WAR AO!
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EDIT: ***SUPER IMPORTANT***READ THIS BEFORE PROCEDING IN THIS THREAD!!!!!!!!
This thread is in the archives, where it shall always remain. Many of you in future generations may be compelled to read this thread, but I cannot, in good faith, allow you to do so without understanding the situation. So, let me brief you on the characters involved. Stoutgate, as I'm gonna call it, is a convoluted labyrinth of posts, and hopefully this will help you to elucidate the gems of lulz hidden amongst what was one of the biggest shit storms of 2010.
Stout: A young lady. She is quite amicable and attractive to some men. You will, undoubtedly, see many a post referencing her five, erm, forehead. I can't really attest to the truthiness of these allegations, but, oh, well, whatever. She's like, a 3.8-4.4. I suppose by internet standards, her, well, existence, made her like a 9. She was a very popular poster on Sherdog who was liked by many due to her sharp wit, love of all things cyber-sex related, and trademark baseball bat(often used as an instrument of pleasure)
Agent Orange, A.K.A. Totus: A once beloved poster in the Sherdog Off-Topic. He is famed for his coinage of the phrase, "Soap in the peehole." Have you ever had soap in your peehole? If you have, I'm here for you, bro. If you haven't, WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU!?!?! CLEAN YOUR DICK OUT SHITFURBRAINZ!
RotundRevolver: *Insert Speculation Here* At the time of this edit, I am not sure as to the true identity of Mr. RotundRevolver. Is he really rotund? Does he really revolve? The world may never know. To avoid any future inconsistencies, I will identify him only as RR, and avoid any acknowledgement of his supposed other account names. What is definite of RotundRevolver is that he is capable of talking a lot of shit, and getting people angry.
Striker22_redo: A known and liked poster of the OT. He's good peeps. I've always liked the cut of his jib, if you know what I'm saying. I don't know what I'm saying. Fuck you man.
Chapter One: Love Blooms in the OT.
Once upon a time, in a sub-forum not so far away(really, just up the page from the Archives), there lived Agent Orange and Stout. They were both beloved posters, owning the attention of their fellows on a daily basis. Well, not much makes this story better but a love interest. Yes, Stout and Agent Orange decided to meet up in real life and give love a chance. Well, what ensued was the internet equivilant of when you first hook up with that cute cheerleader chick that you've wanted since third grade, you start flaunting your love all over the place. Dry humping against the lockers, feeding each other at lunch. That's what Stout and Agent Orange were doing. Only more old and creepy, 'cuz it was by adults on the internet. I encourage you to look through other threads that may be in here, you might find tidbits of their love scattered about. What I remember most vividly was the visitor comments on Agent Orange's profile page, wherein Stout said, "Miss you so much my love. xoxoxo," followed by, "babee... I laff you. And I want teh sex." This is kind of oodling abounded in the OT for weeks. It got really old, really quick.
Chapter 2: Heartbreak? More like heartrape...
The unthinkable happened. They broke up!!! I know what you're thinking, "An internet relationship, ends badly! How shocking" Was I right? Lol. Seriously though, It was crazy. It immediately captivated Sherdog, Bloodyfists(Lol), and Facebook(Pffft...feggitz). Rumors spread, were they going to get back together, did he dump her, did she dump him? What happened. Well, for quite a while, we heard nothing from AO on the entire debacle(Nice word). He just went on hiatus(War vocab) Most of us wanted that to be the end of that. Stout, obviously, did not. At any mention of his name, she would respond with, "Lol, fuck that freak!" or something similar. Always whetting(wetting?) our apetites for drama, but keeping the juicy bits(not the titties) all to herself.
Chapter 3: HOLY FUCK ALL HELL HAS BROKEN LOOSE!!!!!11!!!11!!!1!
It happened!!! Agent Orange had returned. He tried to be all chill about it, and just slink back into the OT like he was never gone. No such luck. As soon as Stout saw his avatar, she went to the Administrators and requested that her account be banned. Sherdog was devastated. R.I.P. Threads were made, tears were shed, grudges were revealed, the whole internet went to shit. I'll never forget, as Agent Orange said to Stout's request, "This was unnecessary." But by the time I read it, she was already banned. It was sad, and pathetic to see. What followed was even more pathetic. Agent Orange also asked to be banned. He simply said that he fucked up, he was sorry, and he would leave us be. As before, Sherdog, Bloodyfists(lol,again), and Facebook(Pfft...feggitz...again) were enthralled in this drama. No one was sure, we all wanted to help, to put this event to rest. But we were shit out of luck. The OT exploded. I think that more posts were made in roughly three days than ever before. It was crazy. Because, this is the fucking crazy part!!! STOUT RETURNED!!! After only about a day, she came back and posted in her own RIP thread. And she was letting shit fly. She claimed that Agent Orange was a freak who lied to her. He claimed to have his own place, a good job, and shit, when he was really 30-31 years old, living with his parents, working in a factory. I for one, was too confused to care. so, whatever, there we had it. Stout had returned, AO was gone, we could leave it at that, right?
