What do you do when you feel like you've reached the end?

[scorpipede]

Train BJJ

I really think this is a good idea.

I'm 38 years old and I think I'm going to start training BJJ.

 

[Minnja]

I really think this is a good idea.

I'm 38 years old and I think I'm going to start training BJJ.

Do it! It will be hard but you will learn a lot, get in better shape, meet some good people (find a good gym!) and you can compete too if you want (many tournaments separate by age divisions along with weight/belt divisions).

At my gym we have some people who started training in their 30s and are regulars at the gym and even compete.

Also, the grappling forums here are pretty solid, and you can tell your bros you train teh UFC

 

[scorpipede]

Do it! It will be hard but you will learn a lot, get in better shape, meet some good people (find a good gym!) and you can compete too if you want (many tournaments separate by age divisions along with weight/belt divisions).

At my gym we have some people who started training in their 30s and are regulars at the gym and even compete.

Also, the grappling forums here are pretty solid, and you can tell your bros you train teh UFC

thanks bud.

 

[Robocok]

Like everyone else said, don't kill yourself. It can get better. Try giving back to someone who needs help. It's good for your soul and you will definitely feel better if you do it often enough.

 

[MarcoW]

It's crazy to imagine ever wanting to die regardless of how bad my life was, unless I was crazy sick and always in horrible pain with no chance of getting better.

death is so final and the universe has so much possibility.

mental illness is scary and quite difficult.

 

[Mike]

It's crazy to imagine ever wanting to die regardless of how bad my life was, unless I was crazy sick and always in horrible pain with no chance of getting better.

death is so final and the universe has so much possibility.

mental illness is scary and quite difficult.

What's really scary is you know how irrational your emotional states are. It's like being a puppet. I literally feel like I'm watching someone else pull the strings from a distance.

 

[BC]

First thing is first, it is not your fault for feeling this way and you are not alone, you never are.

Reaching out is very important and a lot of people don't like to do it for numerous reasons.

If you feel yourself getting to that point of being alone or whatever, you have to reach out to somebody. There are always people out there who care about you so never be afraid to reach out.

This goes for any of you out there who ever experience any type of depression or whatever and you feel alone, you can personally reach out to me via PM and we will talk it out, my name is Ben and I will be happy to help you get through whatever it is you are going through.

Depression is a dark dark place. I've been through some dark times in my life
and I understand what it feels like to feel hopeless and lost.

For everybody out there who is feeling lost, alone, hopeless and just stuck in that dark place, don't give up, never give in.

Life is always changing, it's never one constant thing, during the hard times you just have to keep moving forward. As bad as life seems at times, no matter how much adversity you are enduring, I promise you that there is ALWAYS a light at the end of the tunnel.

Take it one day at a time, it will get better.

 

[Bobby Boulders]

I've tried to kill myself a couple times before but I wasn't so good at it really. And now I don't even know. But it's strange to feel like you've come to the conclusion of something - or yourself I guess. And it's really strange when you have all these feelings and the person that you haven't talked to in months won't talk to you. And then you realize all the stuff people pick on you about is true. And then you stop having a job that you love. And then you're afraid of the future.

I guess I'm just wondering like when it's okay to give up and then how is it okay to give up. and when you hate yourself and you realize most people do too then why not?

But the general question is if any of you have been in a position where you felt entirely hopeless and if so what made you keep going?

You gotta keep your feet moving.

Even if you're just walking in place, even if it seems like forever. Keep your feet moving bc eventually you will take a step forward. Then hopefully the next steps aren't as difficult.

Be good to yourself, bud.

 

[fungi]

2016 almost killed me too.

My father, a healthy & happy psychologist retiring to the new cottage he had just finished building for my family started experiencing acute episodes of anxiety and illogical paranoia in Mid-Summer. He saw a therapist and started on a powerful anti-anxiety med. It was a misdiagnosis because he committed suicide a few weeks after starting the pills but had reported he wasn't suicidal before starting them, and left no note. I had booked a fight home to check on him and was 36 hours too late.

Probably a form of hard to diagnose early Alzheimer's but I'll never know because he shot himself in the head. I've had 3 uncles, a cousin, and my dad committ suicide. Could be a genetic thing. Worries me about my future a bit.

I scrubbed what was left of him off the back deck we built together, then 5 days later went under the deck to get the hose to water my mother's flowers before the funeral and had to shovel a big maggot filled puddle containing the contents of his skull that had run through the deck planks, into a bucket and bury it behind the house.

