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A Psychological Question

Discussion in 'Mayberry Lounge' started by MikeHolmes, Aug 6, 2016.

  1. MikeHolmes Green Belt

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    Thanks again for your time and advice. I find this board extremely helpful and therapeutic at times.

    Anyways, I find that I get really frustrated with people who are inconsistent with their words and actions. I'm fairly sensitive to noticing this and seeking it out, but it doesn't necessarily make the inconsistencies any less real.

    For instance, I came off a breakup where I noticed this seemingly intelligent woman was inconsistent in what she said and did. She even admitted early on in the relationship that she was like that, since I talked to her about disliking that inconsistency pattern in people. Why would you admit you're inconsistent?

    Examples: (There's a lot of them, but I don't remember or won't waste too much space)
    -When we were talking, she didn't want me to view her as a sexual object. Yet, she wore clothes showing cleavage on our first date, talked about her sexual ability, and had butt sechs and was willing to let me do "whatever you want to do to me."
    -She talked about not wanting a baby, but wanted a baby weeks later when her friend had one.
    -While talking about being a teacher for autistic children, she said there was nothing wrong with them and she got so much fulfillment out of her job. Yet, she said she liked hard challenges, So, like, which is it? Your autistic kids are really hard to work with because there's something with them or there's nothing wrong with them and you're not challenging yourself as much as you'd like to admit?
    -She said she was a positive thinker, but was more externally negative than I was. Complained about me being so nice to her and worried about me sexualizing her (negative thoughts), but broke it off the moment I was mean to her.

    I recently started dating another woman who I am noticing the same patterns. I have a friend who does the same shit(wanted Jalen Ramsey all draft but then sucked off the Ezekiel Elliot pick). What gies?
     
  2. BisexualMMA Don't Put My Name in the Name of Steroids!

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    What you are describing sounds like typical female inconsistency to me...

    Yep. I'm not a slut, oh yes I am, and now I'm not and now I am. I'm so classy, oh wait I'm so dirty... I'm both. I'm every woman, it's all in me...

    Meh, chicks go cuckoo when babies show up. I guess be glad she broke it off if this was anything more than a passing fancy.

    This one sounds kind of like you're looking for issues in what she said. Enjoying challenges and working with autistic kids (and saying there's nothing wrong and her job is fulfilling) isn't really inconsistent.

    Pretty normal chick stuff. I'm guessing it wasn't going to work out anyway and she'd been thinking so too if she broke it off at the first sign of conflict.
     
  3. HelloJapan Talking loud and saying nothing. Platinum Member

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    You're very well spoken...maybe try men?
     
  4. OverCoronavirus Pressure Mayberry = War Room, WR = OT. Shit. Banned

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    Women are inconsistent.
    That's it.
    I mean, so are men, but women are REALLY inconsistent, flighty, whatever you want to call it.

    They think they know what they want, kind of, pretty much exactly, since they were young. They have these ridiculous, idealized, Disney-fed ideas about perfect relationships without quarrel, where issues are easily resolved and men know how to listen to them.
    In reality, when they SAY they want something, they may only be saying it, when it's not what they want, what they really really want.
    So you say, "Tell me what you want, what you r-- ah, fuck it."

    Women are scatterbrained, emotionally driven. But those emotions are a never ending roller coaster ride, up and down the hormone hills. They insist you anticipate their desires, but their desires can go from "Let's do something!" to "I need some space" in a New York minute.

    Just be glad you get to fuck one every now and then.
     
  5. MikeHolmes Green Belt

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    I get along much better with women. Men have egos and overrate themselves big time.
     
  6. HUNTERMANIA Always Striving.

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    Everyone is inconsistent.
     
  7. MikeHolmes Green Belt

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    The way I worded it, yes, I see your interpretation exactly. I'm not describing it well, but there was a lot of inconsistencies relative to how she portrayed herself and her job versus her actions and different words.

    "Meh, chicks go cuckoo when babies show up. I guess be glad she broke it off if this was anything more than a passing fancy."

    This was different. She's had multiple friends have babies this year. She had said that she didn't like babies despite that. Then, the one friend has a baby, and she wants one? And considering I told her I had a vasectomy? Yeah, the relationship wasn't likely going to workout, but she was definitely inconsistent on this one.
     
  8. MikeHolmes Green Belt

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    I do believe that. But in the sense that you can contradict the very words you say within the same day? Don't we have some deep-seated beliefs? If not, aren't we morons who don't stand for anything?
     
  9. HUNTERMANIA Always Striving.

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    You can try to be consistent. Pick some principles. Follow God.

    If not, then, yes to the part in bold. Even if we do stand for something... we're all idiots. People are limited.
     
  10. MikeHolmes Green Belt

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    It's funny how you're saying things I agree with, yet they aren't helping me understand why people are inconsistent. Haha. Perhaps there's an inconsistency I'm demonstrating right now. Well played.

    But I don't like to answer everything with "people are idiots." There has to be something deeper....sometimes.
     
  11. HUNTERMANIA Always Striving.

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    Yes, there is something deeper. There are principles and there is God. If we just live as who we 'are' - what has that been informed by? MAYBE some principles, or things we identified as ourselves because we liked the feeling those things gave us enough times, or the idea of those things (rare) appealed to us.... but mainly, people act on what makes them feel good or 'right' in the moment, and that's always fluctuating, unless it's nailed to something outside of ourselves, because we're always fluctuating.
     
  12. Turtlejuice Free Wang Banned

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    You dislike inconsistency, but persued a relationship with a woman you know is inconsistent?
     
  13. Bullitt68 Senior Moderator Staff Member Senior Moderator

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    This whole movie is great and I highly recommend people watch the whole thing (it's all on Youtube and it's good quality) but this made me think in particular of Chris Cooper in Interstate 60:

     
  14. michal001 Brown Belt

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    Lmao. All people have substantial internal and external inconsistencies. All people. Deal with it.
     
  15. Lovestorm The Force Is Strong With This Avatar Platinum Member

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    Female duality ftw
     
  16. MikeHolmes Green Belt

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    We got along great in person; the inconsistencies came about through text mostly. And what can I say? I like pussy and am consistent about that.
     
  17. NHB7 Steel Belt

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    First I see you are still obsessing over the special ed teacher lady as this is like your third thread about her even though you were only "together" for two months and from the sounds of it, only you thought you two were together.

    Secondly, whip out your fine tooth comb and you will easily find that all people have inconsistencies from time to time if not often. Ironically, the children on the spectrum that your "ex" worked with, particularly the ones with Aspergers, are probably the most consistent people on the planet.

    The funny thing is, people who are inflexibly consistent suffer socially and in relationships....just like you TS.
     
  18. NHB7 Steel Belt

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    Also, sometimes certain values supersede other values. For example, I hate moving (packing boxes, loading trucks). I like friendship. So I don't mind helping a friend move. He might ask "Is this okay?" I might respond, "Sure, I'm having a good time."

    If he were you, he'd say "INCONSITENT! I hate inconsistency!!! You said you don't like moving, but you just fucking said you're enjoying it!!"
     
  19. j123 Pro Sherdogger 500-0-1

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    Women being women.
    Don't attempt to make something out the logical points of the conversation. Everything is emotional and spontaneous with broads.
     
  20. lakersfan45 That's sardo! No mr, accent on the do!

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    A lot of people are saying women but it's Everyone.

    Also I think a lot of what ur describing is idealism vs reality. People mix the two up all the times and many times they contradict
     

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