Awkward hospital stories

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Chama
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As I lay here for observation for the night in my hospital room, I can’t help but think of the odds of all the nurses that work here, my ex of 7 years ends up my nurse.

She’s been polite, professional and seems to genuinely care but still, it is slightly awkward. Also my junk was hanging out briefly on the stretcher.

I can’t help but think this probsbly pales in comparison to some of your stories. Got any good ones? And thanks Kate for the morphine, I feel fine now.
 
Not gonna lie sounds like you were molested in your story
 
Where do I begin

I was once in the ICU after an alcohol withdrawal seizure and when I woke up I was still hallucinating and thought I had been taken to some underground chop shop where they were gonna remove my organs to sell. I was, uh, uncooperative with the nursing staff and ended up in zip ties of some sort. At some point I broke a restraint and tried triangle choking one of the nurses

Another time when my liver was failing I knew I had to hit the ER but that there'd be a long admission wait. I'd been vomiting straight blood for hours at that point so I took with me a bucket and water bottle. I strolled straight up to the front of the line, chugged the water bottle, and instantly proceeded to vomit blood into the bucket. Next thing I know I'm in a wheelchair to the ER en route to a gurney to the ICU

The thing about alcohol is that it is literally hell for an alcoholic like me
 
I was in short term stay after abdominal surgery and a nurse woke me up in the middle of the night to check my bandages and stuff. I happened to have a raging boner when I woke up and it was just right there in the open, not a care in the world. The nurse was kinda hot too, unfortunately it didn't turn out like teh porn.
 
Asked to get naked and put on a gown for throat issue. WTF?
 
I once got my infected finger lanced by a black guy with a retarded hand, it was bent backwards.

He was awesome though.
 
When I was 14, I went in for knee surgery with underwear on, woke up with it off. I understand that it probably makes sense to remove it for knee surgery, but I really wish they told me to do it myself ahead of time, and not do it themselves.
 
Told this before but here i go

I was in a hospital in russia because the nail on my big toe had gone inside the toe because i tripped and fell on street pavement.

Anyway doctor gave me nothing for the pain and i was screaming all over the place.

The nurse asks me who i want to be when i grow up

I say hockey player

"Then shut the fuck up and dont cry because hockey players dont cry"

I was 5 years old then
 
I had a female doctor check out my balls once. she was young for a doctor, only looked like 30, and was BANGING. and I don't just mean hot, for a doctor. no like legitimately 8.5/10 compared to anyone.

I was rock hard. she had me put a towel over it lol and felt up my balls with her face inches away

I've had my balls touched by a medical professional 4 times total.

2 times were females that were you wouldn't FUCKING BELIEVE hot
2 times were 60+ year old men

50/50. I'll take those odds all day long
 
Pliny Pete said:
Pics of ex?


Or your junk on a stretcher?
Click to expand...

She got me a chocolate milk from the vending machine and we chatted a bit.


revoltub said:
Not gonna lie sounds like you were molested in your story
Click to expand...

I was kind of hoping. I considered asking my new gf for some head action when we were alone in my room, I know she would have but I thought that might lead to some super embarrassing shit show.

I just checked out an hour ago. I have a morphine script and I’m out of work for 6 weeks. I can probably just go on unemployment. Sucks though because I had a trip planned for next weekend and was using some vacation time around it. I can’t get a refund from the Airbnb
 

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IloveTHIS said:
I had a female doctor check out my balls once. she was young for a doctor, only looked like 30, and was BANGING. and I don't just mean hot, for a doctor. no like legitimately 8.5/10 compared to anyone.

I was rock hard. she had me put a towel over it lol and felt up my balls with her face inches away

I've had my balls touched by a medical professional 4 times total.

2 times were females that were you wouldn't FUCKING BELIEVE hot
2 times were 60+ year old men

50/50. I'll take those odds all day long
Click to expand...
hard every time ?
mooseman17 said:
When I was 14, I went in for knee surgery with underwear on, woke up with it off. I understand that it probably makes sense to remove it for knee surgery, but I really wish they told me to do it myself ahead of time, and not do it themselves.
Click to expand...
They'll shave your pubes off too if they feel it's necessary and then write you a message about it ... on your body
 
Sort of an awkward hospital event. I was horribly sick to my stomach. I have an IBD condition so that was normal but this attack was much worse than typical. So I call an ambulance to take me to the ER. They wheel me in, and place me next to the bathroom. Not long after being there a young woman is brought in next to me. She had tried to commit suicide. It was an obvious cry for help situation as she was prepared for all the people to call about her condition. She had a list of names and numbers. I was out of it, dizzy and worn down from being ill for so long. I ended up throwing up but into the sink, which clogged. The janitor was giving me very nasty looks while cleaning said sink. I kept saying sorry. The lady next to me kept ratting numbers off to call. And about then a neighbor of mine came to see how I was doing. She had a temper. She was giving the doctors a ruff time I could hear. Next thing I knew I was released and told to go home! My time in the ER was essentially a $2000.00 potty stop.
 
I once wandered around the hospital and asked to see Dr. House. No-one had a clue who the fuck I was talking about until this nurse finally said, "Oh I hate that show."
Lol
 
I'm an RN and see embarrassing awkward shit all the time. I used to work in a post anesthesia unit and had a guy who had been stabbed and was out of the operating room in the post anesthesia floor. He had a woman beside him who had came to visit him and I assumed was his wife. Half an hour later the actual wife arrives and says "I knew this was going on" and just walks off. I didn't know whether to laugh or feel bad lmao
 
SamSchmidt said:
I once wandered around the hospital and asked to see Dr. House. No-one had a clue who the fuck I was talking about until this nurse finally said, "Oh I hate that show."
Lol
Click to expand...
Those shows are really unrealistic and give people wrong impressions of what really goes on. The most realistic show I've seen is Nurse Jackie and that includes the drug use. You'd be surprised how many Nurses and MDs are hooked on pills
 
Swoliosis said:
I'm an RN and see embarrassing awkward shit all the time. I used to work in a post anesthesia unit and had a guy who had been stabbed and was out of the operating room in the post anesthesia floor. He had a woman beside him who had came to visit him and I assumed was his wife. Half an hour later the actual wife arrives and says "I knew this was going on" and just walks off. I didn't know whether to laugh or feel bad lmao
Click to expand...
Male RN! Is it true the Filipina RN's are all nymphos!?
 
TribalDrumz said:
Male RN! Is it true the Filipina RN's are all nymphos!?
Click to expand...
Haven't had too much experience with em in that regard. I know the white ones are, my wife is a nurse and so is my ex before that. They're both coworkers if you want another awkward hospital story.
 
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