- Joined
- May 11, 2017
- Messages
- 47
- Reaction score
- 3
I've got bad news for you guys. UFC fighting does NOT work! I'm sure this will be as hard to swallow for some of you as it was for me, but it's the truth man. Here's my story.
About a year ago I decided that should probably become a really good fighter. Naturally I wanted to learn the best way of fighting, so I figured I should train in UFC fighting. So I got Randy Couture's training DVDs and started training every day. I even got a heavy bag so I could practice my combos. By now I consider myself to be a very technical striker.
Well, last week I had to fly somewhere, and after the plane landed and everyone was getting off the plane, I ran into this complete douche bag. As we were walking to the baggage claim, I wasn't watching where I was going and accidentally stepped on this guy's shoe. Instead of being cool about it, this douche just turns and shoves me. I was like, "Bro, chill out" and he shoves me again. I kid you not. No way I was going to put up with that crap, I mean this is what I had been training for. So I start knuckling up this guy's face.
Now if this was a cage fight, I definitely would have won by doctor's stoppage for this cut on his face. But since this was an airport fight, this douche was allowed to keep on fighting. So then he plants a front kick square on my grape sack. I called for a time out and yelled at him that I wasn't wearing a cup, and then instead of letting me recover like he should have he blasts me with a huge overhand right. I was kind of rocked, and in the heat of the moment I kind of panic wrestled and shot in for a double leg. So then this guy sprawls on me and somehow manages to scramble into top position, and then he starts laying on the ground and pound.
By the time security got there and pulled the guy off me. I was kind of lucky though, because the security people only saw the douche bag pounding on me so they assumed he was at fault and let me go right away. As I was leaving, I saw that I had put a really good scuff on the douche bag's shoe, and it looked like they were expensive shoes, so I kind of won a moral victory.
But the bottom line is that this UFC stuff doesn't really work. So don't waste your time, bros. I just ordered some aikido DVDs so next time I fly I'll be ready.
About a year ago I decided that should probably become a really good fighter. Naturally I wanted to learn the best way of fighting, so I figured I should train in UFC fighting. So I got Randy Couture's training DVDs and started training every day. I even got a heavy bag so I could practice my combos. By now I consider myself to be a very technical striker.
Well, last week I had to fly somewhere, and after the plane landed and everyone was getting off the plane, I ran into this complete douche bag. As we were walking to the baggage claim, I wasn't watching where I was going and accidentally stepped on this guy's shoe. Instead of being cool about it, this douche just turns and shoves me. I was like, "Bro, chill out" and he shoves me again. I kid you not. No way I was going to put up with that crap, I mean this is what I had been training for. So I start knuckling up this guy's face.
Now if this was a cage fight, I definitely would have won by doctor's stoppage for this cut on his face. But since this was an airport fight, this douche was allowed to keep on fighting. So then he plants a front kick square on my grape sack. I called for a time out and yelled at him that I wasn't wearing a cup, and then instead of letting me recover like he should have he blasts me with a huge overhand right. I was kind of rocked, and in the heat of the moment I kind of panic wrestled and shot in for a double leg. So then this guy sprawls on me and somehow manages to scramble into top position, and then he starts laying on the ground and pound.
By the time security got there and pulled the guy off me. I was kind of lucky though, because the security people only saw the douche bag pounding on me so they assumed he was at fault and let me go right away. As I was leaving, I saw that I had put a really good scuff on the douche bag's shoe, and it looked like they were expensive shoes, so I kind of won a moral victory.
But the bottom line is that this UFC stuff doesn't really work. So don't waste your time, bros. I just ordered some aikido DVDs so next time I fly I'll be ready.
