Sparring Partner with a BAD TEMPER Advice

SlicerDM

SlicerDM

Peace is a lie, there is only passion
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How do you guy handle Sparring Partners with a bad temper/frustration?

It was my first time sparring at my new gym, I'm quite novice nothing spectacular. Had a couple of light contact Sport Jiu Jitsu fights. So I'm not a killer on the feet.

I sparred this guy, I was told later he was presumably new and gets frustrated easily.

But here's my problem with that. So this guy doesn't really spar, he just plays patty cake as a lot of these guys told me.

But as I was doing my typical, light, fast technical sparring. He starts to get frustrated to my surprise and says I am going hard. He then proceeds to say "I'm going hard" and suckers me with a huge haymaker. I find this totally unacceptable in any situation. I tell him to chill down and I tell him I'm not going hard whatsoever, another member even had to interfere after he suckered me clean with a haymaker. A fucking haymaker for christ sakes.

I just need a bit of advice, should I not spar with this individual based of these things? I am going to go have a chat with him tomorrow to try and sort the things that happened in the ring. It's a new gym and I don't want to be the bad guy you know.

tl;dr; sparred with some newbie today who doesn't really understand the concept of light technical sparring, he gets frustrated and straight suckers me as we're sending words back and forth to eachother. I need advice, should I avoid him based off this considering it does not further my game and it was totally unacceptable what he did? Should I speak to my coach? Should I speak to him? I refuse to take free haymakers because of this guys temper, I need my braincells for comp.
 
He sucker punched you when you were telling him to cool it, WTF?
Is this behavior normal in your new gym (different gym culture), or is this him specifically?

Usually when signs like this pop up, the coach usually pairs these guys up with fighters to tune him up.

Don't spar with this head case, nothing good is going to come out of it. Both of you aren't learning anything, and it will devolve and end up being a full on fight.

There's no shame in ducking these situations, we have a heavier fellow (250-260lbs), and due to his control issues, and a habit of his when he gasses, he swings for the fences with everything.
A flyweight fighter actually avoids sparring with him. Nowadays, he's learned how to "spar", so its fine with most of us now.
 
You're always going to meet people like this in a gym and in real life. So in that regards it's best to deal with it head on than try to avoid it by not sparring him.

Sparring will always be a hot topic because you might not think you are going to hard but the other guy might feel that you are - so even though you think TS that you didn't hit him hard and it was light/technical - you can't really feel what he felt since he was on the receiving end of it. It may be that you did hit him hard - but it's immature and stupid of him to not tell you that you're going hard on him - sometimes people's egos get the better of them - or it could be the case he did tell you and you didn't really drop the intensity or sting from your punches regardless of whether you felt they were light.

We can't really say because we weren't there. It could be that he's just a bit of a douche and didn't like that you got the better of him, got frustrated and suckered you with a hay-maker. It's hard to tell.

Where he was wrong though was suckering you like that - had he been in our dojo he'd probably have been chucked out or the instructor would have dealt with it.

It depends on what actually happened - my advice is try to speak to him to see what exactly happened from his point of view - be the bigger man and apologise - this is what martial arts is about - taking the higher road & showing compassion. Figure out what happened - if it was on him & he lost his temper - I'd say treat it as though he just made a mistake - and let bygones be bygones.

If it happens again or on numerous occasions than I'd say talk directly to the instructor.

If that fails my advice is tune him up in sparring - as a last resort. Often times some people need harsher treatment because they have over-inflated egos or aren't able to control themselves and will hurt people.

I've only had to ever tune up one guy in sparring - never really hit anyone that hard ever or taken sparring that seriously either and that was only because he had no control & was beating on people and then tried to behave that way with me and the instructor wasn't dealing with the issue or reprimanding him so I unloaded on him. Did it sort out the problem? Not particularly - sometimes it doesn't and just reinforces whatever they are doing to begin with. Sometimes it might though - I think that's worthwhile knowing.

Also if you're newer and he's been there slightly longer - regardless of whatever he's doing you might get reprimanded for it. Some instructors are blind to the shit their students do.

It could also be the gym environment too.
 
If he hasnt only got a bad temper but is a bad or at least worse fighter than you fight back and give him the fight he wants and he probably won't enjoy it for very long. If he is better than you or as good so that you can't just give him some of his own medicine without having a gym war just stop sparring with him
 
Azam said:
You're always going to meet people like this in a gym and in real life. So in that regards it's best to deal with it head on than try to avoid it by not sparring him.

Sparring will always be a hot topic because you might not think you are going to hard but the other guy might feel that you are - so even though you think TS that you didn't hit him hard and it was light/technical - you can't really feel what he felt since he was on the receiving end of it. It may be that you did hit him hard - but it's immature and stupid of him to not tell you that you're going hard on him - sometimes people's egos get the better of them - or it could be the case he did tell you and you didn't really drop the intensity or sting from your punches regardless of whether you felt they were light.

We can't really say because we weren't there. It could be that he's just a bit of a douche and didn't like that you got the better of him, got frustrated and suckered you with a hay-maker. It's hard to tell.

Where he was wrong though was suckering you like that - had he been in our dojo he'd probably have been chucked out or the instructor would have dealt with it.

It depends on what actually happened - my advice is try to speak to him to see what exactly happened from his point of view - be the bigger man and apologise - this is what martial arts is about - taking the higher road & showing compassion. Figure out what happened - if it was on him & he lost his temper - I'd say treat it as though he just made a mistake - and let bygones be bygones.

If it happens again or on numerous occasions than I'd say talk directly to the instructor.

