GBYorba: To say that you don't deserve the stripes on your belt is to disrespect your instructor's judgment. At your level, you have no clue or perspective regarding how good or bad you really are. It's like asking a 2nd grader to evaluate what level his math abilities are at.
There's a huge difference between "being true to yourself" and publicly seeking affirmation because of self-esteem issues. The only reason that you're on here posting what you're posting is because of self-esteem. You're afraid that you're not that good. You're afraid that you may be training with the wrong team. You're afraid that you don't deserve your rank.
You're posting on here seeking posts from people reassuring you that you have made the right choices. Quite frankly, this is very immature and reflects poorly on you, your instructor, and your school.
I am not associated with Gracie Barra and have no vested interest in what you say. Go ahead and post whatever you want in this public forum. However, I'm advising you to keep in mind what kind of image you're painting of your school, instructor and teammates.