The addiction/depression thread.

[mmaelitefan000]

do things that make you happy. fuck beautiful women. smoke pot. eat good food. lift weights. listen to positive music. do things for those you care about.get angry if things don't go your way. snap out of it and you'll be ok.

 

[Mike]

Stress and the issues you have don't allow for a healthy life. It's always an uphill battle right?

Yeah, I've been working really hard at staying optimistic. But I've got two more new health issues since the last doctors appointment, after I collapsed at work. Trying to stay focused on small incremental changes for the better, but as usual it feels like my broken body is out to get me. My genetics are such garbage.

 

[scorpipede]

Yeah, I've been working really hard at staying optimistic. But I've got two more new health issues since the last doctors appointment, after I collapsed at work. Trying to stay focused on small incremental changes for the better, but as usual it feels like my broken body is out to get me. My genetics are such garbage.

You need perspective bud. The woods for a weekend or so is how I get that. I'm way overdue for a dose.

 

[Mike]

You need perspective bud. The woods for a weekend or so is how I get that. I'm way overdue for a dose.

Yeah I asked my new boss for some time off. So I'll have a bit shorter week this week. Three days off in a row, and only a half day on the fourth day. Hopefully I can recharge some. My nervous insomnia has kicked in again and I'm somehow up at almost 5 am. Gotta get up in the morning and go to Colorado too. Oh well at least after I run errands I can get obliterated and try to relax.

 

[45ACP]

wow, that other guy sure is a jerk.

It's weird, seeing some of the usuals in this thread. Comforting but depressing at the same time. Kinda makes you wonder if you'll ever get out of it. Best thing I guess is just to learn how to cope.

I went straight from work to the bar by myself on a fucking monday. Then ubered home and punched a new hole in my wall. Still have to fix the one in my bathroom. That one has a picture hanging over it now at least.

 

[GordoBarraBJJ]

So I guess you should throw in PANIC ATTACKS.

Have dealt with anxiety and depression for most of my adult life. But started having panic attacks last year.

Had one last night. Fucking hell. Feel like shit today. Sore, tired and still kinda in a haze (foggy headed). Thinking of just telling work that I'm not feeling good and going home for the afternoon.

Gonna make the plunge and try CBD. Willing try anything at this point.

 

[45ACP]

So I guess you should throw in PANIC ATTACKS.

Have dealt with anxiety and depression for most of my adult life. But started having panic attacks last year.

Had one last night. Fucking hell. Feel like shit today. Sore, tired and still kinda in a haze (foggy headed). Thinking of just telling work that I'm not feeling good and going home for the afternoon.

Gonna make the plunge and try CBD. Willing try anything at this point.

Sorry to hear you're dealing with this buddy.

My ex gf swears by CBD oil. I'd give it a shot, definitely can't hurt.

Have you tried a daily (non-benzo) anti-anxiety psych med, like buspar?

Panic attacks suck, but once you know what they are, become familiar with them, and understand that even though it might feel that way they aren't going to kill you, they become tolerable and less severe.

I've said it before and I'll say it again. I've been dealing with this shit for over a decade and by far the thing that has had the most positive impact on my anxiety is regular strenuous exercise.

Are you exercising regularly? I can't recommend more strongly that anyone suffering with regular anxiety put a good hour or two of work in at least 2-3 times/week and stay committed to that. You don't even have to join a gym. If you really want to you can get a pretty good workout in just doing shadow boxing and body weight exercises for an hour. It should be more than going for a walk or doing some yoga (although that stuff can help as well). You want to get a good sweat going and get your heart rate up.

Hope you feel better soon.

 

[Sir Galahad]

Sounds dumb, but our Sherbro's suicide attempt hurt a lot.

We all hurt, we're all here for a reason... so share what's on your mind. This thread offers no judgement, only support (I hope).

I'll start.. I didn't buy coke tonight.. I felt a weird hold grab over me as soon as I got paid (I got paid in cash and I finished a 15 hour shift today) I went to the poolhall my dealer is at, and... I just left.

