Bad dates

VroomyJeeps said:
I went on a date last week that was terrible. I pull up to her house and she comes out wearing a skin tight dress with her boobs popping out. How terribly uncomfortable i was.

I ask her where she wants to eat and she says the steakhouse, on her. She wouldn't even let me pay for my own meal, how rude.

At dinner she keeps licking her lips, and biting her lower lip while staring at me. I chalk it up to OCD and ignore it.

We're driving home and she keeps asking to pull over, i assume shes feeling sick from dinner and i tell her we will be back at her place soon.

We get there and shes constantly complaining about how hot she is, and that she should take off her shirt.

That was the last draw, all of this and now complaining about the temperature? I had enough!

I left and she was texting me asking me to come back for desert when she KNEW i was already full from dinner. Just an awful night.
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At least she didn't try and give you a BJ in the car. The nerve.
 
Smashandgrab said:
You're a horrible person. Even by Sherdog standards. Goddamn.
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equus said:
ok I have one.

many years back, right before I dated my wife, I dated many different women. out of sheer boredom one afternoon, my roommate Jon and I were joking around about yahoo personals since I had a yahoo email and that fucking ad kept popping up. we bet each other that we could snag a legit good looking woman off of yahoo before the other. the wager was a steak at the local steakhouse and a picked up full bar tab after at the bar we frequented. we had 3 chances each. first to get a cute one, won. or first to miss on 3, lost.

so we both make our profiles (I tried to look up my profile years later and I think they did away with the service.) and the nice thing was yahoo didn't have the service perfected yet and you could sneak your telephone number and email into your free profile that was active for a month and forgo the $20 monthly fee or whatever it was.

anyway, I make mine and he makes his. after a day or so I start getting bites. the equivalent of "likes" on fb and these girls start sending me their pics andmost of them are the same pic from their profiles. some are smoking hot and some are clearly bots. he starts getting hits too. only he doesn't do any research. he just responds to one of the first ones he thinks is cute. I on the other hand start searching myspace (f you. that's what it was then. fucking myspace. so maybe I got to listen to "lips of an angel" which is what every fucking woman had as her myspace song at the time) to vet these chicks. he sets up a date and meets this chick at a coffee house by our place. hes back in 2 hours. he said "welp. back to the drawing board. she was petite from her head to waist. and from waist to toes she was a beach ball. she was literally the shape of a squash." :icon_lol: bets still on. Jon 0-1...

I meet one. she looks great in every single pic. her body type on myspace said "athletic". I thought "I LOVE ATHLETIC WOMENZ". she called me and we set up a date to go to a royals game the next day. and she says "since we are meeting for the first time, do you care if I bring 2 girlfriends? can you bring 2 guy friends?" so I think "ok". why not? if we hit it off and she wants to come over after the game, that can happen. then she seals it by saying "if we like each other, they can leave and we can continue the date at your place." smooooth.

the next day, Jon (I let him be one of the friends. this didn't count as an attempt for him), our friend Rob and I are waiting for the girls to show at our townhouse. knock at the door and 3 women cast a shadow across our door that would make Mothra flee in terror. the girl I was set to take out, I would say its fair to say she "misrepresented" herself. She was about 15 years older and 100lbs heavier than her picture. she looked like "Nutrislim" Kirstie Alley. not season 3 "Cheers" Kirstie Alley. I could hear the snickers from Rob and Jon. right up until Mothra stepped aside and 2 of those imperial guard pig looking monsters from Return of the Jedi stepping inside the doorway. then it was my turn to turn around and look at them and flash a smile wider than the grand canyon. vindication.

well we had the tickets so we went to the game. had a good time and at one point one of the pig guards pulled me aside and said "Lisa" really finds you attractive. youre her type and she wants to hang out later." im sure she does since she doesn't leave the house often. this is an adventure. my fear was if I fed her after midnight shed turn into the biggest Gremlin ever.

anyway, after the game, we went home, alone. and I changed my number. and moved. no chances on that one. eq 0-1 also.
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So who won the bet? Or did you call it a draw after that?
 
MC Paul Barman said:
Share your 'fun'....

Sophmore year in college: I meet up with some of my friends from high school who went off to different colleges. We go back to our hometown, go out to eat, and there's this cute'ish waitress working there.

She and I hit it off and she gives me her phone number.

