A filmmaker's guide to doing everything wrong

I think Prometheus could be looked at for bad screenplay and editing.
The overarching story is amazing and full of depth and potential. The look, design, filming, and atmosphere are also excellent.

The way the scenes, characters and dialogue unfold to tell the story are so sloppy and incoherent, it sucks the life out of an otherwise phenomenal movie.
An otherwise great film until the third act when the accumulation of bad story choices sends it off the rails.
 


That fucking movie.

I remember one line of Hopkin’s narration:

“They say that the only thing that could conquer Alexander were Hephastion’s (Jared Leto’s character) thighs”.

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I just looked at my friends and said “I sure hope he’s referring to that dude’s skills as a grappler”.

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But weak script can never be a good movie.
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Jack reacher was not a good movie, and the other two didn't have weak scripts
 
This is about films that get so many things wrong that you're mildly-to- greatly astounded by the incompetence.

I suppose another entry category could be "films that were calculated to be huge and failed spectacularly", like Ishtar.
King Arthur: Legend of the Sword


What a complete shitfest.
 
An otherwise great film until the third act when the accumulation of bad story choices sends it off the rails.

Honestly the same with Covenant, I mean I think Scott today isn't as perfectionist a director as he was in 79 however large his budgets have become but he's still a very competent one, its generally a well filmed and acted movie let down by cluttered and confused script.

The art of having a seriously lean and focus script really does seem to be dying in Hollywood, especially when it comes to sequels of longtime franchises like Starwars, Trek, Alien, Terminator, etc so much so the scripting reads like it was done in a midnight brainstorming session with a mountain of cocaine in the middle of the table. I mean perhaps not totally a bad thing in terms of ideas but so totally lacking in time and effort spent forming them into decent stories.
 
Innovative Modern Film Hacks:


1. Let (any/all) investors submit parts for your movie they think might sound cool! Then actually write them into the shooting screenplay! Why not (I mean, they payed up already)!

2. Have a giant, loose, non-dedicated committee generate the entire screenplay instead of an actual proven writer or small team of anyone with talent/experience!

3. Give product placement the starring roles in the film!

4. Cast your ugly timid fuccboy nephews and chubby rat-looking nieces for the cool main roles! It will totally bring up their confidence! The audience literally cannot notice!

5. Use wires and CG instead of stuntmen or athletic (appropriate) actors! Take it really easy on the actors and don't train/prepare them beforehand because once again-- no one will notice!

6. The best movies play it safe and don't offend anyone. That's why it's best not to have an actual message these days, it just gets in the way of the uninspiration

7. Copy other crappy movies and water it down yet even further. It's a numbers game, there's no actual such thing as quality or an actual "good movie", I promise you
 
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The new star wars films are pretty trash
 
The Fifth Wave. Concept was good, but storyline got to shit when they decided to build an army of kids. Wtf!
 
Innovative Modern Film Hacks:


1. Let (any/all) investors submit parts for your movie they think might sound cool! Then actually write them into the shooting screenplay! Why not (I mean, they payed up already)!

2. Have a giant, loose, non-dedicated committee generate the entire screenplay instead of an actual proven writer or small team of anyone with talent/experience!

3. Give product placement the starring roles in the film!

4. Cast your ugly timid fuccboy nephews and chubby rat-looking nieces for the cool main roles! It will totally bring up their confidence! The audience literally cannot notice!

5. Use wires and CG instead of stuntmen or athletic (appropriate) actors! Take it really easy on the actors and don't train/prepare them beforehand because once again-- no one will notice!

6. The best movies play it safe and don't offend anyone. That's why it's best not to have an actual message these days, it just gets in the way of the uninspiration

7. Copy other crappy movies and water it down yet even further. It's a numbers game, there's no actual such thing as quality or an actual "good movie", I promise you
The new Prime Directive:
If it's a recognizable name-property, it gets made ahead of anything that smacks of originality
 
Anyone remember this fuckin' Oscar bait turd:



I swear, it's hard to make out the difference in Sean Penn's performance in this and "I Am Sam"


Jesus that was a boring movie.

I was bitterly disappointed.
 
Jack reacher was not a good movie, and the other two didn't have weak scripts
Cognitive dissonance is a phrase I just learned myself. The point being a film is beyond its script in ways you can't yet admit. Or tell. Just kidding.

I like those movies too. I also like the STAR WARS, which is about a boy with dad problems and mythical creatures. Kisses his sister at one point. Don't discount the ballet that films are. Occasionally they elevate absolutely mediocre material and it's pretty cool.
 
Battlefield Earth.
A vanity project, with beyond over the top scenery chewing by Travolta.
"Crap ceiling!"
The dialogue is ridiculous, the cinematography is sometimes bizarre, the story is incredibly stupid and has a glaring plot hole...

So bad it's a fun watch.
 
I think Rampage may actually be a modern contender, i think it might be the most stupid, predictable film I've seen in years.

It seems like every single scene you can predict exactly what will come out of the characters mouths. Every charecter is a cliche, the rock is the strong silent ex military guy who only really trust animals, his eventual sidekick is the strong black woman who he doesnt trust at first....and the interactions with the gorrila are so corny.

I just see this film as beyond bad.
 
A filmmaker's guide to doing everything wrong... with sequels.

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