Backpacking/adventure tourism in Somalia

Discussion in 'Mayberry Lounge' started by stroker, Oct 12, 2013.

  1. stroker

    stroker Orange Belt

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    Hi guys, my mate and I had a conversation the other day about traveling and how it was so sterile, safe and generic. Often backpackers and thrill seekers I talk to, go to places and do activities that a done to death already, but still insist that it was the most 'mind-opening experience' that they had etc... which brings me to my next idea.

    If I were to organize a guided travel tour to Somalia, would anyone of the posters here be keen? Do you guys think there is money to be made from this niche in the tourism market for the true adventurous western travelers to come to places like Somalia?

    The reason is I think Somalia is a cool place to travel are:

    -most traveling expenses are cheap.
    -authentic pirates along the beautiful coast, if you're lucky you can join in on the pirate raids (only few places in the world with real piracy) and chill after at real pirate bars!
    -genuine Islamic culture
    -no government, so wicked freedom
    -if sea fighting bores you participate in some cool clan based fighting with AK's in little shanty towns built for little skirmishes, though it would only be awesome to be on the winning side.
    -no hipsters or posers lurking around, only genuine honest Somali folk
    -good place to lose weight and get a tan as weather is sunny all year around and there are food shortages.
    -heaps of untouch diverse fauna and flora

    Somali Pride!
    [​IMG]
    The beautiful nation of Somalia, the horn of Africa.

    [​IMG]
    Now with 50% increased water rations.

    The people of Somalia are just waiting to greet you!
    [​IMG]
     
  2. Concrete

    Concrete Steel Belt

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    Will probably only make sense to Brits.

     
  3. wlu29

    wlu29 Banned Banned

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    I worked with a Somali girl once. She was skinny but had tig ol bitties
     
  4. Rusk

    Rusk Black Belt

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    lol the guy to the left...
     
  5. knuckleroll**

    knuckleroll** Purple Belt

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    Uuuhh....
     
  6. Gawd

    Gawd Banned Banned

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    I'd buy that. Will i get my own bodyguard for the trip?
     
  7. BJ@LW&WW

    [email protected]&WW Gold Belt

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    Just because other people have done it, doesn't mean it's not eye opening or an amazing experience. I've gone on the same hike multiple times and still find the view to be amazing and the trip to be cathartic.

    No, I wouldn't want to go to somalia.




    edit: i just read more of ur post and smells like troll.
     
  8. ICHEERTHEBULL

    ICHEERTHEBULL Brown Belt

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    THE ULTIMATE ADVENTURE CRUISE


    To The Point is excited to offer the ultimate adventure cruise along the pirate-infested coast of Somalia!

    We board our luxury cruise ship in Djibouti on the Gulf of Aden near the entrance to the Red Sea, and disembark in Mombassa, Kenya seven adrenaline-charged days later.

    [​IMG]

    [​IMG]

    Starting at $5,200 per-person (double occupancy, inside room) and $6,900 (veranda complete with bench rest), you'll relax like never before.

    That's because you are welcome to bring your own arsenal with you. If you don't have your own weapons, you can rent them from our onboard Master Gunsmith. Enjoy reloading parties every afternoon with skeet and marksmanship competitions every night!

    But the best fun of all, of course, is Pirate Target Practice.

    For the object of the cruise is to sail up and down the Somali Coast waiting to get hijacked by pirates. The weapons rental costs are as follows.

    Rent a full auto M-16 for only $25/day with ammo attractively priced at $16 per 100 rounds of 5.56 armor-piercing:

    On a budget? Rent a full-auto scope-mounted AK-47 for only $9/day with 7.62 ball ammo at $12 per 100 rounds:

    Hello! Nothing gets a pirate's attention like a Barrett M-107 .50-cal sniper rifle; only $59/day with 25 rounds of armor-piercing ammo affordably priced at only $29.95.

    Need a spotter? Our professional crew members can double as spotters for only $30/hour (spotting scope included, but gratuities are not.)

    Want to make a real impact? Rent an RPG for only $175/day with three fragmentation rounds included!

    Also included: Free complimentary night vision equipment - and throughout the night, coffee, pastries and snacks are always available on the main deck from 7pm until 6am.

    Our deluxe package comes complete with gourmet meals and all rooms offer a mini-bar.

    But that's not all! Twin mounted miniguns are available for rental at only $450.00 per 30 seconds of sustained fire!

