Premier League Thread 2017/18 v32: Bunch Of Lazy Kernts In Dis Fred Edition.

Are You A Lazy Kernt?

  • Yes, now punish me at once with your body.

    Votes: 8 38.1%

  • No, now feed me grapes and let me lick your fingers.

    Votes: 6 28.6%

  • Why are these options so kinky?

    Votes: 11 52.4%

  • #HalaWales. #TogetherStronger.

    Votes: 8 38.1%
  • Total voters
    21
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@frenzy dat moment spotify put a 1975 song in your release radar and you go :eek: :eek: :eek:

then you realise it's just a really old song that they've now for some reason released as a single, that you've heard before but forgot all about lol



CHOON doe

<5>
 
@Dr J

mwsZOC5.png
 
lel

new starter paperwork for my job asks 'do you have any mental illnesses' and 'how many units of alcohol do you consume a week'

tenor.gif
 
frenzy said:
lel

new starter paperwork for my job asks 'do you have any mental illnesses' and 'how many units of alcohol do you consume a week'

tenor.gif
Click to expand...

Lmao

No way I'm gonna say yes to that if it's just a normal job. Other places will ask for a GPs report to clear you though lol
 
Dr J said:
Are nephrologists known for being super smart in England?

The psychiatrist one is probably the most accurate generalization of American physicians.
Click to expand...

No lol

They're called kidney doctors here , they don't get much respeck compared to other specialties
 
I did one of these for the OT and @Dr J asked me to make one for the Prem thread, so here it is.





@Tules, a former captain of the England national football team, who was banned from football for life for fixing a match between England and Germany (the England Football Team's greatest European rivals),and captained by @Deffid, is sentenced to three years in Longmarsh prison for assaulting two police officers after a long drinking session and driving recklessly to a local bar.

Once inside, he is immediately beaten up by the prison guards (played by @Rawex and LilMountain) for misbehaving, and is subsequently approached by the prison governor (played by @xtramob). The governor offers Tules a job as coach of the prison wardens' football team; not wanting to make enemies with the other prisoners, Tules declines, and instead offers to train a team consisting of other inmates, who will take on the wardens in a practice match. Tules then recruits the resident contraband dealer, @ Dr J, as his right-hand man, and receives advice from an elderly convict, @blokeybloke, who teaches Tules prison lore and warns Tules to avoid making mistakes by revealing he was in prison for killing an enemy as well as the enemy's wife and child with a grenade.

Tules wins the respect of the other inmates after he attacks an officer, Mr. @Concrete, who is severely beating Dr J, and is then occupied with the task of training up his team of cons, including a maximum-security con named @UltimateVictory. Meanwhile, the governor of the prison gets himself into trouble with " @Carl Drogo the bookie," an unlicensed bookie who was recommended to him by @Nowhere Fast, the resident prison boss, and decides to try to make back the money he owes by betting on the prison guards' team. Blokey is killed when @frenzy, an unstable inmate and bomb expert, plants a bomb in Tule's locker at the encouragement of Mr. Concrete. Frenzy is subsequently sent to another facility, but not to the minimum-security hospital he was promised – he is sent to an alternate facility where Concrete reveals he will be heavily sedated all the time.

The match commences shortly after Blokey's death. At half time, the inmates' team, is winning 1–0, and things are going well until the governor, fearing what will happen if he loses a second bet, attempts to blackmail Tules into throwing the match. At first he puts his own interests before that of the team's, deliberately playing badly but as the final moments of the game tick down, he redeems himself, bravely using a square-ball to fellow inmate @Good Ole Stannis's BBQ to win the game for the cons. Afterward, the Captain of the Guards, Mr. @EOW, refuses to co-operate with the governor's attempts to get revenge on Tules instead congratulating him on the match. The governor's vehicle explodes, and Nowhere Fast informs him that he, and Drogo the Bookie, will retaliate if he tries anything. Tules and Dr J walk triumphantly across the pitch.
 
Please let club football begin soon <1>
 
Almighty Angus said:
I did one of these for the OT and @Dr J asked me to make one for the Prem thread, so here it is.





@Tules, a former captain of the England national football team, who was banned from football for life for fixing a match between England and Germany (the England Football Team's greatest European rivals),and captained by @Deffid, is sentenced to three years in Longmarsh prison for assaulting two police officers after a long drinking session and driving recklessly to a local bar.

Once inside, he is immediately beaten up by the prison guards (played by @Rawex and LilMountain) for misbehaving, and is subsequently approached by the prison governor (played by @xtramob). The governor offers Tules a job as coach of the prison wardens' football team; not wanting to make enemies with the other prisoners, Tules declines, and instead offers to train a team consisting of other inmates, who will take on the wardens in a practice match. Tules then recruits the resident contraband dealer, @ Dr J, as his right-hand man, and receives advice from an elderly convict, @blokeybloke, who teaches Tules prison lore and warns Tules to avoid making mistakes by revealing he was in prison for killing an enemy as well as the enemy's wife and child with a grenade.

Tules wins the respect of the other inmates after he attacks an officer, Mr. @Concrete, who is severely beating Dr J, and is then occupied with the task of training up his team of cons, including a maximum-security con named @UltimateVictory. Meanwhile, the governor of the prison gets himself into trouble with " @Carl Drogo the bookie," an unlicensed bookie who was recommended to him by @Nowhere Fast, the resident prison boss, and decides to try to make back the money he owes by betting on the prison guards' team. Blokey is killed when @frenzy, an unstable inmate and bomb expert, plants a bomb in Tule's locker at the encouragement of Mr. Concrete. Frenzy is subsequently sent to another facility, but not to the minimum-security hospital he was promised – he is sent to an alternate facility where Concrete reveals he will be heavily sedated all the time.

The match commences shortly after Blokey's death. At half time, the inmates' team, is winning 1–0, and things are going well until the governor, fearing what will happen if he loses a second bet, attempts to blackmail Tules into throwing the match. At first he puts his own interests before that of the team's, deliberately playing badly but as the final moments of the game tick down, he redeems himself, bravely using a square-ball to fellow inmate @Good Ole Stannis's BBQ to win the game for the cons. Afterward, the Captain of the Guards, Mr. @EOW, refuses to co-operate with the governor's attempts to get revenge on Tules instead congratulating him on the match. The governor's vehicle explodes, and Nowhere Fast informs him that he, and Drogo the Bookie, will retaliate if he tries anything. Tules and Dr J walk triumphantly across the pitch.
Click to expand...
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1300853/
 
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