another relationship thread: the distance

This is like the other relationship thread where the OP spazzed out because he moved away from his gf and he was afraid she'd cheat on him.

I'll give the same advice: Relationship is based on trust. If you trust her 100%, you guys will be fine. Also talking on the phone, skype, FB should be enough to keep your interest with each other. If you guys lose interest because you guys cant see each other, the relationship wasn't going to work out anyways.

Just go with the flow and you'll be fine. Don't force anything just so the relationship will work. Also maybe you guys can see each other every 3-4 weeks?
 
highkicknomore said:
This is like the other relationship thread where the OP spazzed out because he moved away from his gf and he was afraid she'd cheat on him.

I'll give the same advice: Relationship is based on trust. If you trust her 100%, you guys will be fine. Also talking on the phone, skype, FB should be enough to keep your interest with each other. If you guys lose interest because you guys cant see each other, the relationship wasn't going to work out anyways.

Just go with the flow and you'll be fine. Don't force anything just so the relationship will work. Also maybe you guys can see each other every 3-4 weeks?
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Cant say I've ever been really concerned this gal would cheat. It was definitely an anxiety and fear of mine, however, considering my exwife had an affair. Some insecurities are chiseled into you.
This one is really getting healed though.
 
Spoken said:
Cant say I've ever been really concerned this gal would cheat. It was definitely an anxiety and fear of mine, however, considering my exwife had an affair. Some insecurities are chiseled into you.
This one is really getting healed though.
Click to expand...

Good luck dude and I'm glad you're working out the trust issue. Being betrayed is a really shitty feeling.

But your response is good because if you trust your gf 100%, that means you'll be level headed. Just send her surprise gifts/cards/food and chat with her all and you guys will be fine.

Deep down, are you afraid that it's you that might lose interest in her?
 
highkicknomore said:
Good luck dude and I'm glad you're working out the trust issue. Being betrayed is a really shitty feeling.

But your response is good because if you trust your gf 100%, that means you'll be level headed. Just send her surprise gifts/cards/food and chat with her all and you guys will be fine.

Deep down, are you afraid that it's you that might lose interest in her?
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I don't think it's a fear or even a concern, but I think it's a possibility that is real. I mean, I've got a pretty poetic view of relationships, I have a pretty profound trust in this relationship (considering my experiences), but stuff just happens, you know? I'm just trying to make sure I have tools to assist in the success of the relationship. Not everything comes natural, you know?
 
Spoken said:
I don't think it's a fear or even a concern, but I think it's a possibility that is real. I mean, I've got a pretty poetic view of relationships, I have a pretty profound trust in this relationship (considering my experiences), but stuff just happens, you know? I'm just trying to make sure I have tools to assist in the success of the relationship. Not everything comes natural, you know?
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Yeah I understand.

When I was first seeing my gf, she lived 8 hours away from me because of school. I planned several trips there and she'd come down here when she had free time. Most of the time it was just skyping and phone. We made it through that for about 5 months and sometimes we didn't see each other for more than a month.

Best of luck brah!
 
I think there's a flipside to the long distance thing, and that is settling into the new place. From my experience, making a long distance relationship last meant that I just never really committed to the new location and didn't really make an effort because the heart was elsewhere.

Just something to look out for, if you're that sort of person.

I think Tomax already asked, but do you have an exit strategy and a timetable, or is this an indefinite, open ended situation?
 
Slick_36 said:
Don't be a dick MS. Spoken is like a top 10 maybe even a top 5 poster on this site.
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I know i'm one to talk, but why hasnt MS been banned again?
Shit is unreal.
 
The only long distance relationship I've had didn't last very long and ended horribly. So my opinion of this type of situation is not very positive.
 
MortalWombat said:
I think there's a flipside to the long distance thing, and that is settling into the new place. From my experience, making a long distance relationship last meant that I just never really committed to the new location and didn't really make an effort because the heart was elsewhere.

Just something to look out for, if you're that sort of person.

I think Tomax already asked, but do you have an exit strategy and a timetable, or is this an indefinite, open ended situation?
Click to expand...

I've noticed this in past relationships. Either I get unsettled in a place because i'm mentally somewhere else, or I get used to living without the gal because I'm focused on being in that community. What's nice this time, however, is that the GF is from this city; I think it's all about not compartmentalizing. So I hang out a lot with her family, her friends, and when she visits she'll hang with mine.

But we do have a time line... We know when this will be done. That is REALLY helpful.
 
lady just emailed me... apparently her boss told her to take Monday off and offered her half a plane ticket. So she's coming this weekend :)
 
IN MO WAYS THAN ONE AMIRAAAAAAAAAAAAIIIII

Flying out is a big matzo ball. Don't go breakin' her heart, Elton John.
 
From experience, shit never works...Even if both of you are committed.
 
Fine, give me your gf's name and number and I'll, uh, check up on her when I'm back in the city in a week or so.
 
Spoken said:
So I've been seeing the same gal now for 10 months. Good relationship, everything I'd want in a lady-friend for the most part. We're really committed to our future and making it work. We met in BC but I was always planning on moving to Minnesota to transfer grad programs, so I left BC 3 weeks ago. The ironic thing is that she's from minnesota... so that's kind of cool.

What I've been pondering is this: what keeps the relationship alive from a distance? We're not in each other's daily lives anymore, we don't have the same friends right now, and there isn't sexual engagement to help keep the spark alive.
I'm not concerned with cheating or anything like that... I'm just a little concerned that after a certain amount of time, I'll just kind of get used to not having her around. I'll make new habits without her.
Any advice on how to keep my head in the game?
Click to expand...

Distance does work, if you are willing to the work into it.
 
Post pics so we can tell you if it's worth it.
 
Tomax said:
Fine, give me your gf's name and number and I'll, uh, check up on her when I'm back in the city in a week or so.
Click to expand...

coming right up.

but in all seriousness: that insurance thing worked out well. Insurance low balled them a price, but after 3 adds for similar cars, they threw on a few extra hundred bucks. Good stuff.
 
i have no advice for you Spoken but I wish you the best and hope it all works out for you.
 
Spoken said:
coming right up.

but in all seriousness: that insurance thing worked out well. Insurance low balled them a price, but after 3 adds for similar cars, they threw on a few extra hundred bucks. Good stuff.
Click to expand...

Glad to hear. Chalk one up for the Mayberry.
 
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