Video of me performing a new original song. Need feedback

Discussion in 'Music Discussion (BAM'S Bieberverse)' started by CrimsonFan, Oct 8, 2018.

  1. CrimsonFan

    CrimsonFan Gold Belt

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    What's up guys.


    Been a while since I've written a song or even really picked it up






    This girl I used to mess around got in this terrible wreck and didn't even recognize me when i went to see her. Which is where I was at when i started writing it but I sorta got off topic.

    I dunno tell me what you think.
     
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  2. Phr3121

    Phr3121 Black Belt Platinum Member

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    Good stuff!
    I hope your girl gets better. I would cut those long extra guitar strings before you poke your eye out.
     
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  3. Phr3121

    Phr3121 Black Belt Platinum Member

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    Kind of reminds me of a young Neil Young...
     
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  4. CrimsonFan

    CrimsonFan Gold Belt

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    Yeah I get that comparison alot.

    I love Neil so I take that as a compliment
     
  5. Headkicktoleg

    Headkicktoleg Gold Belt

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    I like the trap door.
     
  6. CrimsonFan

    CrimsonFan Gold Belt

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    At all the jokes to be made you chose that?
     
  7. Headkicktoleg

    Headkicktoleg Gold Belt

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    <AckbarTrap>door
     
  8. TheLinguist

    TheLinguist Green Belt

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    I enjoyed it, post more please
     
  9. rj144

    rj144 Red Belt

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    Not too bad, but the lyrics need to be less literal.
     
  10. CrimsonFan

    CrimsonFan Gold Belt

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    Thanks for the honest response. Honestly I was fumbling on my words and ya I should focua harder on them before being contempt.

    Thanks
     
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  11. Thread

    Thread Im Da Best Mayne

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    What type of water heater is that?
     
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  12. CrimsonFan

    CrimsonFan Gold Belt

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    Who gives a shit lol
     
  13. Tankeray

    Tankeray The Progeny of Beast of Woe

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    Man I thought that was really good, tbh


    You have a great solo sound, you don’t need a drummer or anything else

    I got a strong Jeff Buckley vibe at times- good shit

    Post more if/when you can
     
  14. CrimsonFan

    CrimsonFan Gold Belt

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    That's what I'm going for. Singer songwritters are way too often novice on their instrument. I'm the opposite, I had to learn how to sing and it's taken alot of dedication. I've been trying to be able to do it for a decade and only just now do I hear myself and like the way I sound

    Thanks for the listen man..
     
    Last edited: Oct 8, 2018
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  15. bandicoot

    bandicoot Yellow Card Yellow Card

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    I did not enjoy that. For one, the lyrics are wayyy too literal, and for two, I don't like your voice and the unneccesary inflection you impart.

    Then again, I lived with a singer songwriter for years and really can't stand listening to most people who want to be musicians. So it's probably not you.
     
  16. Winter-John

    Winter-John Green Belt

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    Heh. Me too. My buddy thought he was the next Dylan. Used to write the most horrible sad face shit. One time though he got into reggae. He grew these shitty dreadlocks, got a Jamaican t-shirt and started every conversation with yah man. I was sure it was only a matter of time before he got us beaten up. He probably would've been less offensive if he'd just covered himself in shoe polish.
     
  17. CrimsonFan

    CrimsonFan Gold Belt

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    Yea I got that bandicoot guy on ignore (from a totally different topic) so your post had me confused.

    All good, I dislike just about all the music I hear I get it. You same guys see me posting these videos. I just guage the response on new material and how to make it better. This is an honest bunch.

    Your friend sounds stupid
     
    Last edited: Oct 9, 2018 at 2:12 PM
  18. Winter-John

    Winter-John Green Belt

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    Calm down bud I wasn't criticising you. Didn't even mention you. I was just responding to the guy talking about how he lived with a wannabe songwriter, cos I had the same thing.

    Yes, my friend sounded stupid. That's because he was stupid. It was kind of the point of the story.
     
  19. Blue_Lou

    Blue_Lou Orange Belt

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    It’s not bad. It’s just that there’s an oversaturation of this type of music. Like 75% of all aspiring singer/songwriters sound like this. Kinda like how some pop songs would be a lot more enjoyable if you didn’t hear them in every restaurant/cafe/gym/store/bar you walk into
     
  20. Shamrocker

    Shamrocker Brown Belt

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    Looks like a State or an AO Smith:p
     

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