Relationship Anyone else failed at real life relationships?

SteveColdStone said:
I cut a lot of people out of my life in my teens. A lot of my current friends are people who I could easily never talk to ever again. I have dogs, my mother, friends to mess around with (nothing deep there) and I have a nice lady friend who I have a true connection with. It works well enough for me. I’d like to have true friends but to be true friends with somebody you have to want to share things with them and you have to trust them. I do not trust these people and I have no plans to share things with them. Maybe one day in another place. I do love companionship and talking but I am more than happy to spend time alone.
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See you are part of the problem bud..you are basically saying your friendships are fake and as such you must be acting fake when in their company
 
Parmenides said:
See you are part of the problem bud..you are basically saying your friendships are fake and as such you must be acting fake when in their company
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M80, what are you doing in Mayberry? :D This may be the first time I've seen you in here.
Not that I don't like it obviously.
 
Parmenides said:
There is a soft side to parm honey..and lets face it OT is as dead as it gets
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Yeah I get that.
Thanks for honey and not ma'am, a woman called me miss the other day and I could have hugged her if it weren't for all this Covid bollocks.
 
fingercuffs said:
Yeah I get that.
Thanks for honey and not ma'am, a woman called me miss the other day and I could have hugged her if it weren't for all this Covid bollocks.
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Dont let this invisible fucker hold you from showing love where its due
 
Parmenides said:
See you are part of the problem bud..you are basically saying your friendships are fake and as such you must be acting fake when in their company
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Yeah I do have to be fake to an extent, but I have quite a complicated life and I’m not willing to share it with these people. I just see most of these people as people who I can pass the time with. If I thought they’d be good candidates for true friendship then I would do what I could to pursue that. When I move away and start over I hope i won’t have to keep my guard up as much.
 
fingercuffs said:
I know I have Friends who I stay in touch with from England and Virginia on Facebook or FaceTime or whatever but yeah like I said sometimes we don’t chat for a month or so but just pick up where we left off when we chat. When I was back living in the UK he dropped everything for hours to come as he saw it rescue me, and given the opportunity I would do exactly the same. When it’s effortless friendship, it’s good friendship that lasts I think. We fell out for a while like 12 years ago but he picked the phone up after a while and we were all good again.

I hope you have someone like that. I thought I had someone else like that till he fucked up a couple of weeks ago and I’m a bit wary now
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Yeah I have a couple of friendships like that but they’re purely online. We could go forever without talking but as soon as we do talk everything is cool and we can share anything. Those friendships are definitely the ones that can stand the test of time.
 
Parmenides said:
There is a soft side to parm honey..and lets face it OT is as dead as it gets
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I’m new here, what’s the difference between Mayberry and Off Topic???
I checked it out and most of the threads looked super lame!
I noticed that I cannot post there, but to be honest, I wouldn’t even bother if I could.
 
bunch of boohoo sad sacks with pissy panst ITT
wahhh people are so mlean and bad wahhhhh
 
NoGoodNamesLeft said:
bunch of boohoo sad sacks with pissy panst ITT
wahhh people are so mlean and bad wahhhhh
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And yet you thought they were worthy of response....Do you need a hug??? Maybe this will cheer you up...

iu


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iu
 
I don’t have a huge family, but I have a huge friend group. Childhood friendships over 40 years, High School friends over 30 years, College friends, several different work friends, and my town friends. I have an incredible life because of the different interactions with the different groups. My nuclear family is great, and my brother and his family are close to us. I’m social by nature and need social interaction....on weekends. During the week I focus on the nuclear and myself. I realize some people do not need friends, are introverts, non trusting etc....That’s not me though. COVID was tough for me.
 
To address OP, I think most people have VERY superficial levels of relationships, even relationships that have spanned decades. If you took drinking and going out to eat, and general familiarity/comfort out of the equation, most people's social circles would pucker quicker than Altar boy's asshole in the Vatican City. It's easy to have friends when things are going well for you and it's easy from an effort standpoint, but once people have to start making effort or various other sacrifices I think most people would be shocked at how quickly their relationships fall to the wayside. Truth be told, alot of people are going to be quite lonely as the Millennials and younger get older, since the effort they put into their friendships and other relationships largely involves no greater effort than commenting on each others' social media accounts. To have good relationships, you have to make big efforts, but at the same time, other people need to make effort with you too. And it's OK to require this effort from other people. I'm not talking about sacrificing your whole self, but effort is needed for good relationships, just like anything else worthwhile.
 
Unflushable Turd said:
I’m new here, what’s the difference between Mayberry and Off Topic???
I checked it out and most of the threads looked super lame!
I noticed that I cannot post there, but to be honest, I wouldn’t even bother if I could.
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OT is where real men hang..mayberry is for sissies
 
Welp I didn't talk to my family for nearly a decade. Tried again about 5 years ago, and won't be trying ever again. Divorced, and don't see my current GF often enough to tell her I'm breaking up with her because she never spends time with me and treats me like the lowest priority in her life.


<2>
 
fingercuffs said:
Yeah I get that.
Thanks for honey and not ma'am, a woman called me miss the other day and I could have hugged her if it weren't for all this Covid bollocks.
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Lol I called a woman ma'am once and I thought she was gonna kill me

<6>
 
A lot of my best friends are dead.
Most of the rest moved out of this area or live on the other side of the country.
This area is fucking weird now, it used to be a really cool place full of music and art.
Gentrification and the techies pretty much killed all that.
Like everywhere I used to hang out is gone.
It's fucking weird before things closed how alien things became here because of the new crowds that moved in.
Shows n concerts was all I had left really and where I saw people who weren't work friends.
Now that's all gone to shit.
Also I'm kinda weird, not like creepy weird,but my interests aren't exactly the kinds of things this new crowd is really into so I don't bother with most of them.
 
maybe give up on the selfish ego victomhood stuff and just sacrifice to make relationships work, the ideas you have in your head about whats best for you are most likely bullshit and you are destroying your life so that can lead an empty hollow existence or im totally wrong and you are doing an amazing job keep it up champ
 
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