Too much pepper?

Discussion in 'Archives' started by MC Paul Barman, Dec 17, 2013.

Thread Status:
Not open for further replies.
  1. MC Paul Barman Gold Belt

    MC Paul Barman
    Joined:
    Mar 7, 2002
    Messages:
    20,320
    Likes Received:
    3,162
    Location:
    WI
    So I'm at the gym the other night flickin' my jab away at the heavy bag (pop, pop, pop). Lightning fast... pop, pop, POP! I'm getting into a groove so I start doin my Ali shuffle as I'm dusting the heavy bag with this jab. I get alittle freaked out that the S-hook this bag is dangling from is going to snap.

    As you can imagine all of these grapplers in the gym are getting pissed and intimidated... I'm talking wrestlers, bjjers, and an assortment of others (sambo?? probably).

    One guy (probably a wrestler) says "go easy on that bag".
    I look at him and just say "Why don't you make me... all of you".
    As you can imagine they all are dumbfounded and a bit terrified.

    So I'm all spent with handing out these "hi ya's" and "how ya doin's". I point to where the grappling mats and boxing rings are and say "let's just settle this like men"...
    as I'm walking to a grappling mat one of the bjjers says "but the boxing ring is over there" (pointing to a boxing ring) and I just say, "I know. We're settling this in your world".

    You could have heard a pin drop. It's like that scene from A Bronx Tale where the italian locks the door of the bar trapping the bikers inside with all of the mafia guys.

    Just like this:

    [​IMG]


    I'm standing in the center of the mat and start lacing up my 24oz gloves. One of these grapplers says "but with gloves on how are you going to get back up? you won't be able to grab??"....
    I don't even look up, still focusing on my gloves.... I just say,
    "You just worry about getting me down."

    a general unease spreads among the grapplers. That and complete terror.


    Let's just cut to the good part.

    I have a bjjer, freestyle wrestler, and some judo clown slowly advancing towards me (and I mean slllllloooooooooooowwwwwlllllllllllyyyyyyyyyy.... the kind of slow advancing you'd do on a gorilla that's more than likely going to rip you apart)....the sambo guy must have had a moment of clarity. Last I saw he was hightailing it towards the door yelling something inaudible. I think it was something about how he was experiencing great terror and dread.

    I start bouncing around, real light on my feet. Switching south paw/orthodox.... back and forth.... paw'ing at the air with my jab.

    Wrestler is the first guy to taste his.... I start laying on really thick with the pepper. I'm just peppering this guy with the jab. pop, pop, pop. He just can't get his bearings about him. Any time he tries to shoot... pop pop pop....
    he gives up and mutters some defeated comment like, "I never had to deal with a jab before in wrestling." I sagely respond, "I knew that all along". Peppered to death, as I say.

    Bjj guy is a bit more hesitant.... but it plays out all the same.
    After a very quick dusting with the jab he just drops to his back.
    Remember when Royler fought Sakuraba. Royler drops to his back and the camera just shows this look of terror and dread and confusion on his face? And complete bewilderment and shock and terror? Exactly like that.... but like 10 times more terror and dread and confusion. And complete bewilderment and shock and terror.

    I turn around to face the judo guy but he's nowhere to be seen.
    The only sign that he was there is this empty judo gi laying lifeless on the floor.
    I'm telling you, right out of the movie "Night of the Comet" where all of those people were just vaporized and only their clothes were left behind.

    [​IMG]

    yeah, just like that.

    For a moment I was real confused.... With all of the jabs I was dustin these guys with might I have gone overboard on the judo guy and completely vaporized him???

    Then I was brought back to my senses when a custodian yells out, "He just sprinted for the door yelling something about being done with judo and how he was flooded with complete terror and dread"....

    I look down at my fist nestled nicely in the 24oz Everlast and said, "oh look... you did it again."

    Anyway. Thought I'd share this.
     
    #1
  2. Uchi Mata Gold Belt

    Uchi Mata
    Joined:
    Jun 21, 2010
    Messages:
    17,954
    Likes Received:
    2,826
    Location:
    Denver, CO
    Who are you again?
     
    #2
    Typrune Goatley likes this.
  3. MC Paul Barman Gold Belt

    MC Paul Barman
    Joined:
    Mar 7, 2002
    Messages:
    20,320
    Likes Received:
    3,162
    Location:
    WI

    Funny...
    the Judo guy who sprinted off said the exact same thing.
     
    #3
  4. Iarphairc White Belt

    Iarphairc
    Joined:
    Apr 17, 2013
    Messages:
    132
    Likes Received:
    0
    Please delete this thread so nobody wastes five seconds of their life like I did...
     
    #4
  5. Leify Ebb and Flow

    Leify
    Joined:
    Jul 3, 2011
    Messages:
    2,154
    Likes Received:
    147
    Wow, OP. So brave, and even more impressive that you, a retard, figured out how to post on the interwebs.
     
    #5
  6. FinBJJ Black Belt

    FinBJJ
    Joined:
    Jan 12, 2013
    Messages:
    6,131
    Likes Received:
    1,992
    Location:
    Finland
    ...and then you woke up. Cool dream bro.
     
