Street Fight Stories?

[HunterSdVa29]

you can no longer drink alcohol at Pacific Beach solely due to a massive brawl my boys got in one July 4th some summers back

long story short our female friend was waaaaaaay too drunk, some dude starting copping a feel saying he was trying to administer CPR, my boy in the Marines had a problem w/ that, soon a roughly 80+ person brawl breaks out. Takes the cops like five minutes to break trhough the human wall and started tasing everyone and macing cats. Like 20+ arrests hahaha

 

[MadSquabbles500]

Like two days ago, I was walking past a large chinese supermarket. Apparently some mexican guy stole some tuna, and all the little chinese people ran out and tackled him. They held him down until the police came.

 

[Matt4786]

Weirdest fight I ever saw was back when I lived in NYC. I look out my window late at night and this huge crossdresser is harassing some guy. Out of nowhere the guy being harassed threw the most ridiculous right hand. I was like 4 stories up and across the street and that punch still sounded like a gunshot. One hit KO and the crossdresser was KO'd in a way that he was just sitting with his back up against the fence. The puncher just stood over the punchee's crumpled body until he woke up. The crossdresser starts stumbling away trying to escape, clearly on wobbly legs and the guy just kept pushing the crossdresser and screaming "What if I'm still mad at you!?." They disappeared around a corner and that was the last I saw.

In retrospect, maybe I shoulda called the cops but it seemed like karmic justice.

 

[mmaelitefan000]

i once went undefeated in street fighter at the arcade a few yrs ago w/1 quarter.

 

[ObsoleteSoul]

Weirdest fight I ever saw was back when I lived in NYC. I look out my window late at night and this huge crossdresser is harassing some guy. Out of nowhere the guy being harassed threw the most ridiculous right hand. I was like 4 stories up and across the street and that punch still sounded like a gunshot. One hit KO and the crossdresser was KO'd in a way that he was just sitting with his back up against the fence. The puncher just stood over the punchee's crumpled body until he woke up. The crossdresser starts stumbling away trying to escape, clearly on wobbly legs and the guy just kept pushing the crossdresser and screaming "What if I'm still mad at you!?." They disappeared around a corner and that was the last I saw.

In retrospect, maybe I shoulda called the cops but it seemed like karmic justice.

DAMN!

I dont get into fights, but if i ko someone, I'm gonna emulate that fella.

 

[Prefect]

I accidentally spilled some beer on a russian guy in a bar once. I didn't think much of it because even though the guy was pretty beefy, he was a gay bear with a beard and Mohawk. Anyways, he gets all in my face but I can't understand a thing he is saying with his slavic or russian accent. I just apologized and kept moving. Then he grabbed me from behind and suplexed me. Now, this isn't the first time I have been suplexed. In high school phy. ed, I got paired up with a guy who went to the state wrestling tournament as an 8th grader. I was just dragging out the wrestling match and he suplexed me on my head to show me whose boss. I had a bad headache after that and just gave up. And that is what I did with this gay bear looking guy and I was hoping that would be it as I stumbled to get back up. Then he picks me up and spins me while suplexing me again. And I got KO'ed.

 

[MysticSnack]

I've told this story here before, but I like telling it so...

I had some big junkie dude try to mug me while I was taking a piss in an alley in philly after happy hour a few years ago.

He comes running around the corner while I'm pissing yelling "don't move don't move". I didn't really get a look at him so I'm thinking, "fuck I'm getting a ticket for public urination" assuming it's the cops when I feel hands going through my pockets. I remember wondering to myself whether or not he had a weapon, but before I had time to process that thought I had already spun around and started fighting the guy.

I barely remember the fight at all. The only memories I have are that at some point I was on the ground on my back telling myself "you've been here a million times, you're fine" and the next memory I have was feeling my forearm under his chin and immediately locking up a standing guillotine (apparently I had gotten back to my feet somehow) while yelling "are you done yet motherfucker?!" and cranking on his neck. I just kept squeezing until he stopped struggling and when I let go he just fell into a pile on the ground ala Jones vs. Machida.

Now I'm standing over him pissed off and yelling shit like "you're lucky I didn't kill you!" and "you fucked with the wrong guy!" as he starts regaining consciousness. He instantly starts apologizing when I notice one of my shoes is missing so I start yelling "where the fuck is my shoe motherfucker?!". He starts looking around on the ground and finds my shoe and hands it up to me saying, "I'm sorry sir, here's your shoe sir!"

