I also had a rude awakening going against good wrestlers. I think the crux of the problem (even with gi) is that you never get to use the sleeve the same way versus an upright judoka. No gi obviously not, but less obvious with gi is that the bent and often reverse stance of wrestlers prevent you from rotating uke. Next, their instinct is to drop their weight. Lastly, IMO a judoka has to accomplish a lot more to lift and flip someone versus a takedown. It's really really hard to throw someone who is already halfway to the ground. Take that further and you'd be asking a judoka to throw someone sitting down. The classic Japanese style Judo would tell you to push down on uke before pulling up, action reaction. I think that is okay in Judo but an arms race versus a wrestler, who will declare victory if you screw up and get taken down as a result. There are things that lend themselves vs. bent stances, like belt grips and some sacrifices, but even those will only take you so far without core skill. I think the long term solution is learning to adapt to different grips while making kuzushi without relying on the classic gi pull. That could be ashiwaza, adapted wrestling setups like snapdowns, unorthodox grips or wrestling tie-ups, grip-and-throw or single grip throw moves. Basically stuff that is also in Judo but perhaps you have to be pretty good already. On that note, I often like showing things no-gi because it cuts straight to the point on how techniques should work. You don't have added complexity or additional levers to compensate.