To everyone suffering and struggling, how did you get through the night?

MOD EDIT:

THIS IS NOT A TROLLING THREAD. AND ANY ATTEMPTS TO TROLL OR DERAIL IN AN ATTEMPT FOR CHUCKLES OR SOAPBOX POSTING WILL BE DEALT WITH SWIFTLY. POSSIBLE BANNING. NOT THE PLACE.

My friend who was into bodybuilding died young getting hooked on painkillers.

 

[AgonyandIrony]

So I guess you should throw in PANIC ATTACKS.

Have dealt with anxiety and depression for most of my adult life. But started having panic attacks last year.

Had one last night. Fucking hell. Feel like shit today. Sore, tired and still kinda in a haze (foggy headed). Thinking of just telling work that I'm not feeling good and going home for the afternoon.

Gonna make the plunge and try CBD. Willing try anything at this point.

People shit on anxiety a lot but they never seem to understand the terror of a panic attack. There was a four month period where just getting onstage would make me spend all day vomiting and shaking. I just kept telling myself to push through it. Let me know how the oil helps.

My friend who was into bodybuilding died young getting hooked on painkillers.

It's super easy. I snorted oxy off an ex girlfriends cooter once and it was (outside of a fucked up testicular infection) my only time fucking with opiates.

I remember her asking me if I wanted to try it and I turned it down then she said "you can snort it off my cunt" and I caved the fuck in.

 

[Sir Galahad]

It's super easy. I snorted oxy off an ex girlfriends cooter once and it was (outside of a fucked up testicular infection) my only time fucking with opiates.

I remember her asking me if I wanted to try it and I turned it down then she said "you can snort it off my cunt" and I caved the fuck in.

You're a Wildman. Stay safe brother.

 

[TheNinja]

Excellent! I was worried. Glad you got the benzos. Librium won't zonk you out that much but it takes the edge off it. It's actually great that you got it because it's what they use in detox clinics due to skeletal muscle relaxant properties. So you shouldn't be having any seizures. Try and eat 3 meals a day and drink plenty of water/fruit juice. Stay hydrated. Fresh air helps too. Happy for you man, you got this.

Anyone have experience with how much LIbrium (benzos) I can take in a day? I know we aren't doctors here (well maybe some people are) I have some 25mg pills but man, this is day 1 of my 2nd detox for me (yes I feel down since last time but I'm confident now and joining a group for support) and 25mg didn't do much. That was at 5:3am today. Then 9:30 I took a 10mg . Now only an hour after that 10mg got the shakes coming back pretty bad already. I don't think that 10mg did anything really

Can I safely take another 25mg? I've read some people actually take up to 50mg their first dose. I've also read that you should go move than 100mg in a day but others have gone as high as 200mg.

 

[Gazwald]

Anyone have experience with how much LIbrium (benzos) I can take in a day? I know we aren't doctors here (well maybe some people are) I have some 25mg pills but man, this is day 1 of my 2nd detox for me (yes I feel down since last time but I'm confident now and joining a group for support) and 25mg didn't do much. That was at 5:3am today. Then 9:30 I took a 10mg . Now only an hour after that 10mg got the shakes coming back pretty bad already. I don't think that 10mg did anything really

Can I safely take another 25mg? I've read some people actually take up to 50mg their first dose. I've also read that you should go move than 100mg in a day but others have gone as high as 200mg.

Well, I've been in your position a few times. Full on physically dependent etc. Even in a detox facility the highest dose I've ever been administered is 45mg. I'd advise against taking more than 50mg. It's not just an OD issue, it's a dependency issue also. If you take stupid amounts, you risk substituting one addiction for the other, and detoxing from benzos can be a lot worse than detoxing from alcohol. Benzos don't make detoxing 'easy'. You still feel really shit, but the librium in your system stops you having seizures and eases the shakes/nausea somewhat.

