Uncle Handle's guide to Toughness

Jack Handy jr

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After reading some of the comments in the thread about ancient warfare and how one would fare many responses were kinda weak tbh.

So since Many of you were raised to be fembots i'm going to tell you a few things every male must do to project toughness in life.

1.Never make love.. and by making I love I mean no slow music candles sensual romance novel crap. when ever you lay a woman you should be trying to destroy the poon like a savage.

2. Drink whiskey. none of these metrosex fruity drinks. my glass has never had an umbrella or piece of fruity garnish sticking out of it.

3.Cut your own grass. no self respecting man should let another man touch his lawn. (unless its Houston during the summer)

4.Buy a Gun. when the caca hits the oscillator you will thank me if its a rifle must be 308 or higher pistol only 45acp is acceptable in my book.

5.Learn how to fight. whether you're a middle aged dude that's taking a karate class for the first time or youre doing cardio kickboxing. after about six months go to the seediest bar in town and pick a fight preferably with a guy missing teeth and a neck tattoo and kick his ass.

6. Never do chores. I don't care what it is cleaning and cooking (grilling is acceptable) is a woman's job.

7.Watch MMA,Football, Hockey, or Boxing. any other mainstream sport is unacceptable waste of a man's time.

8. Go Hunting atleast once a year

9.Get a badly done tattoo.

10. If you have less than 50 confirmed kills by the time youre 22 you're failing at sowing oats.

thoughts additions. only posters over 30
 
After reading some of the comments in the thread about ancient warfare and how one would fare many responses were kinda weak tbh.

So since Many of you were raised to be fembots i'm going to tell you a few things every male must do to project toughness in life.

1.Never make love.. and by making I love I mean no slow music candles sensual romance novel crap. when ever you lay a woman you should be trying to destroy the poon like a savage.

2. Drink whiskey. none of these metrosex fruity drinks. my glass has never had an umbrella or piece of fruity garnish sticking out of it.

3.Cut your own grass. no self respecting man should let another man touch his lawn. (unless its Houston during the summer)

4.Buy a Gun. when the caca hits the oscillator you will thank me if its a rifle must be 308 or higher pistol only 45acp is acceptable in my book.

5.Learn how to fight. whether you're a middle aged dude that's taking a karate class for the first time or youre doing cardio kickboxing. after about six months go to the seediest bar in town and pick a fight preferably with a guy missing teeth and a neck tattoo and kick his ass.

6. Never do chores. I don't care what it is cleaning and cooking (grilling is acceptable) is a woman's job.

7.Watch MMA,Football, Hockey, or Boxing. any other mainstream sport is unacceptable waste of a man's time.

8. Go Hunting atleast once a year

9.Get a badly done tattoo.

10. If you have less than 50 confirmed kills by the time youre 22 you're failing at sowing oats.

thoughts additions. only posters over 30
well I'm 29 going on 30.

so far I know how to fight( been in street fights) and have sparred muay thai and boxing, but I'm too scared to hunt. plus I'm scurred of VD so banging that many chicks is a no go.

how about lifting weights?
 
Gay guy giving advice on how to be tough? Only on Sherdog.
 
I'll be 30 in a couple of months so I'll respond anyway...I've been in multiple bar fights, I have been stabbed and shot at. My liver is soiled from all of the manliest drinks ever. I have a shitload of tattoos (Some admittedly are bad) and I plan on going hunting real soon...I hope I qualify
 
I highly doubt any male using the word "fembot" should be extolling the virtues of toughness lol.
 
After reading some of the comments in the thread about ancient warfare and how one would fare many responses were kinda weak tbh.

So since Many of you were raised to be fembots i'm going to tell you a few things every male must do to project toughness in life.

1.Never make love.. and by making I love I mean no slow music candles sensual romance novel crap. when ever you lay a woman you should be trying to destroy the poon like a savage.

2. Drink whiskey. none of these metrosex fruity drinks. my glass has never had an umbrella or piece of fruity garnish sticking out of it.

3.Cut your own grass. no self respecting man should let another man touch his lawn. (unless its Houston during the summer)

4.Buy a Gun. when the caca hits the oscillator you will thank me if its a rifle must be 308 or higher pistol only 45acp is acceptable in my book.

5.Learn how to fight. whether you're a middle aged dude that's taking a karate class for the first time or youre doing cardio kickboxing. after about six months go to the seediest bar in town and pick a fight preferably with a guy missing teeth and a neck tattoo and kick his ass.

6. Never do chores. I don't care what it is cleaning and cooking (grilling is acceptable) is a woman's job.

7.Watch MMA,Football, Hockey, or Boxing. any other mainstream sport is unacceptable waste of a man's time.

8. Go Hunting atleast once a year

9.Get a badly done tattoo.

10. If you have less than 50 confirmed kills by the time youre 22 you're failing at sowing oats.

thoughts additions. only posters over 30

Cooking is an asset

hockey is gay
 
Should kill another man in single combat by the age of 20. Or you're a pussy who uses guns.
 
if you did not enter a prostitute raw, you are not a man. remember, only pussies use condoms
 
I agree with 4, 5, 6, 7, 8

Also, Vodka>>>>>Whiskey

But if you are a southern or American I guess I can understand the bias to Whiskey.

#4 and #8 can be hard for guys who don't live in the USA, getting a gun isn't so easy everywhere and a ton of people want to hunt but have no idea how to even get started. I mean in some countries that isn't even a huge thing, you got guys who have killed people in some areas but never killed an animal.

And we all know that taking a human life>>>animal life
 
You are a pussy if you don't drive a minimum of 40mph over any speed limit.

If you have never slid through a corner in a 67 Camaro while the hubcaps fly off and a cop chasing you...... turn in your man card
 
Watching sport? Pfft!

Try playing a sport after downing whiskey shots while banging hookers between rounds.
 
I'll be 30 in a couple of months so I'll respond anyway...I've been in multiple bar fights, I have been stabbed and shot at. My liver is soiled from all of the manliest drinks ever. I have a shitload of tattoos (Some admittedly are bad) and I plan on going hunting real soon...I hope I qualify


My ninja
 
You are a pussy if you don't drive a minimum of 40mph over any speed limit.

If you have never slid through a corner in a 67 Camaro while the hubcaps fly off and a cop chasing you...... turn in your man card
QUOTE

Mayberry man law right here if I'm not driving at least 80 in a pick up no less I feel my free test levels drop
 
Tbh if you spend time duscussing this shit on an online forum you probably aren't a man. A real man wouldn't have the time. He would be too busy doing man shit
 
@Jack Handy jr you forgot,if you haven't done this to yourself with a home made set your disqualified from manhood.
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bonus points are awarded for doing this in front of your buddies.
 
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