I tell him off for a few more moments before turning around and walking away towards where my car is parked when I decide I need to tell my buddy (who I'd just been drinking with at a bar a few blocks away) about what happened. I reach in my pocket for my phone and it's not there.

So I go storming back over to the guy who at this point is still sitting on the ground. I yell, "where the FUCK is my phone?!" He pulls it out of his pocket and hands it to me.

"It's right here sir I'm sorry sir!"

I take my phone and start yelling at the guy some more when he literally starts crying, tells me he can't find his percocets, and starts mumbling something about taking care of his family and that he's never done this before and never will ever again.

I end up actually feeling sorry for the guy so I help him find his bottle of percocets, which had fallen out onto the street, gave him a little lecture/pep talk, and even handed him a couple bucks out of my wallet.

I get in my car and make it about a block before the adrenaline dump hits me. I call my friend and tell him what happens and he convinces me to come back to the bar for another drink and to calm my nerves before heading home. As I tell the story to my friend the bartender notices my face is a little messed up (not sure if I actually took some punches or it was just from grappling with the guy on the sidewalk) and by the end of the story the entire bar is listening and buying me shots lol.

Another interesting part of the story was that we had been going over basics in my BJJ class the past few weeks (i'd been training for about 5 years at that point) and we were drilling guillotines in class the day before this happened. Needless to say my coach was quite happy when I told him about it (probably would've been more happy if I'd flying triangled or gogoplata'd the guy tho)

EDIT: inb4 literally none of that happened

Bad ass to the max. I’m sure he’s happy you’re alive and doing well.

 

[blitzk]

Nah, I trane teh UFC but I try to avoid getting into fights at all costs. Not worth the hassle that comes with it.

Last week a biker crashed into my car and accused me of stopping on purpose. He got off the bike yelling and he came at me so I rolled down the window so he didn't smash it and he started throwing "punches" through the open window. I just blocked my face with my arm until he got tired of not landing anything on my face and I calmly told him "did you let it all out? buddy", he just stared at me confused and I got off the car and calmly told him to please call his insurance.

He just stared and once the cops and insurance came in, he calmed down and I could tell he was feeling like shit and started to apologize profusely and repeatedly. Some bystander called the cops on him for assaulting me and cops asked me if I wanted to press charges but I declined and just told him to take it easy next time.

Cops ruled on my favor since it was his fault we crashed, I got paid and got a bj later from the girl I was with. Good times.

Ain't nobody got time for that.

 

[Kraysla]

You should wear your gi and belt around in public at all times so people know you are not to be trifled with.

 

[Kraysla]

I've told this story here before, but I like telling it so...

I had some big junkie dude try to mug me while I was taking a piss in an alley in philly after happy hour a few years ago.

He comes running around the corner while I'm pissing yelling "don't move don't move". I didn't really get a look at him so I'm thinking, "fuck I'm getting a ticket for public urination" assuming it's the cops when I feel hands going through my pockets. I remember wondering to myself whether or not he had a weapon, but before I had time to process that thought I had already spun around and started fighting the guy.

I barely remember the fight at all. The only memories I have are that at some point I was on the ground on my back telling myself "you've been here a million times, you're fine" and the next memory I have was feeling my forearm under his chin and immediately locking up a standing guillotine (apparently I had gotten back to my feet somehow) while yelling "are you done yet motherfucker?!" and cranking on his neck. I just kept squeezing until he stopped struggling and when I let go he just fell into a pile on the ground ala Jones vs. Machida.

Now I'm standing over him pissed off and yelling shit like "you're lucky I didn't kill you!" and "you fucked with the wrong guy!" as he starts regaining consciousness. He instantly starts apologizing when I notice one of my shoes is missing so I start yelling "where the fuck is my shoe motherfucker?!". He starts looking around on the ground and finds my shoe and hands it up to me saying, "I'm sorry sir, here's your shoe sir!"

I tell him off for a few more moments before turning around and walking away towards where my car is parked when I decide I need to tell my buddy (who I'd just been drinking with at a bar a few blocks away) about what happened. I reach in my pocket for my phone and it's not there.

So I go storming back over to the guy who at this point is still sitting on the ground. I yell, "where the FUCK is my phone?!" He pulls it out of his pocket and hands it to me.

"It's right here sir I'm sorry sir!"

I take my phone and start yelling at the guy some more when he literally starts crying, tells me he can't find his percocets, and starts mumbling something about taking care of his family and that he's never done this before and never will ever again.

