Thinking about buying a treadmill

Clippy

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@plutonium
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Thinking of getting a treadmill cause I looked out my window and there was this rather menacing bird looking in my general direction and I felt concerned. Also there's often breezes and sometimes things blow about and it frightens me so I want to lock myslef in my basement where it's safe and run and run, and belive me I'll run cause there's spiders in my basement and they scare me

Another reason I'm scared to run outside is cause some people have moustaches and moustaches freak me out cause I'm always afraid people will abuse them and brush their moustache against me and I can't handle that shit.

also one time I heard a child laughing in the distance and you never know what a child is capable of cause they can make a weapon out of anything
 
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Thinking of getting a treadmill cause I looked out my window and there was this rather menacing bird looking in my general direction and I felt concerned. Also there's often breezes and sometimes things blow about and it frightens me so I want to lock myslef in my basement where it's safe and run and run, and belive me I'll run cause there's spiders in my basement and they scare me

Another reason I'm scared to run outside is cause some people have moustaches and moustaches freak me out cause I'm always afraid people will abuse them and brush their moustache against me and I can't handle that shit.

also one time I heard a child laughing in the distance and you never know what a child is capable of cause they can make a weapon out of anything
Birds = Flying Mustaches.
buttface.jpg
 
Save some money and get yourself one of these instead..

14c093b0ef060657b8ba27bd86a6c6d5.jpg
 
I wouldnt worry about it too much. Did you consider perhaps rather than being scared youre an adrenaline junkie Clip? You probably seek out the birds and the moustaches so you can then run, without even realizing it.
 
I wouldnt worry about it too much. Did you consider perhaps rather than being scared youre an adrenaline junkie Clip? You probably seek out the birds and the moustaches so you can then run, without even realizing it.

It's like I'm in the movie Crank!!!
 
Thinking of getting a treadmill cause I looked out my window and there was this rather menacing bird looking in my general direction and I felt concerned. Also there's often breezes and sometimes things blow about and it frightens me so I want to lock myslef in my basement where it's safe and run and run, and belive me I'll run cause there's spiders in my basement and they scare me

Another reason I'm scared to run outside is cause some people have moustaches and moustaches freak me out cause I'm always afraid people will abuse them and brush their moustache against me and I can't handle that shit.

also one time I heard a child laughing in the distance and you never know what a child is capable of cause they can make a weapon out of anything
You are right to fear mustaches.

I constantly brush my luxurious stache against all kinds of strangers.
 
Thinking of getting a treadmill cause I looked out my window and there was this rather menacing bird looking in my general direction and I felt concerned. Also there's often breezes and sometimes things blow about and it frightens me so I want to lock myslef in my basement where it's safe and run and run, and belive me I'll run cause there's spiders in my basement and they scare me

Another reason I'm scared to run outside is cause some people have moustaches and moustaches freak me out cause I'm always afraid people will abuse them and brush their moustache against me and I can't handle that shit.

 
Fact: 100% of treadmills bought for home use go unused.

Maybe a fact. I don't know.
 
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