@LEWIS540 ,
@Fugazy
Poker story for u shit heads, since u seem like the only ones who would appreciate it...
So I'm playing a $120 at the Venetian earlier this year. My wife and I go about every 6 weeks, cuz I used to play for a living online, and back then we would go every couple weeks. Used to get the poker rate at the Aria, but then we got married there, so now it's basically free. Also, we live in Southern California, she knows what she's doing, and I'm still a winning player. Used to play 6-8 tables of $3-$6 online, 10+ hours a day. Played up to the $2,500 tourneys in the series. Gonna play a couple events this year, after a couple years off. Wife plays the 1k Ladies Event. But I digress.
So we get down to the final table of 9, remaining prize pool is about 9k. It's about 11 pm, tourney started at 5. Typical for these tourneys, everyone has 10-40 BBs, so I lightheartedly suggest a chop. I assumed somebody would strongly object, and at the very least a couple people would say "I came to play". This is always fun cuz there's 1 or 2 guys that inevitably act like they have a massive skill edge, and they'll never let all these fish off the hook by letting them chop. They have no idea how clueless they look when they assume ANYONE has a huge edge, let alone them, with 20 BB stacks in a structure with 15 minute levels and blinds doubling every level at that point.
So I suggest the chop 9 handed, everybody can walk with a thousand bucks and go enjoy their night. To my surprise, everyone sort of nods in agreement. Except one old motherfucker. He says something to the young guy next to him, clearly about the chop, and clearly against it, but doesn't address me. I'm in Seat 3, he's in 7, he says something to 8. So i don't really hear him, but I can assume it's like, "look at this idiot trying to con us. I'm not going for it. No chop." And I guess the dealer and the players on that side heard the guy, and it was clear we weren't chopping, so we start the next hand.
2 people get knocked out. Down to 7. So I suggest chop again. This time, the old guy says to me "NO! THATS RIDICULOUS! Why would we chop with 7 players? So i can win 1200 bucks? I didn't come to win 1200 bucks. Thats stupid". I say something like "well u can take over a thousand bucks for ur time, and we don't all have to sit here and flip coins for hundreds of dollars until 2am." He says "NO! NO CHOP! JUST LEAVE IT ALONE,UR NOT GONNA SUCKER ANYBODY!"
Now the dealer calls time, calls the floor over, and basically sides with the guy. Says something like "Seat 7 does not want to chop and we can't move on. He has said he doesn't want to chop, but now we're talking about chopping again. I can't deal right now." So I say "Ok, relax. It's not a big deal. I was just suggesting a chop, which I'm entitled to do at any time." And the dealer said something about me harassing the other guy to the floor. At this point, I was pretty shocked cuz I was being jovial, and me and the guy hadn't really addressed each other. He had just complained about me to other people. But theres cranky old guys like that at every table. And I thought that was obvious to everyone. But the dealer was telling it to the floor like I was really harassing the guy. So I got serious, and said to the floor "I broached the idea of a chop at 9 players, we did not agree, 2 players have since been eliminated, the circumstances have changed significantly enough to warrant a new discussion of a different chop". And the floor agrees with me, and says that is completely reasonable.
As the floor is talking I'm just staring at the dealer. And when he stops i say "You need anything else explained?". Asshole comment, I know. But I'm always more than nice, so fuck that guy. Anyway, floor asks if there is interest in a chop, old guy strongly objects. No surprise. So we proceed. At this point everyone has 5-30 BBs, and nobody is terrible, so there's practically zero skill left in the game. One more gets KO'd. 6 left. So naturally.........I suggest a chop. These things are fluid, you know. lol
So this time the old guy gets even madder, says I'm harassing him. Tells the floor to do something about it to protect him. I say "oh now I'm bullying u? is that next? ur being bullied?" He says "YA! YOU ARE A BULLY! AND YOU ARE BULLYING ME!! NOW LEAVE ME ALONE. I WON'T TAKE IT ANYMORE! At this point there's actually a vegas shooter type vibe from the guy, like he will shoot up the place to solve all his problems. My wife is behind me the whole time and legit worried about this maniac. So again this dealer sides with the guy and acts like he is being harrassed. Nobody else at the table is acting that way btw. I should say in my defense. It's just the old guy and the dealer. So I joke about chopping at 6 players, but I know it's not happening. Even though at this point other people are finally saying they want to chop. But the old guy is acting like "hey, we're not gonna let this guy con us right?" And everyone is just sort of quietly trying to convince him, but nobody wants him to turn what he has towards me onto them.
So we start 6-handed. I get K9 on the button, folded around. Old guy's BB. I shove. He just stares at me, for probably 15-20 seconds. I'm staring back. Eventually I say something like "this is your chance......all the glory.....champion of the world............ but u have to call some time tonight." And he just goes "
I CALLLL" all slow and dramatic. Slams a stack into the middle, flips over AJ. Lol im dead. Naturally.
Brick, Brick, Brick, Brick, King WOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!
I let out a proper Rick Flare in the mostly empty Venetian Poker Room. Acted like a complete asshole. Have never celebrated a hand at a live table outside that. But I acted like I just won the Main Event. "Did u see that? Can u believe that card came? O my god, it must be my day! You just gotta believe people! etc etc"
I only carry on for 10 or 15 seconds though. My wife is behind doing the shit where she's whispering my name like stop u idiot. Whatever. Now at this point one guy has about 40 BBs and the rest of us have 15-25. But everyone is still all-in by the turn with anything decent. So I finish pulling all the chips into a pile in front of me and look up at the table.......... "So u guys wanna chop?"....
.....
.......
.........
The old guy stands up out of his chair, says "I'M NOT GONNA BE HARASSED LIKE THIS ANY MORE. I'M DONE!!!" and shoves all of his remaining chips into the middle of the table, where about half of them go all the way into the pile in front of me. He storms off and acts like he's leaving, presumably to get a rifle. But instead he stands in the corner sulking, watches us blind him out, then comes back and collects 6th place money from the floor.
The rest of us then chopped 5 ways, and lived happily ever after.