I end up actually feeling sorry for the guy so I help him find his bottle of percocets, which had fallen out onto the street, gave him a little lecture/pep talk, and even handed him a couple bucks out of my wallet.

I get in my car and make it about a block before the adrenaline dump hits me. I call my friend and tell him what happens and he convinces me to come back to the bar for another drink and to calm my nerves before heading home. As I tell the story to my friend the bartender notices my face is a little messed up (not sure if I actually took some punches or it was just from grappling with the guy on the sidewalk) and by the end of the story the entire bar is listening and buying me shots lol.

Another interesting part of the story was that we had been going over basics in my BJJ class the past few weeks (i'd been training for about 5 years at that point) and we were drilling guillotines in class the day before this happened. Needless to say my coach was quite happy when I told him about it (probably would've been more happy if I'd flying triangled or gogoplata'd the guy tho)

EDIT: inb4 literally none of that happened

I'm howling at the stuff you yelled out at him. Alright, i gotta know: did you manage to stuff your dong back in your jeans or did you fight him with it flapping in the wind? Cuz if you fought him with your fly open and dick out, then your badass level just reached 'legendary.'

 

[Ken Fresno]

Last fight I was in was in high school just before graduation senior year. Had recently become pretty good friends with this guy through other friends that I played sports with. I think he wrestled on and off, and did some boxing, but didn't play team sports at the school. Anyway, we had just driven 8 hours to Northern California a couple weeks before, just me and him, to stay with a broad he befriended on Facebook or Myspace or whatever. Fwiw, the broad was cute, had cute friends, and her dad grew reefer trees in a trailer in the backyard. Their whole family would actually have smoke sessions in the backyard together that included their 13 year-old daughter and the mom. Did I mention this was Humboldt? But I digress. So in the weeks after going up there he had started sort of moving on the broad I was messing with at the time. He was telling her things he saw me do with other broads, and even making up a few things to try to be "shoulder to cry on" guy.

So one night I'm driving around smoking blunts with my boy and another friend hits us up for a ride back to his house, where we can all hang for the rest of the night, cuz he's too drunk to drive. His house is about 5 million dollars in Villa Park, CA, and he was the Stiffler of the school and threw parties there all the time and all that so it was standard to pick him up and take him there on the way to his own party. So I'm waiting out front to pick him up, with the blunts. And the guy who's been moving on my chick hears I'm outside and comes out. He's hammered and comes up to my car yelling about how I've been making stuff up about him. At some point it goes from talking shit to him trying to get me out of the car to fight him. So I just drive away and figure I'll circle back for the guy I'm picking up later.

So I go to Del Taco and come back. This time the guy I'm picking up is outside and ready to go. But the guy who wants to fight hears that I'm back and comes out before I can take off. And the rich guy I'm picking up wants to see a fight so he won't get in the car. At some point the guy starts kicking my car to get me out. It was an Expedition and he wasn't even kicking it hard enough to do anything, but he made his point. So my boy I'm smoking blunts with just goes "just handle it already". So I get out and take off my swingman jersey lol, and as I'm pulling it over my head this guy is right on me about to shoot a double leg. But he sees me see him so he pulls back. At this point it finally hits me that I'm actually about to fight this guy. So we circle for a minute, I'm feeling him about with teh jab, and he says "you think you can take me.. what you dont know is.. I HAVE A BOTTLE FOR U RIGHT HERE!!" and reaches his hand from his back pocket and swings it down at me like he's gonna break a bottle on my head. To this day I don't know if he actually had a bottle. I ducked under his arm and scooped up his legs, with his body under my armpit. (Picture a "sidewalk slam" in wrestling) And I stumble to the actual sidewalk from the middle of the street and drop his head on the curb with all my weight on him. He scrambles to get up but I secure the seatbelt(only know that from watching mma lol) and rain down right hands like Brock on Mir. After about 10 clean shots he starts screaming "GET THIS N*****R OFF ME. GET THIS N*****R OFF ME" Probly not the right thing to say. I beat this guy within an inch of his life whilst ridiculing him about his language. Not proud of it. Just what happened.

At some point somebody grabbed my shoulder and said "he's had enough", and I got up and stood in the middle of the street with blood all over me yelling at the 50 or so people that had come to the driveway from the party "WHO ELSE WANTS TO CALL ME A N*****R? I HEAR A LOT OF U MOTHERFUCKERS TALKIN THAT SHIT, NOWS THE FUCKIN TIME"

Needless to say I'm black and grew up with rich white people, and nobody said shit.