^That's all the advice I can give. I don't know your the lvl of your condition and I'm not a doctor. You should seek advice from a medical professional in regards to dosage. I'm not Stateside so I don't know what services are available. You should be able to phone an alcohol helpline and they can point you in the direction of services that might be able to help you with that.

You CAN do it though man. I had to literally get down on my knees and plead my detox meds to get sober for new year. Got them in the end- Day 24 and I've not really been tempted so far *touch wood*.

 

[TheNinja]

Well, I've been in your position a few times. Full on physically dependent etc. Even in a detox facility the highest dose I've ever been administered is 45mg. I'd advise against taking more than 50mg. It's not just an OD issue, it's a dependency issue also. If you take stupid amounts, you risk substituting one addiction for the other, and detoxing from benzos can be a lot worse than detoxing from alcohol. Benzos don't make detoxing 'easy'. You still feel really shit, but the librium in your system stops you having seizures and eases the shakes/nausea somewhat.

^That's all the advice I can give. I don't know your the lvl of your condition and I'm not a doctor. You should seek advice from a medical professional in regards to dosage. I'm not Stateside so I don't know what services are available. You should be able to phone an alcohol helpline and they can point you in the direction of services that might be able to help you with that.

You CAN do it though man. I had to literally get down on my knees and plead my detox meds to get sober for new year. Got them in the end- Day 24 and I've not really been tempted so far *touch wood*.

Thanks man!! I really appreciate the fast response and sharing your information. I'm not too worried about addiction to benzos. Honestly I went through a detox back in December (I made it 14 days and fell off again - But I WILL do it this time and make it sober!) .

It took a trip to the ER that time so I have no idea the dose they gave me in the IV as I was pretty out of it. After that I actually only did the 25mg benzos 4, 3, 2, 1 and then used 10mg before bed to help sleep for like 3 days. My only concern is if there is leftover alcohol still in my system and could have bad effects if mixed.....like breathing issues or heart issues.

So I know I can detox with these benzos as last time it really only took me maybe 2 days but I did the benzo taper just to be safe. I just worry how much I should/could take now without a proper BAC% reading. But man these shakes are REALLY bad. I only had 35mg since I started 6 hours ago and I feel like 25mg more should be safe.

But yes I know I should consult a real doctor. It's just that I can't for personal and professional reasons right now

 

[Scott Parker 27]

Thanks man!! I really appreciate the fast response and sharing your information. I'm not too worried about addiction to benzos. Honestly I went through a detox back in December (I made it 14 days and fell off again - But I WILL do it this time and make it sober!) .

It took a trip to the ER that time so I have no idea the dose they gave me in the IV as I was pretty out of it. After that I actually only did the 25mg benzos 4, 3, 2, 1 and then used 10mg before bed to help sleep for like 3 days. My only concern is if there is leftover alcohol still in my system and could have bad effects if mixed.....like breathing issues or heart issues.

So I know I can detox with these benzos as last time it really only took me maybe 2 days but I did the benzo taper just to be safe. I just worry how much I should/could take now without a proper BAC% reading. But man these shakes are REALLY bad. I only had 35mg since I started 6 hours ago and I feel like 25mg more should be safe.

But yes I know I should consult a real doctor. It's just that I can't for personal and professional reasons right now

The halflife of valium is pretty long. If you NEED to take a ten and that should do it. This is coming from someone who has had a rx for valium going on 14 years now.

 

[EatMyShorts]

I was meant to party tonight.

I can't.

It's sent me into a spiral of depression.

FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU

 

[Gazwald]

Thanks man!! I really appreciate the fast response and sharing your information. I'm not too worried about addiction to benzos. Honestly I went through a detox back in December (I made it 14 days and fell off again - But I WILL do it this time and make it sober!) .

It took a trip to the ER that time so I have no idea the dose they gave me in the IV as I was pretty out of it. After that I actually only did the 25mg benzos 4, 3, 2, 1 and then used 10mg before bed to help sleep for like 3 days. My only concern is if there is leftover alcohol still in my system and could have bad effects if mixed.....like breathing issues or heart issues.

