pursuing a girl for a long time

[chrisdiaz]

Meh....it really doesn't have to be like that. Many people are just to indoctrinated with modern culture where all you think about is "me, me, me....what else can I get that is better", but studies upon studies upon studies have continually revealed that when you don't allow your brain to wonder, just appreciate whatever you have, you are infinitely happier. The HAPPIEST group of people in the US are the Amish and they don't believe in divorce and wholly reject materialism. The cultural curators in this modern world had confused the fuck out of people, because confused and fearful people = dollar signs.

People just have to decide if they want to be happy or they want to fit in with all the other sheep. Going against the grain will get you called a weirdo, but atleast you will be happy.

Tell that to natural biology and the fact that I just want to smash every hot chick I see. Its easy to say this but very hard to actually accomplish.

 

[ImNotSurpisedDonks!]

It's pretty cool but you get back down to earth before long.

I think I heard that being "in love" can only last for 6 months, and that includes when the attraction levels are at their highest. Eventually, the oxytocin wears off, just like when you take a drug and it wears off. I've found that this is why it is SO important to have deeper compatibility, and tho Ive not some deeply religious person, I've constantly found those with deeper compatibility, like being both devoutly religious, last much longer and are much more happy.

In the age of hyper choice, me me me and ultra secularism, people are more miserable than ever.

 

[ImNotSurpisedDonks!]

Tell that to natural biology and the fact that I just want to smash every hot chick I see. Its easy to say this but very hard to actually accomplish.

Haha! So true. That's why Muslims put all hot chicks in bee keeper suits, as they know the hottie and titties is the enemy of spiritual attainment. It also makes sense why the actual happiest people in the world are these Tibetan Monks, who are separated from women and just meditate all day

 

[chrisdiaz]

Haha! So true. That's why Muslims put all hot chicks in bee keeper suits, as they know the hottie and titties is the enemy of spiritual attainment. It also makes sense why the actual happiest people in the world are these Tibetan Monks, who are separated from women and just meditate all day

Trust me its something I wish I could accomplish. Deep down its probably the fact that she doesnt have very many interests and has adopted a lot of mine.

While this is cool in theory, I find myself basically talking to her like she was my kid or something. I dont think she truly enjoys half of what we do, she just likes being with me. It makes for a very one sided conversations where Im basically talking AT her instead of WITH her.

 

[Tycho- Taylor's Version]

I think I heard that being "in love" can only last for 6 months, and that includes when the attraction levels are at their highest. Eventually, the oxytocin wears off, just like when you take a drug and it wears off. I've found that this is why it is SO important to have deeper compatibility, and tho Ive not some deeply religious person, I've constantly found those with deeper compatibility, like being both devoutly religious, last much longer and are much more happy.

In the age of hyper choice, me me me and ultra secularism, people are more miserable than ever.

Honestly, putting that previous generalization aside, I've been in deep romantic love for a period of 4+ years so I'm not sure about the wearing off part.

There's definitely a lot to it and my circumstances may have been uniquely privileged at the time.

 

[Jimmy Jazz]

if she was a virgin, sure. but I'm not young anymore.

 

[MoparOrNoCar]

This is semi long but it's kind of a cool story. I've been friends with this girl since we were in 4th grade. Had a huge crush on her after I hit puberty but she moved away after 7th grade. I was definitely the "friend zoned" friend when we were like 12. Like a little bitch.

She moved back after high school and was all the sudden smokin hot. I was still a pussy back then and to make a long story short, she invited me over to her place and we played pool and had a couple drinks. When I went to go to bed on her couch, she told me I could just sleep in her room but she didn't say it in any sort of flirting type manner. More like a "we're friends so it's cool" type of thing. I was nervous as fuck and just laid there next to her contemplating whether or not I should make a move. I would up not doing anything and regretting it for the next 12 years or so.

She wound up getting with a dude and having a couple kids and I wasn't into her like I used to be when I was younger. It was more just a deal where we're friends, she's attractive but I'm not romantically into her at all and I can tell she's not romantically into me either. More of an "I'd do her" but not pursuing it type of deal because I had my own girlfriends at the time, most of whom I thought were more attractive than her anyway.

Fast forward to a few years ago and I'm recently single and so is she and she comes by my place and has some drinks and watches a movie with me. We wind up laying in my bed in the exact same scenario that we were in 12 years ago. Except this time, all I did was put my arm around her neck to cuddle her and she immediately turns over and starts kissing me. We wound up hooking up a few times and then I found a girl that I really wanted to date so we stopped being friends with benefits and just went back to being friends.

It was just kind of cool to be able to do that after making what I called the biggest blunder of my "dating" career by missing out that first time at her house. I wound up asking her about that and she said she didn't invite me to her bed to get laid but she said she was open to it at the time but kind of glad that I didn't because we were both a lot younger and obviously aren't right for each other so it's best that it happened when we got a bit older and could do it with no strings attached and zero drama.

 

[ImNotSurpisedDonks!]

Honestly, putting that previous generalization aside, I've been in deep romantic love for a period of 4+ years so I'm not sure about the wearing off part.

There's definitely a lot to it and my circumstances may have been uniquely privileged at the time.

I totally agree, and with my comment previous to the one I just had, I was disputing the fact that the 'seven year itch' and relationships growing bland was normal, as evidenced thru the studies done on the Amish.

I've found that when you work on communication and really put in effort, relationships can get so much better. The sex can get better, the attraction can get better, the trust, comfort and pretty much everything can get better, but it is frame of mind. A lot in our culture tells you marriage gets worse with age but that is because people don't know how to communicate, sacrifice, abstain from immediate pleasures and love: heck, it seems like most people now come from divorced families or dysfunctional ones. The happy couple is the rarity now a days, pretty much an extinct species it seems. And strangely for me, the happiest couple I know is an arranged marriage that is now going on 55 years and the then kids met on their wedding day - talk about how this culture of 'me, me, me....I need, I want as many options as possible' is actually very bad for you and the enemy of your true happiness. Appreciating what you have, no matter how small, is the secret of life and relationships (don't let modern consumers find that secret out, as all businesses will go belly up and people will stop buying shirt and being so damn confused).

 

[Mr Mojo Lane]