After the funeral I ignored my girlfriend who was taking a second chance with me too much as I dealt with the estate and coming back to working a 100 hour a week job. I had my grandmother's engagement ring made into a necklace to give to her for X-mas to show her I intended to propose to her in 2017 but never got the chance because she dumped me a week before. Kicker... she works on the tv show with me so I'll be seeing her too much soon and it's become clear I also need to find a new job now.

I was totally overwhelmed come Christmas - New Years up till a few days ago. Couldn't make it ten seconds without my mind going to a very dark place, grinding my teeth at night, lost 12 lbs and I'm a skinny guy. I might have killed myself if my mother and siblings weren't already grieving my dad's suicide.

Only thing that has helped is diving head first into trying to break into a new career and planning on moving to new city. You don't like your job and you think the people around you are making fun of you? It can't be worth the money so start planning your way out now. Make a budget based on your salary and see how long it will take to save up and leave, there's a tangible escape you can hold on to when feeling hopeless.

Find a new city. Very hard I know but the effort will keep you occupied and you will at least understand why things are hard. The people won't have a opinion of you so you can start fresh and you won't see the daily depressing reminders of your situation that you do now.

And talk to a shrink. It'll help.

Holy shit, man! What a family history. Dude, sorry about your relatives. Also, in your case, it might not only be genetic, but also cerebral. A suicide in the family has indescribable effect on the individual, up to some physical changes in the wiring of the brain.

Keep on fighting, keep on.

you have to keep breathing. You simply have to make that happen. One foot in front of the other. Keep blood flowing in your veins and keep that heart pumping. And after that is secured, do things like this. What you've done. Make a thread on a forum. Reach out. Look to some place else. Dig. Scratch. Make something happen wherever possible.

You fight, sometimes.

You. Fucking. Fight.

Please.

Word. TS and whoever is thinking on doing something drastic, reach out to somebody, anybody. It helps.

 

[fungi]

I'm pretty much at that point right now. I feel empty, exhausted, burned out, very little emotion other than anger and hatred and a strong overwhelming blanket sadness and hopelessness. I went to visit one of my few friends a couple of days ago and she sat there waffling away at me while her little girl ran round and round in circles in the middle of the room. I just lay there on the floor hugging her dog and my pal's voice was just a drone in the background. I felt like crying but I didn't. I feel like I'm done.

One of the reasons that everything is so hard now is the fact that I am doing everything right. I have tried it all. I have eaten healthy, focused on getting regular sleep, exercised every day, tried meds/therapy, gone off meds when they made things worse, tried to be more social, see friends, became active in jiu-jitsu, got completely sober and stayed that way, etc. No one can ever fucking tell me I haven't done everything in my power to escape this shit. Still, I spend every day hating myself and this world. When my life was fucked up, I could justify it as my mental state being the result of the shit I was doing. That's all gone now. It's just me doing everything I can to survive while the crippling depression and anxiety chip a little bit more away from the person I used to be. No joy, no happiness, no hope.

Fellows, reach out, to anyone/anything. It might help. There are no guarantees in life, but the next person/thing you reach out to may help. Or the next one after that. Keep on surviving.

 

[Wrath of Foamy]

In my experience, a difficult life isn't bad unless there are upsides. It is when you have nothing that is when you look into the future and see nothing worth obtaining, and looking around you in the present and seeing nothing but a dense grey fog, and looking in the past and seeing regrets.

I love my girlfriend but I cannot really talk to them about these things. I usually speak to my Dad and Brother when I'm feeling low.

I'm also finally getting my driving licence so I can find a driving job. Something to work towards, at least.

 

[HUNTERMANIA]

I've tried to kill myself a couple times before but I wasn't so good at it really. And now I don't even know. But it's strange to feel like you've come to the conclusion of something - or yourself I guess. And it's really strange when you have all these feelings and the person that you haven't talked to in months won't talk to you. And then you realize all the stuff people pick on you about is true. And then you stop having a job that you love. And then you're afraid of the future.

I guess I'm just wondering like when it's okay to give up and then how is it okay to give up. and when you hate yourself and you realize most people do too then why not?

But the general question is if any of you have been in a position where you felt entirely hopeless and if so what made you keep going?