Wrong. Haha, I pwnt you gnoob.
Chapter 4: Totus and RotundRevolver
Agent Orange returned with an account named Totus. There was a bit of a hullabaloo(lol) after one Wedgebuster(he's pimp, look him up) made the discovery of this Totus character's true identity. I must leave some blanks unfilled, as they are plat forum secrets, but Stout was not happy. Face to face war was waged. Eventually, the issue was addressed, and both seemingly had reached a truce. Stout began to post infrequenty, as could be expected of a ****. She was on hiatus at the time of this thread. totus, on the other hand had seemingly reached some sort of acceptance. He had apologized to us all, and we didn't really care.
All I can tell you is that RR showed up wanting to troll Revolver(Mantecabros) and then moved on to axhand1e, the most uber-chill and least cracked out alter-ego of Scott Hall(who btw is actually just a figment of HBK's senile imagination) After that he decides to call out those who will not even stand up to him. Stout and Totus. I'm not sure of Stout's opinion, but I know that Totus was here at the time, and he chose to take the high road and ignore
http://www.sherdog.net/forums/f75/attn-stout-totus-1325983/index33.htmlfor several days. All the while, RR talked enormous amounts of shit on him and his ex-girlfriend, who he apparently still cared for. And by talked shit, I mean the e-equivelant of the Cro Cop of 06. And by cared for, I mean, "Wah Wah Wah, I'm sorry pweeze luv me again!!!" "I luv u so much baby, baby baby, oooooh!" "You complete me!!!" What a ***. Well, suprise suprise, he broke down and acknowledged RR. Which I understood, or whatever, but still, he could have well, fuck, I'm not telling you. Read the thread.
Chapter 5: Orange Juiced
Totus asked to have his Agent Orange account reinstated. It was. By Ronwah, I believe. He was a newly modded bloke that likes sexing supermodels and doing UK stuff. Anyway AO came to the OT and made this thread. The best way to see what happened from there is to read the thread, but if you don't want to take the time, well, ahh, fuck you read the thread you lazy bastard.
But wait, it keeps going!!!
Chapter 6: Who the hell is Chris?
Agent Orange, in a final act of desperation, called out Striker22_redo. A friend of stout's in real life, who wanted to have carnal relations with her. He sent her images of his genitalia(like a real man) and flew her to his home city, NYC, according to Agent Orange's thread. AO also claimed that Striker22_redo, who's name he revealed as Chris, got shut down by Stout. Agent Orange then pulled out and asked the mods to delete the thread, editing it before the called out party could respond. He then got banned, again.
I hope that you have some understanding of the Stout/Agent Orange drama now, now I recommend that you read this thread for the sheer hilarity of some parts. Also, if you would like a more in-depth account, Thembb(I dunno about this guy, he's lulzy, but odd) can tell it better than I ever could:
Skip to 7:45 for cliffnotes.
(or PM a guy named Swirldog(or if you are reading this after he get's banned for whatever, his next account will be Adulterer69 or something. Just look for a rhino in a thong, he's good at that. Not putting thongs on rhinos, cliffnotes. Well, maybe both)
Yea...prolly both.
Anyway, if you are playing along at home, I have name dropped the shit out of like half the OT, and sucked a little mod dong in the process. Shame, I no haz it. Make me a lolcat, Amon.
Update, now Striker22_redo just chills like the cool peoples he is. I haven't seen Stout, but I doubt she really cares. Interestingly enough, around Halloween 2010, someone got ahold of Stout's account, and trolled the OT a li'l bit with it. It was bant after a few hours, but still, that kinda stuff doesn't happen very often. As for RR, he's pretty chill. He's a good peoples like that too. He still kicks ass every now and then, but it's usually more Jon Fitchy than 2006 Cro Coppy. On August 27'th 2010, Totus was banned, this time, probably forever.
If I'm not banned yet, try to find me in the OT, I'll be your best friend forever.
