Media Sherdoggers watching UFC

I got about 30 seconds in.

I sometimes wish I was a Roman emporer that could have people thrown to the lions and stuff like that... I'd have those two thrown to the lions.
 
Well they aren't entirely wrong.

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These ducking puny pencil necks aren’t the 285 lb 6’3” 12% body fat sherbros that I am,know,and love
 
I got about 30 seconds in.

I sometimes wish I was a Roman emporer that could have people thrown to the lions and stuff like that... I'd have those two thrown to the lions.

Poor lions, cheetos and mountain dew are terrible for them.
 
Fill the room with uppercuts.
 
Does every skinny dork shergogger have a fat friend? Kinda like how every hot chick has a fat girl friend.
 
every time there's a UFC event I invite the boys over (no women allowed) to the ol' man cave & we have the time of our lives, better than anything you & yours have ever experienced. I have these wise words plastered above the door, & I tell ya, whenever there's a fight ending in a decision, I walk on over, not even having to say a word, where I lift one leg on a stool, crack a 30% smile & point at these words of wisdom while nodding slowly. the look on the faces of my bros just exude admiration & respect, they know I'm truly dedicated to the sport, looking so glorious with my mullet-hawk, barbed wired skull tattoos & Affliction tee bedazzled with rhinestones & electric neon foil. they know I am gloriously wise, & how they wish they could be just like me........... playing with their toes & shit.

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"Alexa, Play Linkin Park!"
<{outtahere}>
 
At first it seemed like maybe it would be funny. Spoiler alert: It isn't.
 
This would have been relevant 12 years ago.
 
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