The movie Waterboy is out in the theaters and we go to see it. I hated it and she's cracking up at every dumb thing in the movie. I already know this is a bad sign. It's this low-sounding Butthead (from Beavis and Butthead) type laugh.

Movie ends and she and I just aren't on the same wavelength.

I quickly lose interest and just want to drop her off back home. We drive past Perkins and she starts begging for us to go there to get something to eat. So I think 'why not'. As we're turning around to go to Perkins she's being a bit more engaging....and I'm warming up to her.

We walk into the restaurant and she points to one of those claw drop machines and says "I love those!!".
We sit down, order our food, and she says she wants to quickly try it.

She's playing on that damn machine the entire time I'm sitting there waiting for our food. But she's playing it very animatedly: "Come on, Come on, Come on!!! Almost had it!!!" (stuff like that).... loud enough that anyone listening (and even those who aren't) can hear her.

I'm sitting at the table increasingly embarrassed as people are watching her laughing (she being completely oblvious to the whole thing). I'm honestly considering at this point sneaking out of the restaurant and just leaving her there and never talking to her again.

The food comes and she still doesn't come back to eat. I'm not certain if I'm more happy or more upset about it.

She comes back to the table, sits down, takes a bite or two and then asks if I have any quarters.
People are now realizing that we're together. She makes a scene begging for some dollars to play the machine some more. I hand her a couple of dollars out of shear embarrassment to just get the other people to stop looking at me.

She runs back to the machine, as loud and as animated as ever.... didn't do the trick: people are still looking at me, at her and laughing.

I have no appetite to even eat. But in my head the scene of me sitting there not eating is worse than that of me actually eating. So I start forcing it down.

Now I'm finished, too embarrassed to keep on sitting there and too embarrassed to go up to her and say "let's leave".
She yells to me as I'm paying the bill "get a doggie bag for my food!!".

When I finally muster up the courage to stand, I walk over by her and say "let's please leave now".

I'll leave it at that..... after that evening we never spoke again.
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My thought, she had been to that Perkins before:eek:
 
TheLionTamer said:
What did shock me was when we were finished eating, she managed to gather up all the uneaten food off of our plates and placed it on hers. She then proceeded to mash all the food together and into a concoction that can only be described as "mush". She topped it off with half a bottle of soy sauce and finished eating everything in about 15 seconds as we all kind of watched her in disgust.
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Can you dig up her number or e-mail?
Sounds like a keeper.
 
Typical situation where her thumbnail picture was at 'the weigh in' where as in person she 'missed weight'. Went for a pizza and cinemas. Never met up again after that.
 
Smashandgrab said:
You're a horrible person. Even by Sherdog standards. Goddamn.
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Haha, he's a horrible person for not being more into a chick with a head injury that impacted her mobility and speech?

Are good people attracted to that kinda shit?
 
I've been on two bad dates.

The first one was an old AOL chat thing where I fell for the looking up picture that diminishes the appearance of obesity. She was a cool enough chick and easy enough to talk to, but what kicked my ass was that her hot little sister (who looked like she did in the "look how not fat I am" picture online) answered the door and I'm thinking, "okay, she's like 16... whatever, I'm 20. She gettin' fucked." As I'm saying hello, I hear stomping down the stairs and there's a girl my age and basically a fat version of the hot little sister. We went to Starbucks, talked about my friend's band (who was her best friends favorite band) and then I took her home and we never spoke again.

The other bad date was my fault. I took some cute chick from my old job to see a band and hit up a restaurant in the city. She was kinda shy and awkward, and I was in the middle of some wackass depression shit, so I didn't take care of business like I should have. It was a boring, weird time hanging. About a year later, I screwed my head on straight and ever since I've thought about how easily I could've had her wrapped around my johnson, if only I wasn't so fucked in the head at the time.
 
Some nice dating stories in this thread, most of them are good.
 
VroomyJeeps said:
I went on a date last week that was terrible. I pull up to her house and she comes out wearing a skin tight dress with her boobs popping out. How terribly uncomfortable i was.

I ask her where she wants to eat and she says the steakhouse, on her. She wouldn't even let me pay for my own meal, how rude.

At dinner she keeps licking her lips, and biting her lower lip while staring at me. I chalk it up to OCD and ignore it.

We're driving home and she keeps asking to pull over, i assume shes feeling sick from dinner and i tell her we will be back at her place soon.

We get there and shes constantly complaining about how hot she is, and that she should take off her shirt.