I've felt this way many times, in fact, MOST of the time for like 5-6 years. I did a lot of drugs... I tried to get healthier, but every time I did I ended up being injured worse, something bad would happen, like not a little bit bad but REALLY bad. I attempted suicide many times, but I mainly lived a suicidal life, where I could have died all the time basically and I just never did, so, IDK, I kept trying and eventually things clicked and I started moving forward. It's been a lot harder since then, but whatever.

I have compassion for people that commit suicide. I'm a Christian, so, ultimately, everyone's life is God's life and self-murder is just that, murder, and we are all God's children, so, I can't say I'm 'supporting' suicide but... I basically do. Philosophically, before I became a Christian, the fundamental right every person has had to be the right to their own life and death, IMO.

Are you sure you've really given it your all? Can I help you in some way? PM me anytime

 

[Thurisaz]

But the general question is if any of you have been in a position where you felt entirely hopeless and if so what made you keep going?

No. I'm never entirely hopeless, mainly because I fully know I can and do affect my situation. If I were depressed as fuck and had time on my hands, I'd eat a bunch and go to the gym, read and rest and repeat until I got some wisdom out of it all.

 

[mushishi]

Realizing that no matter what I'm going through, it's only for a moment in time. It will pass.

And I love eating.

 

[Amerikuracana]

One of the reasons that everything is so hard now is the fact that I am doing everything right. I have tried it all. I have eaten healthy, focused on getting regular sleep, exercised every day, tried meds/therapy, gone off meds when they made things worse, tried to be more social, see friends, became active in jiu-jitsu, got completely sober and stayed that way, etc. No one can ever fucking tell me I haven't done everything in my power to escape this shit. Still, I spend every day hating myself and this world. When my life was fucked up, I could justify it as my mental state being the result of the shit I was doing. That's all gone now. It's just me doing everything I can to survive while the crippling depression and anxiety chip a little bit more away from the person I used to be. No joy, no happiness, no hope.

Kids. It means you are ready to have kids. People used to call what you're experiencing "growing up." Notice how people in pictures didn't used to look very happy? Your days of selfish happiness may be over, but that can be normal. Have a child, and live to create a happy world for them. If you give them a safe environment, they experience joy as a child, and you can catch some of their joy and excitement for life. You get happiness by giving it to them. You aren't able to gratify yourself anymore through selfish endeavors.. maybe you just grew up and weren't ready for it lol. Get married, even if it's to a big girl or somebody your childhood friends wouldn't approve of, and have a family.

 

[FyrFytr998]

I continue to become more and more jaded as I get older by what some folks consider suicide worthy. Talking about how bad it is, yet people can find the time, place, and resources to talk about it on the internet. Pretty sure there are 3rd world folks that would trade their Hell for someone else's if it meant shelter, food, electricity, etc..

Not saying there aren't folks that aren't justified in ending life on their own terms, but some people are ridiculous.

 

[scorpipede]

I continue to become more and more jaded as I get older by what some folks consider suicide worthy. Talking about how bad it is, yet people can find the time, place, and resources to talk about it on the internet. Pretty sure there are 3rd world folks that would trade their Hell for someone else's if it meant shelter, food, electricity, etc..

Not saying there aren't folks that aren't justified in ending life on their own terms, but some people are ridiculous.

wow, how long do you think it takes to type something?

people are looking for a reason to live sometimes. That's the facts of it. So you're kind of being a cunt here, right?

 

[FyrFytr998]

wow, how long do you think it takes to type something?

people are looking for a reason to live sometimes. That's the facts of it. So you're kind of being a cunt here, right?

Yeah, pretty much. When you go to a suicide attempt because some kid got mad their video game privledges got taken away. Meanwhile in Aleppo.....

 

[scorpipede]

Yeah, pretty much. When you go to a suicide attempt because some kid got mad their video game privledges got taken away. Meanwhile in Aleppo.....

how sure are you that it's the case here though?

Myself, I tend to try to not put forth something that would make the situation worse. It's kind of recent for me but it's safer.

 

[Fox by the Sea]

i love it how people itt just push out the old positivisms. they are meaningless to a person that has reached what appears to them as the end. running and eating chocolate doesn't solve shit as long as your mind holds no purpose. the west has this unnatural fear of death i cannot understand. maybe it's because i am from eastern europe where a lot of us know that life is shit and no amount of vigorous pretending otherwise will change that.

there is the concept of dignified death. one according to which life is not worth living at ANY cost. you can choose to end it, at your own will and under your own terms, in a way that preserves the value of persona dignity. there is no shame in death. it's more shameful to live out your days as a worm that only eats, shits and fucks and that's about it.