I work with a guy that works part time in the evening at our office, that is a stay at home dad.
His wife makes 6 figures, and they have a 3 & 5 year old. The plan is that he'll go back when both kids are in school, but she's making more than he ever will, so they're just doing "what's best for business".
It was the same for us.
She had a higher paying job. So, I stayed at home. It was an economic decision.
Odd things:
- I used to walk my son in the baby bjorn when he was an infant. We'd go for long walks with the dog. One day, I passed a woman that was doing the same. She felt the need to stop and congratulate me for being such an active father. I found that odd. I had no impulse to stop her and congratulate her for being an active parent.
- The same week, I had to bring my son to the doctors for his vaccinations. When the doctor called me in, she asked the following questions:
1. How much liquid does he consume per day? - I answered.
2. How many diaper changes per day? - I answered.
3. Where is the mother? - I told her "at work". What I wanted to say was "Now, go run along ma'am and get the doctor." But, I kept my mouth shut.
- Baby groups are stressful. The moms didn't want me there. I got the sense that they wanted to have "quality mom time with other moms". Since, I have a Y Chromosome, I was given the cold shoulder. Sorry, no stories about stay at home parents hooking up.
- I tried to join a CO-OP for stay at home parents (we were living in a very blue town at the time). However, I was told that since I was a stay at home dad, my application had to be brought to a vote. I asked if the stay at home mother's had to be voted on as well. Her response was "No, just the dads; but don't worry, we have never turned a stay at home dad down." Again, I persisted, I asked why was I asked to jump through more hoops simply because of my gender? She couldn't give me an answer, so I hung up.
- As my kid aged, I loved being a stay at home dad. Once he got into his own type of reading topics, we plunged right in. Taking him to the library turned out to be quite fun. Getting him to read got me into reading more often as well. (I don't watch much TV anymore).
- I have gone back to work. However, the jobs I tend to have are more flexible for me than for my wife. Therefore, I'm the one that goes to my kid's class for "Math day", "Reading Workshop Day," "Dr. Suess Day", etc. Each time I have a "parent day" at his class, that night, my wife is quite appreciative.
- Lastly, I am sure it is a biological instinct that is hardwired in me. But, even though I was staying at home and raising my kid, I felt a strong pull to "provide food for my family." So, I got my personal training certificate. I would work very few hours a week. I literally only worked enough hours to cover the cost of groceries for the week. I literally just worked to "put food on the table." The money was not great, but it covered the "gut feeling" I had to provide food.