That was the last draw, all of this and now complaining about the temperature? I had enough!

I left and she was texting me asking me to come back for desert when she KNEW i was already full from dinner. Just an awful night.
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Brilliant :icon_chee
 
Talking of periods....

Okay. It was about 1month after I'd moved here to Hangzhou. Due to my weird working days (I work weekends, my weekends are Sunday night - Wednesday afternoon), I'd only been out boozing a few times and every time, it was pretty dead or a massive sausage fest (I go to bars popular with ex-pats). Also, I don't go for Chinese chicks, so I was pretty sexually frustrated at this point. Very few western chicks here, most that I've seen seem to have fellas.

Anyway, in this bar, I fall in with a group of expats. There's a chick there, a SINGLE CHICK. She was bigger than I usually go for, not fat but pretty big/chunky. But she had a) gigantic tits and b) cocaine, so she went from a 5/10 to a 10/10 for this sexually frustrated boy.

We end up back at mine. She's on her period so will only give me head. Fine, but I pestered her to fuck and in the end, she said, 'fair enough'. Lights are off etc.

After the deed, she goes to the toilet. Now, I could tell during the act she was bleeding a bit, but when she left for the bathroom, I flicked on the light and there were POOLS of fucking blood all over the bastard bed. POOLS. My face, chest were spattered, my gentials were basically covered in the stuff, it was matting in my leg hair.

Luckily, it's 10am at this point (cocaine for you, we didn't sleep), so she just wants to leave and I never messaged her despite saying I would. Had to throw away all my bedsheets. I know its not her fault, but it was fucking gross.

Bumped into her a few weeks ago, it wasn't weird, luckily.
 
This isn't the greatest story ever but back in the myspace days I was like 21 and there was this 50 year old who looked hot so I hit her up and decided to meet at this restaurant for a drink. I picked this hole in the wall place with outside seating so I could be sorta incognito about it since I wasn't super comfortable with people seeing the age difference. But what the hell...I wanted to see what cougar town was all about.

The first red flag should have been her texts. I hate one word replies but this woman replied in fairly large paragraphs that went off topic half the time. Whatever, her pics looked good so I was ready to go.

I meet her there and she's actually hotter than her pics. She's not like a high maintenance cougar but she wore black framed glasses, had a pretty face, nice rack and wasn't fat. So we sit outside and there's no one out there. Whew thank god. We start talking and this woman just wont shut up. I mean just constantly yapping about anything and everything. Her problems, her past, people dying etc. Not first date stories at all. Anytime the waitress came by, she would have to say like 10,0000 words to her which embarrassed the hell out of me. You could tell the waitress was trying to pry herself away from this woman any time she came by. I was trying to act like I was her son so she wouldn't think I was trying to get at this woman.

Then the waitress comes out with a family. Mom, dad, 10 and 12 year old son and daughter and sits them down RIGHT next to us. I'm like Jesus almighty why???

This lady gets a couple drinks in her and now she's not only talking a mile a minute, but her volume is up to 11 and she's talking about sex! She's telling me how she hasn't been with a man my age in 30 years and the things she likes to do etc. All would be fantastic if it was private and she wasn't annoying as hell. Anytime I looked over at the family, they were just staring right at us. They weren't even talking amongst themselves. It was just both parents and both kids constantly staring at our table, listening to this buzzed sexually frustrated woman go on and on and on.

I was just done with the whole thing so I walked her to her car. She hugged me, rubbed her boobs on me, told me they were real and said she wanted to hang out again. I just didn't feel like it so I didn't call her after that. A few weeks later I sorta "forgot" about how annoying she was so I sent out a feeler text that just said "whats up?". She responded with about 3 paragraphs literally telling me what was up with every aspect of her life. That was a harsh reminder of what I'd have to put up with to try and get any if I went over to her place so I thought better of it and never hit her up again after that. Too bad because she was pretty decent, just too annoying to put up with.
 
Dang smitty, she was giving you an obvious sign that she needed that ****-pleaser of hers filled. My man, if you were willing to sit through all of that, you should at the very least gotten something out of it. Son, I am disappoint.
 
There are some great stories in this thread, lol. One bad date for me would be this woman I met on POF years ago and gone home with. She forgot to tell me she had a yeast infection and I had to find out when I pulled her panties down. She tried to convince me it was not a discharge but just her being really "wet".
 
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