If that fails my advice is tune him up in sparring - as a last resort. Often times some people need harsher treatment because they have over-inflated egos or aren't able to control themselves and will hurt people.

I've only had to ever tune up one guy in sparring - never really hit anyone that hard ever or taken sparring that seriously either and that was only because he had no control & was beating on people and then tried to behave that way with me and the instructor wasn't dealing with the issue or reprimanding him so I unloaded on him. Did it sort out the problem? Not particularly - sometimes it doesn't and just reinforces whatever they are doing to begin with. Sometimes it might though - I think that's worthwhile knowing.

Also if you're newer and he's been there slightly longer - regardless of whatever he's doing you might get reprimanded for it. Some instructors are blind to the shit their students do.

It could also be the gym environment too.
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TLDR.
 
One of 2 things TS:

1 the dude is a douche and you should either use him as training or avoid.

2 you were hitting harder than you think and deserved it.
 
Considering that the coach warned you about his bad attitude you should stop him with body shots. Its best to beat some humility into him because otherwise he'll either get kicked out the gym or start bullying lower ranked students when/if he starts to catch on.
 
SlicerDM said:
How do you guy handle Sparring Partners with a bad temper/frustration?

It was my first time sparring at my new gym, I'm quite novice nothing spectacular. Had a couple of light contact Sport Jiu Jitsu fights. So I'm not a killer on the feet.

I sparred this guy, I was told later he was presumably new and gets frustrated easily.

But here's my problem with that. So this guy doesn't really spar, he just plays patty cake as a lot of these guys told me.

But as I was doing my typical, light, fast technical sparring. He starts to get frustrated to my surprise and says I am going hard. He then proceeds to say "I'm going hard" and suckers me with a huge haymaker. I find this totally unacceptable in any situation. I tell him to chill down and I tell him I'm not going hard whatsoever, another member even had to interfere after he suckered me clean with a haymaker. A fucking haymaker for christ sakes.

I just need a bit of advice, should I not spar with this individual based of these things? I am going to go have a chat with him tomorrow to try and sort the things that happened in the ring. It's a new gym and I don't want to be the bad guy you know.

tl;dr; sparred with some newbie today who doesn't really understand the concept of light technical sparring, he gets frustrated and straight suckers me as we're sending words back and forth to eachother. I need advice, should I avoid him based off this considering it does not further my game and it was totally unacceptable what he did? Should I speak to my coach? Should I speak to him? I refuse to take free haymakers because of this guys temper, I need my braincells for comp.
Click to expand...

I would avoid him, spar with others instead, and if I had no choice or it would be awkward I would go extra light. I don't go to the gym to get annoyed.
 
Soul Rebel 2 said:
Considering that the coach warned you about his bad attitude you should stop him with body shots. Its best to beat some humility into him because otherwise he'll either get kicked out the gym or start bullying lower ranked students when/if he starts to catch on.
Click to expand...
This is the right answer. Beat the bad seed into a good seed or see to it that he gets thrown out of the gym.
 
I always have my hands/guards up even if we're just talking cuz you never know when they might sucker punch you lol.

Next time, either go uber light or if he continues to be a jackass then go hard on him. He signed a waiver. It's fine to hurt him. He can choose to not spar with you. But you don't have an incentive to "go light".

But as common sparring courtesy, I would go as hard as my opponent. If he goes hard, I go hard. If he goes light, I go light. So if he claims you are going hard, you can say "I'm just hitting as hard as you are."
 
Id probably avoid him, or mentally prepare myself for a fight and blast him straight off the bat. Im kind of passive aggressive that way but its been working well for me
 
biscuitsbrah said:
Id probably avoid him, or mentally prepare myself for a fight and blast him straight off the bat. Im kind of passive aggressive that way but its been working well for me
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PRIDE rules sparring
 
Young pups have to be put in their place from time to time, to restore the order of things.

If you want respect make him give it to you, wolf
 
Since he's new, getting hit can trigger his senses. Which might make him think that you are hitting him hard, where in reality your shots just surprised him. Since you're new as well, I wouldn't avoid training with him unless he's too big or there are plenty of other partners for you to spar with.
 
Just avoid him. No use wasting your time with buttholes. Hopefully there's tons of other peeps to spar with that will light you up in a learning way and pass on good hard training ethos for you to help the pups coming up.
Takes some good self control to take unnecessary aggression and not stoop to that level in return.
 
I have only seen 1 newbie with that attitude in my gym. 230-240 lbs of bodybuilder muscle, comes wearing soccer shinguards. We were doing light sparring with leg kicks and how to take smaller hits, so everyone was going super light. This dude wails away on my leg twice. I tell him to chill and he does the same thing again. Next round does the same thing to a girl who had been training couple of months and she actually stopped sparring with him mid round because of his control issue.

Next round one of the senior coaches spars him and starts teeping all his roundhouses away. Just stands there, teeps his kick and teeps him backwards. The fact that the coach was under 150lbs added insult to injury. He never showed up for 2nd class.
 
neomacro said:
I have only seen 1 newbie with that attitude in my gym. 230-240 lbs of bodybuilder muscle, comes wearing soccer shinguards. We were doing light sparring with leg kicks and how to take smaller hits, so everyone was going super light. This dude wails away on my leg twice. I tell him to chill and he does the same thing again. Next round does the same thing to a girl who had been training couple of months and she actually stopped sparring with him mid round because of his control issue.

Next round one of the senior coaches spars him and starts teeping all his roundhouses away. Just stands there, teeps his kick and teeps him backwards. The fact that the coach was under 150lbs added insult to injury. He never showed up for 2nd class.
Click to expand...
i believe none of this.
 
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