 

[Woldog]

I street fight all the time and always win. I don't even train UFC I'm just natural but all you skinny nerds wouldn't know that hahaha I get laid I bet you neckbeards don't amirite? hahahahah nerrrrrrrrds

 

[smooth assassin]

i once went undefeated in street fighter at the arcade a few yrs ago w/1 quarter.

you bad mother fucker

 

[Uber_Noober]

People generally avoid me, when I'm out in public I always wear my Sherdog gi with my black belt.

 

[Uber_Noober]

I accidentally spilled some beer on a russian guy in a bar once. I didn't think much of it because even though the guy was pretty beefy, he was a gay bear with a beard and Mohawk. Anyways, he gets all in my face but I can't understand a thing he is saying with his slavic or russian accent. I just apologized and kept moving. Then he grabbed me from behind and suplexed me. Now, this isn't the first time I have been suplexed. In high school phy. ed, I got paired up with a guy who went to the state wrestling tournament as an 8th grader. I was just dragging out the wrestling match and he suplexed me on my head to show me whose boss. I had a bad headache after that and just gave up. And that is what I did with this gay bear looking guy and I was hoping that would be it as I stumbled to get back up. Then he picks me up and spins me while suplexing me again. And I got KO'ed.

That's a tough one

 

[Fluffernutter]

Left work one evening and headed over to a "let's go to a bar and play pub trivia" office party that my wife's coworkers were having.

I got there and people were really drunk. Since I had just came over from my work, I hadn't had anything to drink.

The last quiz of the evening was a "celebrity bingo" card where people had to correctly guess the historical figure.

One drunk guy came over to us and asked which historical person or celebrity he looked like.

I replied "Dan Akroyd" and my wife replied "Fred Willard."

This guy got pissed!

Now, I was sitting on a bar stool at the time and he leaned over to me and literally said "You wanna step outside?"

It was just like in the movies (ironic because he was angry that we named off two actors).

Now, I have never been in an actual fight before. But, I've wrestled for quite a few years and have been a coach for much of my adult life. Plus, at the time I was working as a personal trainer. So, I wasn't completely out of shape....and as I mentioned above, he was shitfaced and I was sober. So, I said "Hey, why not. Let's do this."

I hopped off the barstool and came up to his chest. (I'm a true blue manlet).

So, he looked me over and realized that he was in a lose/lose situation:

- He could win the fight and be seen around the office as the drunk guy that beat up a manlet.
- He could be seen as the guy around the office that got his ass kicked by a manlet.

So, he backed down and went back to his table.

Never had another conversation with him again.

 

[Bacco]

I accidentally spilled some beer on a russian guy in a bar once. I didn't think much of it because even though the guy was pretty beefy, he was a gay bear with a beard and Mohawk. Anyways, he gets all in my face but I can't understand a thing he is saying with his slavic or russian accent. I just apologized and kept moving. Then he grabbed me from behind and suplexed me. Now, this isn't the first time I have been suplexed. In high school phy. ed, I got paired up with a guy who went to the state wrestling tournament as an 8th grader. I was just dragging out the wrestling match and he suplexed me on my head to show me whose boss. I had a bad headache after that and just gave up. And that is what I did with this gay bear looking guy and I was hoping that would be it as I stumbled to get back up. Then he picks me up and spins me while suplexing me again. And I got KO'ed.

 

[Prefect]

That's a tough one

No, joke. My "friend" Ken and his new roommate this hippy yoga dork from india didn't even back me up.

 

[Yunes]

I prefer street fucking

 

[Jack Reacheround]

There you go. I gave you your first 'like'. I can tell you a story, but you can see plenty of it on YouTube. As to the silly statements, just ignore them. I'll just say this. Street fighting is dangerous. Avoid it at all costs. You never know when a knife or a gun is going to make an appearance. Plus, you may have to deal with multiple opponents. If you or your opponent land on concrete or asphalt with your head, you can get seriously injured or killed. Unless they touch you or are coming at you, walk away.

Yep. All true. Also, you may KO a guy and he hits his head and dies. Then, you will likely have to go to court and defend yourself against a manslaughter charge, and have his death in your conscience when you probably could have diffused the situation.

While I honestly don’t think I would give a shit if I killed a man in a street fight, I don’t know because I’ve never killed anyone before. But I was boxing someone when I was a teenager and hit him so hard he was out on his feet. I immediately felt terrible. Of course, he came to a second later and started swinging, but the point is I felt bad about destroying his face the second it happened.