Anyone work in a Hedge Fund? Banking bros GTFIH.

Discussion in 'Mayberry Lounge' started by SSgt Dickweed, Aug 20, 2018.

  1. SSgt Dickweed

    SSgt Dickweed Black Belt

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    I am going to be interviewed by the CEO of a startup hedge fund after barely passing my first two interviews with HR and the CIO. It is for an Analyst job, helping traders buy and sell assets (stocks, forex, crypto).

    What can I do to be as best of a candidate as I can be? I have been researching on how Hedge Funds work, technical analyses of securities and market trends. I am in the process of writing a 3-5 page essay to gather what I have learned and thoughts on what I can offer for this role. Is it a good idea to bring this essay to the interview or is that what a dickweed does?

    I am more of a software analyst/tech support by background, although this company seems pretty keen on hiring career-shifters. And even if I don't get the job, I would like to learn as much as possible about this field to be better equipped in making investments.

    Cliffs:
    -Help Staff Sergeant get promoted to Technical Sergeant on the way to Master Sergeant
     
    Last edited: Aug 20, 2018
  2. DaleBoca

    DaleBoca Silver Belt

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    [​IMG]
     
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  3. SSgt Dickweed

    SSgt Dickweed Black Belt

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    Huh? What does that .gif mean? I am literally scheduled for next Tuesday.
     
  4. MadSquabbles500

    MadSquabbles500 Steel Belt

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    Why are you going to help cause another financial crisis on a global scale, bribe gubment to go attack another, and all those other shady things shadow banks are colloquially known for?

    Why you sell your soul for money?
     
  5. SSgt Dickweed

    SSgt Dickweed Black Belt

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    [​IMG]

    TBF, this is what I also thought hedge funds did. But upon research, they help Pension Funds increase their portfolio and mitigate risk. I don't think hedge fund people are reptilians, or if they are, someone illuminate me on this subject.

    edit- This guy basically says Hedge Funds are where Investment Bankers go to if they are actually any good because Investment Banks typically just use algorithmic trading to make money, the rest of the work is acting as a marketing agency.

     
    Last edited: Aug 20, 2018
  6. OMGstreetfight

    OMGstreetfight Fred Loya Insurance shill

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    I just trim em.
     
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  7. Satsui Ryu

    Satsui Ryu Black Belt

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    Only bring a blank notebook to the interview along with any documentation they may want. Act like you really know about hedge funds without needing a cheat sheet.

    Also good luck, hedge funds are not easy to work for, but they are very interesting in they can do a lot more unorthodox types of trades.
     
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  8. HARRISON_3

    HARRISON_3 Gold Belt

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    Good luck, sherbro.
     
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  9. rj144

    rj144 Silver Belt

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    Your first sentence says your interviewing to be CEO of a hedge fund.
     
  10. SSgt Dickweed

    SSgt Dickweed Black Belt

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    I'll say no to your well-experienced methods. Good for you to have been really committed in the past though.
     
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  11. SSgt Dickweed

    SSgt Dickweed Black Belt

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    I didn't think that people may read it that way. Changed it.
     
  12. greygoose

    greygoose Brown Belt

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    The first thing you want to do, is make sure you speak to a man. That should take care of everything else.
     
  13. HIMBOB

    HIMBOB Steel Belt

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    Id think data analysis would be what they are looking for. But just guessing really. Reread the add.
    What are the particular skills you bring to the table? Anyone can say they will work hard.
    Do you have an actively managed portfolio that has returned well above the market?


    Hedge funds are good and bad like any company. They do encourage management of companies to prioritise short term gain over long term interests of the company. But they also give investors some protection in both up and down markets. Well not protection but their returns aren't tied to capital markets so provide a diversifier affect.
     
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  14. aerius

    aerius Black Belt

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    SSgt Dickweed likes this.
  15. MadSquabbles500

    MadSquabbles500 Steel Belt

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    yes, I pretty sure now that is how all hedge funds big wigs made all that money, by helping retirees, and mitigating risk

    <Dany07> <Dany07> <Dany07>

    I just fucking with you dude, this the berry

    Hedge Funds, Private Equity, I-banks to me are really all just the same thing. There is less difference between them than say I-banks, and retail banks.
     
  16. therealdope

    therealdope Titanium Belt

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    Good for you. The first step in getting help is declaring your utter ignorance.
     
  17. Tycho Brah

    Tycho Brah Zero Shift Belt Platinum Member

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  18. HARRISON_3

    HARRISON_3 Gold Belt

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    Just busting your balls, homie.

    I'm sure you'll do fine.
     
  19. MadSquabbles500

    MadSquabbles500 Steel Belt

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    Or these trades can describe as involving a lot more of your friends so you can move around more money, thereby give yourself more money. Of course everyone at that rung of the socio-economic ladder, has a huge ego, and will want certain demands/stipulations met, and making the whole thing rather "complex".
     
  20. aerius

    aerius Black Belt

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    Because it's not a "hedge funds for dummies" book. It's technical in nature and covers the structure & math behind a lot of the finance products that hedge funds use to hedge their positions. For instance, if you don't understand why the natural state of a futures market is backwardation (yes, the math proves this), you have no business being in a hedge fund that's dicking around in the futures markets.
     

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