Another Racist Editorial-- no, not Breitbart or the Gateway Pundit

[Madmick]

Because we still have too many posters who buy into the lie that racism remains more concentrated or more socially accepted on just the one side. Things changed.

12 Types of White People I’d Like to Call the Cops On

I thought “BBQ Becky” would have been enough—a white woman who used her white powers to call the cops on some charcoal-loving Black folks in Oakland, California. Permit Patty—who threatened the cops on an eight-year-old Black girl for selling water a month later seemed to be stretching it. But on Monday, we got Coupon Carl, who called the police on a Black woman trying to use a valid manufacturer’s coupon in a store. And just yesterday in Canada was “Captain Flip Flop,” a white man who blocked a person of colour from leaving a grocery store after accusing him of being an “illegal alien.”

Listen, I doubt that any of these folks called the cops for reasons having to do with genuine fear or alarm. They just felt uncomfortable. Not the dreadful kinda discomfort that comes from fearing cops, but the kind of “uncomfortable” that comes with a broken air conditioner. Maybe they have an infestation of “different” they can’t correct, so they’ll call their landlords (police) to fix the problem (us). Because after all, it’s in the contract.

I can’t ever remember calling the police. Regardless of the ever-increasing evidence of police interactions going wrong, much of my life has been rooted in a deep distrust for officers—being racially profiled and seeing Black lives not matter. Sure, I think good police do their jobs well, but I’m totally cool with not turning to the institution for my every need.

But I want to pretend that I could. I want to know that I could call on 1-800-landlord-care and get these police on the next white person that makes me annoyed or uncomfortable, too. So, here’s the short list of the white people that make me wanna call the police.

Elaborate greeting white people
You’re Amy Adams in The Arrival , that linguist recruited by white folks to communicate with the alien lifeform (Black folks). Instead of a normal greeting, you gotta be all extra and go for the fist bump, closed-fist high-five, pound, dap, or Hezbollah fist jab in conservative circles —followed by “word,” “yo,” “wuz up,” “eh mon”...I’m not reciprocating this foolishness. I’m calling the police.

Militant vegan white people
You burst a vessel when your favourite gluten-free backey admits they’ve been using wheat. You’re the derelict that looks to annoy me with your pretentious ass diet of seventeen chick peas and a tablespoon of Aquafina water. Don’t come to my visible space and compare another juicy and succulent pig to a former slave in chains. Just go away, grab that homemade trail-mix, go for a hike, hit up that Kanye West concert and let me enjoy my meat.

Sorry, I mistook you for another Black person, white people

Some of you white people are unwilling or unable to find any distinction with Black people’s faces. You just see Black with our “nappy” hair, our complexions, beards, and the “different” in that doesn’t register. This would explain why some of you have compared me to 50 Cent at one point. It would also explain why, as of last week, I was mistaken AGAIN for the one out of three other Black guys in my progressive office of dots in a white hail storm. (full disclose : I did speak to HR and they do seem to be taking the matter seriously.) But regardless, if you’re a white person and you believe some random ass Black person looks like another random ass Black person you’ve never really met, keep your thoughts to yourself...

Trump voting white people
Self-explanatory.

It goes on. Even reading this as a piece of Onion satire, where he is building the rhetoric of his article to mirror the hysterics of the people who mistakenly report crimes that aren't crimes, breaks down when we get to this last part. I'm not talking about the fact a professional writer doesn't know the difference between "disclose" and "disclosure".

He appears serious when he says that he literally reported a fellow employee to HR for mistaking him for another black employee in what is apparently a large office where there might not be a great deal of interaction. So, when we get to the final paragraph, and he tries to present this article as a trolltrap, one of my favorite tactics, it comes off as the only dishonest portion of the article:

People who get offended by articles like this
This intentional act of making you—white people—feel a certain way isn’t rooted in vengeance or hatred. The goal isn’t to confront every white person or make Magical Negro efforts to convince outright racists that we’re more than their prejudices. Nope. The goal is to bring out that implicit bias that comes through your guttural reaction. By being unapologetically blunt, the offended like yourselves come home to roost as the intended, (actual) snowflakey, targets that you are. If you feel a ways, good. That’s the point. Now hit that backspace.

So is that why you reported your co-worker/superior to HR, too? Did you forget to inform us in this paragraph that you made that up as part of the article?

Not that it would matter. He overlooked that the thesis of this article as explained in the final paragraph is that we whites need things "brownsplained" to us. I'm going to venture the guess that "mansplaining" isn't too popular in a progressive sea of dots. Yet his hypocrisy is distilled most purely in his weakest attempt at irony:

The profilers
You people make it seem so fun. I’ve seen that twinkle in your racist eye when you deny someone a loan. That glee in your strut when you follow me in a department store, asking me every few minutes if I’d like some assistance for the umpteenth time. You know I don’t. This masked decorum and performative niceness poorly hides that implicit bias running through your veins. You’re not fooling anybody.

This very article has profiled an entire race as its target audience: read as satire or seriously. Neither interpretation spares his hypocrisy. By "trolling" this race he has profiled this race.

It's an editorial, but it's no less revealing than some of those Breitbart or other "fringe right" editorials. It's racism wrapped up in partisan platitudes.

