At the gym you should never...

Use machines

 

Text message

 

take a shower.

 

I use machines sometimes--for conditioning

but yeah-- no mobile phones

no using the squat rack to do bicep curls in

no --posing in the mirrors-- put your shirt back on

 

Take naps on the bench

 

leave your pool of sweat on the bench

wipe it down

Leave weights on the floor --PUT THEM BACK-- it take 2 seconds

 

Step ups on the bench for the bench press

 

Stare at your own abs/arms/or pecs...

 

I witnessed a pose down the other day

 

-Touch or talk to a preson in the middle of a set

-Be able to talk in the middle of a set

 

Eat Crisco with a spoon.

Rub Vaseline on the barbells

Beat off while staring at yourself in the locker room mirror.

Squat in the curl rack.

 

Pick your nose and leave the booger on the seat.

Test your Liberace impression on someone.

Ask for a spotter on a set of curls.

Curl.

 

Make ridiculous noises that would be considered inappropriate in a zoo.

Lift up your shirt to show your friend or the mirror your abs.

Leave loaded barbells on the Squat Rack safety bars.

Wear boxing handwraps to lift weights.

 

wipe your nuts with your hand and then insist a woman on a treadmill smells it before wiping it on her face.

 

Thats actually a Sicilian tradition- man wipes his crotch with a handkerchief, then you put it in your jacket pocket while you dance with a lady. The pheromones drive em nuts. A woman that responds to it is sure to be hot in bed.

 

did I say anything about a hankerchief? no. That's TOTALLY different. GOD, it's like some people just don't understand me at all!

*storms off*

 

I just smell like nut sweat all the time, thats how I get chicks.

 

I didn't mean your breath.




Ba-dum-TISH !!

 

Youre just pissed because you look like this:

 

...forget to skip around the weight room singing "I set a P-R, I set a P-R" in a little girl's voice, after you deadlift, like, 675.