Starting to think I don't have social anxiety, I just choose to not socialize

revoltub

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For about 10 years I've struggled with social anxiety.

Don't get me wrong, when I was in college i loved going out, partying, seeing friends, etc.

After I graduated i felt bad on my meds and decided to stop taking them. Since then my mind changed dramatically, and the socializing I used to look forward too now can't stand.

I'm starting to realize that im not "anxious" of social situations, I just don't enjoy them. I don't like being in a bar and having someone only half pay attention to what you are saying. I hate the stupid drama when people get drunk.

Don't get me wrong, I love drinking and getting "lit", but by myself. I hate being around people. I think I'm choosing this, and since ive realized this, I no longer feel ashamed of what I thought was a "mental disorder".
 
congrats, u grew up

Thanks, I do feel that way.

Last girl I dated was younger, and didn't like how I wouldn't go out and party with her.

I explained that I already did all that shit, and i don't feel the need to do it anymore.
 
Same here bro. I used to beat myself up about not enjoying myself in large parties or gatherings. I read a lot about being introverted and became much more comfortable about saying no to those things. I don’t hate being around people and am often, i just need my alone time as well. It’s a balance.
 
Same here. I have to force myself to get out and socialize a bit tho otherwise ill start feeling depressed. Once I do tho I don't notice any of the old anxiety I used to carry. I do miss valium sometimes tho not gonna lie
 
Same here. I have to force myself to get out and socialize a bit tho otherwise ill start feeling depressed. Once I do tho I don't notice any of the old anxiety I used to carry. I do miss valium sometimes tho not gonna lie

Valium is great. Why do you get depressed?

Sometimes I'm afraid of the social stigma of being an introvert. Some people don't understand it and think it is being a "weirdo"
 
For about 10 years I've struggled with social anxiety.

Don't get me wrong, when I was in college i loved going out, partying, seeing friends, etc.

After I graduated i felt bad on my meds and decided to stop taking them. Since then my mind changed dramatically, and the socializing I used to look forward too now can't stand.

I'm starting to realize that im not "anxious" of social situations, I just don't enjoy them. I don't like being in a bar and having someone only half pay attention to what you are saying. I hate the stupid drama when people get drunk.

Don't get me wrong, I love drinking and getting "lit", but by myself. I hate being around people. I think I'm choosing this, and since ive realized this, I no longer feel ashamed of what I thought was a "mental disorder".
You're not that much more weird than the rest of us here, revoltub, so don't sweat it. I'm in the same spot tonight, and having to make peace with people that are empirically bad. Out of the frying pan...into the fire.
 
Socializing is a big problem for me. I'm at a point where I'm pretty comfortable having a conversation with a stranger and I'm not scared of being seen in public. The problem is, as much as I want friends just because it's pathetic that I haven't had any since I was like 13, it also seems friendships would be too much maintenance and I'm too comfortable in the routine of a hermit (Sitting around my house reading, playing video games, shitposting in the Mayberry etc). Not being alone would be a massive step out of the comfort zone.
 
People suck.

Except Sherdog.

Sherdog rocks.

giphy.gif
 
Socializing is a big problem for me. I'm at a point where I'm pretty comfortable having a conversation with a stranger and I'm not scared of being seen in public. The problem is, as much as I want friends just because it's pathetic that I haven't had any since I was like 13, it also seems friendships would be too much maintenance and I'm too comfortable in the routine of a hermit (Sitting around my house reading, playing video games, shitposting in the Mayberry etc). Not being alone would be a massive step out of the comfort zone.

And besides this, I also find most people become kinda boring to be around before too long. Or that many want to take advantage of your kindness, intentional or not.
 
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For most of my life I've been extremely introverted. I've also found the older I get, the more I actually like being alone. I don't enjoy being around a lot of people, or around most people for an extended period of time. If it's not one of my few close friends, I find myself just zoning out and looking forward to being alone again.


So I definitely think it's a mindset that you arrive at organically, when you spend a lot of time alone. Only interactions with girls I like, or job interviews make me nervous anymore. Most of the time I don't give enough of a fuck what other people think to get nervous anymore.
 
I used to be socially isolated, awkward and very anxious.

I went to a few work parties, listened to a few Indians speaking in their own language, got drunk.

Then I identified a pattern, after going out and getting bladdered on £125 worth of cocktails at a nightclub in Holborn, London (paid £60 Tina cab driver as well), with a few work colleagues.

I drank because I didn't find any benefit in socializing, and I needed something to do to kill the time.

I've been with my missus for over four years and realized that I just needed somebody, and sometimes I prefer nobody at all.

The biggest problem that I had when isolated was the idea that I was missing out, an idea reinforced by a family who were worried that I wasn't living.
 
I have a whole big family. Kids, grandkids etc. It's my job to teach them and nurture them and all that, and I do. I have been at my job for 22 years, and have won lots of awards and titles. My job requires constant talking and meshing with people. And I am a rock star at talking to people. For Christs sakes, people come to me with deep personal problems almost everyday because they think I can help. And I do help.

But I am totally an introvert. I always prefer to keep my own company. My favorite thing in the world is fishing, because I am gonna be all alone in the middle of no where for a few hours. Other than those few hours I always have to be on my game.
 
And besides this, I also find most people become kinda boring to be around before too long. Or that many want to take advantage of your kindness, intentional or not.

Word. Ive had people betray me, and especially I see how fake some people are. Not everyone, maybe I was naive, but ive heard people say things about me and think "he literally was hugging my nuts when we talked in person". The snakeishness bothers me.
 
Word. Ive had people betray me, and especially I see how fake some people are. Not everyone, maybe I was naive, but ive heard people say things about me and think "he literally was hugging my nuts when we talked in person". The snakeishness bothers me.
When I do get close to people, they're usually either really disappointing or really boring. Which drives me all the more towards being alone, because that makes me feel like an asshole. These days I find most of the time when I do engage in conversation with someone irl, within 2-3 minutes they say something that seems profoundly stupid to me, and I just sort of get quiet because I can't think of non rude things to say anymore.
 
When I do get close to people, they're usually either really disappointing or really boring. Which drives me all the more towards being alone, because that makes me feel like an asshole. These days I find most of the time when I do engage in conversation with someone irl, within 2-3 minutes they say something that seems profoundly stupid to me, and I just sort of get quiet because I can't think of non rude things to say anymore.

I feel you. I have to bite my tongue a lot. Most of the time others think the same of them, so I don't feel like I'm the asshole whose projecting.

Not to say I'm not an asshole, I can be, but when I am I don't have malicious intent and I do try to empathize with people as long as I feel they'd do the same for me.
 
latest


For most of my life I've been extremely introverted. I've also found the older I get, the more I actually like being alone. I don't enjoy being around a lot of people, or around most people for an extended period of time. If it's not one of my few close friends, I find myself just zoning out and looking forward to being alone again.


So I definitely think it's a mindset that you arrive at organically, when you spend a lot of time alone. Only interactions with girls I like, or job interviews make me nervous anymore. Most of the time I don't give enough of a fuck what other people think to get nervous anymore.

Yeah girls are an issue for me. Not much that I fear them, just lazy. My biggest fear when I don't socialize is missing out on getting laid. When i decide to talk to a girl, I can run game pretty good (for being a solid 7) but its just too much work
 
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