.
     
  17. Ranger

    Ranger I'm getting too old for this sht

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    for a year or two, go once a week. And if you miss a class, BJJ will always be there. Don't miss time with your baby. In time, you'll be able to balance things.
     
  18. REED

    REED White Belt

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    Your purple belt means shit next to being that kids Dad. Spot on Joshu.

    Reed
     
  19. CroSSGunS

    CroSSGunS Yellow Belt

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    There's always one /b/ rated article.
     
  20. iheartthemount

    iheartthemount Blue Belt

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    i roll with a lot of guys who are also parents. we give them a lot of crap for being late and missing class but in reality we understand what commitment they have and know what they go through is more then what we have to go through.

    on a positive side, one of the fathers got an awesome koral summer gi from his family for fathers day.
     

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