So I know I can detox with these benzos as last time it really only took me maybe 2 days but I did the benzo taper just to be safe. I just worry how much I should/could take now without a proper BAC% reading. But man these shakes are REALLY bad. I only had 35mg since I started 6 hours ago and I feel like 25mg more should be safe.

But yes I know I should consult a real doctor. It's just that I can't for personal and professional reasons right now

I wish I was qualified to give you more advice. All I have is personal experience and my circumstances may differ from yours. If you can't get medical advice, you might have to do what you think is best. You know your circumstances better than I do, so your guess is going to be better than mine. Don't take too many benzos, try and eat something, keep hydrated and get some vitamins in you.

Once the meds are in your system, they have a long half life for benzos so it's not always white knuckle time waiting for the next dose. I wish you all the best with it dude. You deserve to be sober.

 

[TheNinja]

I was meant to party tonight.

I can't.

It's sent me into a spiral of depression.

FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU

Your body will thank you for it both long term and short term - Imagine waking up feeling fantastic tomorrow instead of like you got hit by a bus

 

[GordoBarraBJJ]

Sorry to hear you're dealing with this buddy.

My ex gf swears by CBD oil. I'd give it a shot, definitely can't hurt.

Have you tried a daily (non-benzo) anti-anxiety psych med, like buspar?

Panic attacks suck, but once you know what they are, become familiar with them, and understand that even though it might feel that way they aren't going to kill you, they become tolerable and less severe.

I've said it before and I'll say it again. I've been dealing with this shit for over a decade and by far the thing that has had the most positive impact on my anxiety is regular strenuous exercise.

Are you exercising regularly? I can't recommend more strongly that anyone suffering with regular anxiety put a good hour or two of work in at least 2-3 times/week and stay committed to that. You don't even have to join a gym. If you really want to you can get a pretty good workout in just doing shadow boxing and body weight exercises for an hour. It should be more than going for a walk or doing some yoga (although that stuff can help as well). You want to get a good sweat going and get your heart rate up.

Hope you feel better soon.

I did end up going on CBD. I'm on a low does (1mg - I take .70 in the morning, and the .30 in the evening). My regular doctor had to refer to another who prescribed it to me. I did a 3 month trial run - to see how it helped me. Went back last night talk to the doctor and he put on a 12 month prescription. Only thing is it is not covered by my insurance so I gotta pay outta pocket but 1 bottle lasts me about a month and they are 90$ each.

I've found that it helps with the background anxiety (depression) - if that makes sense. Things like not getting too worked up in crowds of people, not getting agitated in traffic, being willing to engage people more, etc.

I'm on Prestiq for the anxiety but will be getting off in the next few months.

Not drinking anymore does help. As well as the more holistic/natural approaches ie. meditation, deep breathing, exercise, eating right, etc.

 

[GordoBarraBJJ]

Had a really bad relapse today.

Have been very stressed lately. Have not been sleeping much the past few weeks.

ended up having a bad panic attack Thursday and then had major set back with a relationship last night which was kind of the final straw.

Brokedown today. My sister had to drive me to my parents I'm here at the parents just barely holding on. I promised myself I'd make it through the day.

Today was about as low and hopeless as I've ever felt in my life.

I'll try get some sleep and attempt to get through tomorrow.

I'm gonna take a break from social media including sherdog - a week maybe more.

Hope to be back to somewhat normal at some point.

 

[Krixes]

Had a really bad relapse today.

Have been very stressed lately. Have not been sleeping much the past few weeks.

ended up having a bad panic attack Thursday and then had major set back with a relationship last night which was kind of the final straw.

Brokedown today. My sister had to drive me to my parents I'm here at the parents just barely holding on. I promised myself I'd make it through the day.

Today was about as low and hopeless as I've ever felt in my life.

I'll try get some sleep and attempt to get through tomorrow.

I'm gonna take a break from social media including sherdog - a week maybe more.

Hope to be back to somewhat normal at some point.

Keep your head up bro....