    #6
  7. MC Paul Barman Gold Belt

    MC Paul Barman
    Joined:
    Mar 7, 2002
    Messages:
    20,320
    Likes Received:
    3,162
    Location:
    WI
    Thanks guys.
    It means alot.
     
    #7
  8. SuperAzn812 Green Belt

    SuperAzn812
    Joined:
    Jul 25, 2008
    Messages:
    1,101
    Likes Received:
    0
    You waited this long to troll us?
     
    #8
  9. MC Paul Barman Gold Belt

    MC Paul Barman
    Joined:
    Mar 7, 2002
    Messages:
    20,320
    Likes Received:
    3,162
    Location:
    WI
    Interwebs?
    HA! Clever. Did you come up with that all by yourself?

    Maybe a good jabbing will knock that word right out of your vocabularly.
     
    #9
  10. MC Paul Barman Gold Belt

    MC Paul Barman
    Joined:
    Mar 7, 2002
    Messages:
    20,320
    Likes Received:
    3,162
    Location:
    WI
    Troll?

    The point is that unless if grapplers learn how to contend with a jab they're fighting a losing battle.

    I tell this story not to curse the dark.... but to light a candle.
    A candle of truth and knowledge via terror and dread.
     
    #10
  11. ijustwannasurf Brown Belt

    ijustwannasurf
    Joined:
    Nov 9, 2007
    Messages:
    3,097
    Likes Received:
    139
    Location:
    the 5280
    1/10. Single point for the Bronx Tale reference.
     
    #11
    Jackie Blue and Typrune Goatley like this.
  12. MC Paul Barman Gold Belt

    MC Paul Barman
    Joined:
    Mar 7, 2002
    Messages:
    20,320
    Likes Received:
    3,162
    Location:
    WI
    Pfft.... you're too young to have seen Night of the Comet.

    Watch it...
    then you better come back here and make that a 2/10.
     
    #12
  13. dalexan242 Blue Belt

    dalexan242
    Joined:
    Jun 28, 2009
    Messages:
    598
    Likes Received:
    3
    Location:
    Alexandria, VA
    And THAT is why you don't snort pepper.

    [​IMG]
     
    #13
    Jackie Blue and Typrune Goatley like this.
  14. VulcanNervPinch Silver Belt

    VulcanNervPinch
    Joined:
    Sep 7, 2009
    Messages:
    12,659
    Likes Received:
    3,559
    Not bad.

    However, I think you should emphasize that the reason the sambo guy's yells were incomprehensible was not your fault - you speak flawless Russian, of course - simply that he was too filled with terror and dread to articulate properly.
     
    #14
  15. MC Paul Barman Gold Belt

    MC Paul Barman
    Joined:
    Mar 7, 2002
    Messages:
    20,320
    Likes Received:
    3,162
    Location:
    WI
    I come here, humbly, to offer a bit of advice on jabs and jabbing and peppering stuff with the jab.

    That's it. Not to talk myself up, make myself seem like some cold blooded, but highly intellectual killer.

    i INTENTIONALLY pulled back on the adjectives. I said to myself, "so what if the story is actually 80 times more intense than this! And who really cares if I was actually dustin up 15 grapplers as opposed to the 2 I mentioned.... I really ONLY care about the lesson. About being humble and giving people a wealth of my own personal knowledge."

    You try to do a favor and you get mocked.

    Cute.
     
    #15
  16. MC Paul Barman Gold Belt

    MC Paul Barman
    Joined:
    Mar 7, 2002
    Messages:
    20,320
    Likes Received:
    3,162
    Location:
    WI

    Flawless Russian. Thank you.
     
    #16
  17. MC Paul Barman Gold Belt

    MC Paul Barman
    Joined:
    Mar 7, 2002
    Messages:
    20,320
    Likes Received:
    3,162
    Location:
    WI
    Guys, you're really starting to get to me.

    Shame it's getting so close to Christmas

    "You better watch out, You better not cry, Better not pout, I'm telling you why. MC Paul Barman is starting to paw at the air with his jab.... reeeeal light on this feet."
     
    #17
  18. legendtony Brown Belt

    legendtony
    Joined:
    Feb 2, 2006
    Messages:
    4,312
    Likes Received:
    16
    Location:
    Chandler, AZ
    Damn, I thought this thread was about cooking.
     
    #18
  19. Leify Ebb and Flow

    Leify
    Joined:
    Jul 3, 2011
    Messages:
    2,154
    Likes Received:
    147
    [​IMG]

    Tell me, Mr. Barman... what good is a jab... if you're unable to punch?

    [​IMG]

    This sub is really sucking ass lately, with all the troll/terrible threads.
     
    #19
    Jackie Blue and Typrune Goatley like this.
  20. Misfit1 Blue Belt

    Misfit1
    Joined:
    Oct 22, 2013
    Messages:
    662
    Likes Received:
    4
    Location:
    SourKraut!
    I was waiting for you to throw a straight right so I could counter with Uchi Makikomi, but just got bored & left.
     
    #20
    Jackie Blue and Typrune Goatley like this.
Thread Status:
Not open for further replies.

Share This Page

monitoring_string = "fd5733925866a04e50edd70f38dfaa35"
monitoring_string = "603ac9fff68f23709f2a42bf5e29272b"