 

[Renard]

Oh boy, I remember when VICE actually had credibility. I love that video in the middle of the article about the "people of colour" taking a vacation away from white people in a no-whites allowed resort.

 

[nostradumbass]

Vice

.

 

[method115]

It’s amazing to watch how ok it is to be racist against whites these days. I grew up dealing with a lot of racism got in over 10 fights because of it as a kid. Good luck to white people you better shut this shit down before it gets out of hand is all I can say.

 

[sangreporsangre]

Who needs Russian troll farms when you have this clickbait media driving polarization more effectively that Vladdy ever could? I don't think that the culture (such as it is) will ever recover from this era.

 

[KILL KILL]

Vice has definitely jumped the shark. They used to be really good. They had these mini documentaries that were awesome. They covered events in Syria extremely well also.

Look how far they've fallen lol.

 

[Seano]

It’s amazing to watch how ok it is to be racist against whites these days. I grew up dealing with a lot of racism got in over 10 fights because of it as a kid. Good luck to white people you better shut this shit down before it gets out of hand is all I can say.

Its white people who promote it. Thats the problem.

Low testosterone. Sad.

 

[lifelessheap]

Leftists are so openly racist, and they defend their racism so well. Because it is okay in their world to hate white people.

The mental programming from universities worked so fast.

 

[Torrid]

It’s amazing to watch how ok it is to be racist against whites these days. I grew up dealing with a lot of racism got in over 10 fights because of it as a kid. Good luck to white people you better shut this shit down before it gets out of hand is all I can say.

...huh?

Honest question - what is there to 'shut down'? It's an opinion piece. A shitty, poorly written, unfunny opinion piece, but still just that.

You have other people out there reposting fake crime statistics like they're real; is that better or worse than an opinion article? Both are pretty bad, one masquerades as facts and the other as opinion though.

I don't mean to pick on you, you're just the first to say it. What do we 'shut down'? All articles we don't like, because that's... not the world I want to live in. I don't like the one we have right now with all the purposefully divisive clickbait, but I really don't want to advocate that kind of censorship either.

Also just reiterating what's been said: it's sad how much VICE sucks now.

EDIT: Just adding some more open pondering: your first line about how it sucks how it's okay to be openly racist against white people. Yeah, I mean, I'm white and don't really feel it, but the shift in writing is pretty apparent.

The thing is though, we can see literal evidence of systemic racism ( which I would actually argue is mostly systemic classism because it's more poor people that are getting the shit end costantly, but that's for another thread y'know), of planting evidence on blacks still - Dredd posted an article not long ago.

The weird thing is, the current balancing act just seems like it's trying to build up a lot of white vitriol to even it out. Instead of having less division and what not, to make it fair (poor word choice but the best I have rn), it's really just allowing more racism. That's clearly a destructive thought process, but it's what seems to be flavor of the month currently.

 

[GOATER]

 

[TyranicalTrump]

Its white people who promote it. Thats the problem.

Low testosterone. Sad.

between liberal whites allowing this race shit, feminist helping to lower the birthrates, and white politicians flooding the country with latinos, white peoples days are numbered, suppose to be below 50% in population by 2045. Im glad I wont be alive to see the country taken over by third world illegals and immigrants. what happens when the average IQ goes from 100+ to 85 to 90.

 

[bushman505]

Stupid article written by a stupid racist person. Oh well.

 

[Wet Blanket]

Oh what will ever become of the oppressed white people? Will they ever get a fair chance? <Lmaoo>

 

[Lord_Impaler]

Just a run of the mill anti-white article, there are many.

Not shocking when we live in a world where criticism of whites is called critical race theory, and criticism of any other race is called racism.

 

[2arctanx]

when did vice turn into shit?

 

[cincymma79]

Vice has definitely jumped the shark. They used to be really good. They had these mini documentaries that were awesome. They covered events in Syria extremely well also.

Look how far they've fallen lol.

Same with young Turks and cnn. I used to watch them all but they’re terrible

 

[Shoemaker]

Same with young Turks and cnn. I used to watch them all but they’re terrible

I've all but stopped watching the news. They're all vying for advertising dollars, which means they're going to peddle whatever they can to attract eyes. And that's not necessarily going to be "the news."

Give me a white page with black text. If there's a video, give me the unedited original without commentary. I'll pay (and do) a premium for that.

 

[cincymma79]

I've all but stopped watching the news. They're all vying for advertising dollars, which means they're going to peddle whatever they can to attract eyes. And that's not necessarily going to be "the news."

Give me a white page with black text. If there's a video, give me the unedited original without commentary. I'll pay (and do) a premium for that.

Stopped watching fox completely during Obama’s term and now and the others since trump got it. It’s all click bait

 

[Seano]

He really does look like Sugar Ray.

 

[Satsui Ryu]

Just a run of the mill anti-white article, there are many.

Not shocking when we live in a world where criticism of whites is called critical race theory, and criticism of any other race is called racism.

Except most on the left would dismiss this as someone basically being troll. You see how many people here are defending the article. All of 0. You take an article that is the equivalent of this criticizing minorities and the right wing folks fucking run with it.

Shit like this is just bait for the large group on the internet who play victim and spend their time looking for ways that they are being victimized.