The Crisis in American Fatherhood Starts Early— Happy Father’s Day...

[Grenz]

As of 6:30 PM last night, I'm officially the father of a high school graduate.

I was 17 when he was born, only a junior in high school. I'm 35, soon to be 36 now.

I worked full-time through college, albeit I went to a university with a built-in co-op/internship program.

If I can raise a child as a teenager, work full time, and go to college, then anyone can.

I'm tired of hearing 30-somethings who were able to live out their 20's according to their own plan, who put their wants/needs at the forefront of their lives, and who had had the luxury of "finding themselves" complain about their fucking lives because they have kids now and so they feel the need to rally for "paid paternity leave" so they can mitigate some stress.



There is no crisis in American fatherhood. The real issue is weak and ineffectual males wanting to remain children well into their 30's.

Explain to us exactly how that worked. You worked fulltime (40 hrs/week) went to school (let's call that a conservative 25 hours) so that's 65 hours. Who raised the kid during the 9.5 hours you weren't home? Who took care of him/her? You keep saying you raised the kid, but speaking from experience, you can't leave an infant alone for 2 minutes, let alone 9.5 hours. So who helped you?

 

[Long Dark Blues]

Explain to us exactly how that worked. You worked fulltime (40 hrs/week) went to school (let's call that a conservative 25 hours) so that's 65 hours. Who raised the kid during the 9.5 hours you weren't home? Who took care of him/her? You keep saying you raised the kid, but speaking from experience, you can't leave an infant alone for 2 minutes, let alone 9.5 hours. So who helped you?

My girlfriend. You know, his mom. That's the benefit of being part of a family unit, even if we weren't then and still aren't married. She worked at night while I went to school and/or worked during the day. Then I would do the same for her over the weekends while she went to school.

 

[Gandhi]

My girlfriend. You know, his mom. That's the benefit of being part of a family unit, even if we weren't then and still aren't married. She worked at night while I went to school and/or worked during the day. Then I would do the same for her over the weekends while she went to school.

Kudos to all that. But it sounds like hell and you are wrong about one important thing.

“Anyone could do it”.

A sample size of one is not a rational way to make social policy. As an analogy one poor guy goes from rags to riches does not mean social programs are a waste.

 

[unimackpass]

Well I'm pretty sure the graph above is wrong in regards to the UK (or at least "14 weeks or more" comes with a huge caveat).

Fathers in the UK are guaranteed 1-2 weeks paid leave (at their normal pay rate), but Paternity/Maternity leave must be shared between parents and I've never known one guy to take shared leave with their partner, or in place of their partner, mostly because the statutory pay is atrocious and the man usually earns more so will see a bigger hit in their pay. Statutory paternity/maternity pay is like £145 a week, an absolute dog shit sum of money that makes it not worth it for most couples.

Plus lots of jobs don't guarantee you ANY paternity/maternity leave at all (agency work, zero hours contracts, some part time work etc.,). And when you think there are 2 million workers (mostly young/early 20s workers) on Zero Hour contracts, no wonder working age people are putting off having children or not having children at all.

Don't start talking facts, your going to spoil the moral outrage around here just as it's getting a head of steam.

"Outrage!" "Fukien tragedy!" Bla bla bla.

 

[Grenz]

My girlfriend. You know, his mom. That's the benefit of being part of a family unit, even if we weren't then and still aren't married. She worked at night while I went to school and/or worked during the day. Then I would do the same for her over the weekends while she went to school.

Alright, makes sense. Where did you guys live when the baby was born and during the first year?

 

[livingdeadmoose]

I’m okay with private businesses giving paid paternity/maternity leave, but not the government mandating it. Why should the rest of us pay for someone else’s life choice? I don’t want to foot the bill so someone can become a baby factory. Your baby, your life, your money.

 

[livingdeadmoose]

Ahaha could you imagine being this much of a bootlicker? Jesus.

Employers are also human beings just like you and me who don’t like others telling them what to do with their own money/business.

 

[Snackbar]

I think parental leave makes sense when the wife is the bread winner, or the child is born with a serious disability.
However the only guys I know who used parental leave are lazy opinionated twats who sat at home playing video games for weeks while their wives took care of the kid.

 

[Long Dark Blues]

Alright, makes sense. Where did you guys live when the baby was born and during the first year?

A one-bedroom efficiency, think it was $730/month. Until we bought our house together in 2007.