    [​IMG]

    We guarantee that you will experience at least two hijacking attempts by pirates or you'll receive an instant $1,000 refund upon arrival in Mombassa.

    How can we make that guarantee? We operate at 5 knots just beyond 12 nautical miles off the coast of Somalia, thus in international waters where pirates have no rights whatever. In fact, we make three passes through the area's most treacherous waters to ensure maximum visibility by Somali "mother ships".

    We repeat this for five days, making three complete passes past the entire Somali Coast. At night, the boat is fully lit and bottle rockets are shot every five minutes with loud disco music directionally beamed shoreside to attract maximum attention.

    Testimonials from previous participants in the Somali Cruise:

    "Six attacks in 4 days were more than I expected. I bagged three pirates, my wife nailed two, and my 12-year old son sank two boats with the mini-gun. This wonderful cruise was fun for the whole family" -- Fred D., Cincinnati, OH

    "Pirates 0, Passengers 32! Well worth the trip! Can't recommend it highly enough!" -- Ben L., Bethesda, MD

    "I haven't had this much fun since flying choppers in 'Nam. Don't worry about getting shot by pirates... they never even got close to the ship with the crap they shoot and their lousy aim... reminds me of a drunken juicer door-gunner we picked up from the motor pool in Phu Bai!" -- Dan J. - Denver, CO

    [​IMG]

    Come on board and bag your own clutch of genuine Somali pirates! But cabin space is limited so you need to respond quickly. Reserve your package before May 31st and get a great bonus - 100 rounds of free tracer ammo in the caliber of your choice. So sign up for the Ultimate Somali Coast Adventure Cruise now!

    [​IMG]

    http://directorblue.blogspot.co.uk/2009/05/somali-coast-cruise-package.html
     
    Last edited: Oct 12, 2013
  9. iCARNACKi

    iCARNACKi Miss The Misc.

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    I fucking hate GAP year students and hippies.

    These bitches who been studying Women's Studies go to India for an adventure and get molested and then cry about it.

    Third World countries gon' Third World.

    I approve this thread, supplied the lulz.
     
  10. MadSquabbles500

    MadSquabbles500 Steel Belt

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    Why not join the Foreign Legion? Or can you join a private military contractor without military experience? Will they train you themselves?
     
  11. BJ@LW&WW

    [email protected]&WW Gold Belt

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    what the fuck is goin on here. this was all just an advertisement ploy wasnt it?

    icheerthebull and stroker are in cahoots.
     
  12. willhaven720

    willhaven720 Brown Belt

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    If you are pretending to be from Australia, you are doing an amazing job.
     
  13. Snakesolidsnake

    Snakesolidsnake Purple Belt

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    This was probably from the same company that sold that package to those idiots that decided it would be nice to go hiking in Iraq and got arrested by Iran.
     
  14. RTR ATL

    RTR ATL A-level

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    Rusk is gonna go around punching all of the Somalis; do not take him.
     
  15. blink_man182

    blink_man182 Black Belt

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    No chance I'd go to Somalia. All inclusive shit show on some beach sounds about right for me. Girls, booze and great weather > skinny pirates, getting robbed and shitting myself to death from the food/water.

    [​IMG]
     
  16. SevenSamurai

    SevenSamurai Silver Belt

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    So are you CIA or Special OPs establishing your cover story in advance?

    Somalia is relatively stable right now -at least by their standards
     
  17. MixMartialFarts

    MixMartialFarts Butters Belt

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    I'm going as a Somali pirate for halloween this year.
     
  18. AgeofEmpires2**

    AgeofEmpires2** Silver Belt

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    I think I'll save on travel expenses and instead tour Detroit.
     
  19. stroker

    stroker Orange Belt

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    Detroit doesn't have piracy on the high seas and authentic violence that Somalia does.
     
  20. BayAreaGuy

    BayAreaGuy Good Day

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    The thing I find appealing about Somalia is the lack of other tourists, and the unbeatable prices.

    Me and my family were planning a trip to Italy for a week, but instead I convinced everyone to cancel that, and instead take a month long trip to Somalia for the same price.

    As for safety, I figure that since so many people are carrying guns around in the street, they must be the security forces. It's gotta be pretty safe.

    Unfortunately, there are no banks or atm machines there. So I'll have to carry $20,000 in cash in my backpack and bring it around with me everywhere I go.

    I'll let you guys know how the trip turns out!
     

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