SBBC: Diets are for homos

"You plastic steak cooking piece of shit" is one of the better insults I've heard in a while. I would've gone "...son if a bitch" instead, but that's the beauty of art, it's subjective

 

Trying not to be an overeating fatass.

 

Faith in humanity (temporarily) restored.

https://sports.good.is/articles/humboldt-crash-crowdsource

 

I mean is anyone really surprised that @mooninite54 likes his meat the same as his daily tube steak? Black.

 

we have these three rather hot married spouse volunteers in our office now
One normal US white chick, one whiteish arab chick from Tunisia and one ridiculously hot Puerto Rican

cmon son

 

All the women i work save for like... 3 are at least 20 years older than me.

ADD to that that outside of the main boss I am the only man in my office and my two roommates are females...

Ugh.

 

Pics or it didn't happen. C'mon gunth, it's grime time.

 

That’s lots of women man... utilize it. Your roommates have friends right? I met my wife at work but I got her info through a judge I know who’s in her sixties... older women still now younger women as well lmao.

 

You're not living life until a chick takes her dentures out and sucks your dick.

 

that's how it normally is
we have 4 women, all in their 50s, and one 20s Marine wife that is about to have a kid

these 3 young volunteers are a new thing, it's hilarious. Random marines/sailors just congregate at the front desk now 'asking for help'

 

I made the mistake of telling the Tunisian chick I had been there (to Tunis and Carthage) and now she always wants to talk to me
and then the Puerto Rican thinks i'm on expert on PR b/c I knew where Arecibo is (and it's huge observatory, Goldeneye ftw) and I speak intermediate level Spanish

That's a fail on my part, I try to avoid hot married women as much as possible. All 3 stay wearing ridiculously fitting dress pants too, it's bad.

 

Dude... there's a prosecutor that I see in Court a ton when I'm clerking felony shit that is MAYBE 2-3 years older than I am and if she's in dress pants I virtually become useless cause mentally this is me:

 

I left my wallet on my desk and I've known everyone at my job for 8 years. I had a $180 in it and I just checked it... It's gone. I rarely carry cash, so I didn't think about it and I only stepped away for 30 mins.

I could beat the shit out of someone right now. Yeah, it's only $180.00 but still. It just goes to show that you can't trust anyone and that I'm a fucking retard.

 

you're telling me
on bases, gym/workout clothes are not acceptable to wear around unless you're literally in the gym

If a guy is wearing bball shorts, cutoff sleeves T, or a tank they will get told to change...

But when a girl wears yoga pants/leggings around, nobody bats an eye

Perhaps the most positive double standard in history

 

What kind of bozo leaves his wallet on top of his desk (that seems to be in a spot where people go by)?

 

I deserve that. And my desk really isn't out in the open. It just rustles me cause I've also spent a bit time with them outside of work too.

 

Carthage?! What were you doing, fighting in the Punic Wars?

 

Send the entire office on first class trips to Uppercut City

 

If you gonna get fired, earn them papers.