NASA Calls Bullshit on Gwyneth Paltrow’s $120 "Bio-Frequency Healing" Stickers

[BKMMAFAN]

Will they protect me from vaccines?

 

[jamel]

This is how rappers go broke.

Bad business venture after bad business venture.


She needs to go on Shark Tank.

 

[Lead]

But she put them on naked models. It must work

 

[OverCoronavirus Pressure]

But she put them on naked models. It must work

Did you know that wearing a bracelet with some copper in it will maximize your wellness-factor as it fills your Q-zone with positivity?

 

[Jkillah]

On one level I really hate this kind of ridiculous mystical healing new age bullshit. That being said, I kind of admire the audacity of this kind of venture, and her ability to dupe new age people out of money.

 

[harajuku dickgirls]

i have this rock that keeps goblins away

i set it on my desk one morning and bam, no goblins in my house

 

[ripskater]

NASA Calls Bullshit on Goop's $120 'Bio-Frequency Healing' Sticker Packs

There’s no shortage of things to be mad about in late capitalism. Pretty high on the list, though, is the Eat, Pray, Love brand of pseudoscience promoted by Gwyneth Paltrow’s Goop. Somehow, Goop—which previously encouraged women to shove eggs up their vaginas—has out-Gooped itself: the brand is now promoting stickers called “Body Vibes.” The product, which I remind you, is literally a sticker, uses “NASA space suit material” to “rebalance the energy frequency in our bodies,” whatever the actual fuck that means.

“Human bodies operate at an ideal energetic frequency, but everyday stresses and anxiety can throw off our internal balance, depleting our energy reserves and weakening our immune systems,” Goop says on its website. “Body Vibes stickers (made with the same conductive carbon material NASA uses to line space suits so they can monitor an astronaut’s vitals during wear) come pre-programmed to an ideal frequency, allowing them to target imbalances.”

Yes, these sentences sound like what you’d expect if you threw Enya lyrics in a blender. But what’s somehow worse is that Body Vibes is trying to invoke our beloved space agency to bolster its legitimacy. Obviously, we had to go to the pros.

A representative from NASA’s spacewalk office told Gizmodo that they “do not have any conductive carbon material lining the spacesuits.” Spacesuits are actually made of synthetic polymers, spandex, and other materials that serve a purpose beyond making their wearer look like a resident of Nightmare Coachella.

Gizmodo has asked Body Vibes to provide us with the peer-reviewed research that supports their claim that their “astronaut” stickers have any impact on the human body. We’ve also asked Body Vibes and Goop for theirresponse to NASA’s assertion that they definitely do not use a “carbonate material” to line their spacesuits. So far, no luck on either front.

It gets worse. The stickers—which run as high as $120 for a pack of 24—promise to assuage various ailments, including anxiety and pain, using something called “Bio Energy Synthesis Technology.” This is not a scientific concept, but rather an invention of AlphaBioCentrix, a Nevada-based biotech company that sells “Quantum Energy Bracelets” and “Health Pendants.” AlphaBioCentrix’s founder, Richard Eaton, was apparently inspired to help create Body Vibes after meeting some “engineers” in a dark alleyway several years ago. Or maybe at Gwyneth’s pied-à-terre in the Hamptons. Who can say.

“Without going into a long explanation about the research and development of this technology, it comes down to this; I found a way to tap into the human body’s bio-frequency, which the body is receptive to outside energy signatures,” Eaton told Gizmodo. He added that, conveniently, “Most of the research that has been collected is confidential and is held as company private information.”

Mark Shelhamer, former chief scientist at NASA’s human research division, wasn’t wooed by Body Vibes or its secret research.

“Wow,” he told Gizmodo. “What a load of BS this is.”

Shelhamer reiterated that space suits are not lined with carbon material, and that even if they were, it would be for adding strength to the suit—not for monitoring vital signs.

“Not only is the whole premise like snake oil, the logic doesn’t even hold up,” he said. “If they promote healing, why do they leave marks on the skin when they are removed?”

Unless they are operated by tiny wizards, who have been captured for the sole purpose of promoting Paltrow’s wellness empire, Body Vibes have literally no scientific basis. If you want to wear a sticker to feel good about yourself, that’s fine—just don’t act like it’s fucking penicillin.

http://gizmodo.com/nasa-calls-bullshit-on-goops-120-bio-frequency-healing-1796309360

 

[AGGAMEMNON66]

This changes most of my political views. Thanks for bringing all of my attention to this. If you have the time, I also have a desperate need to learn about the pros and cons of Mila Kunis' views on copper bracelets.

lol

 

[OverCoronavirus Pressure]

On one level I really hate this kind of ridiculous mystical healing new age bullshit. That being said, I kind of admire the audacity of this kind of venture, and her ability to dupe new age people out of money.

I do as well to a degree.
I know I could do something similar, and use people's fears and disinterest in finding out facts against them, to rid their wallets of pesky extra money they'll just waste on something else.

I just have too much integrity and want to be able to sleep at night.

 

[MMAAAM]

Fuck Gwyneth.
She's a moron of the highest order.

 

[Sycho Sid]

Gwyneth Platrow is full of shit?

 

[S Class]

Wow, a fad worse than those lame fidget spinners that people are pushing

 

[Cuauhtemoc]

Wow, so this is the mystical dumb bitch version of the mystical dumbass jock product that Marc Cuban used to rant against (and I loved him for it). Oh, check it out, Lance slings them:
http://www.livestrong.com/article/97548-benefits-magnetic-bracelets/

Everybody in my BJJ class except me and the instructor got one of these. They did all kind of "tests" with them, like trying to maintain balance while wearing that stuff vs not wearing. I admit I participated on these trials. And it made no difference but the placebo effect was strong.
It's also popular in Syria

That guy is a general in the Assad's army, probably one of their best, he has been holding out against ISIS for years in Deir Er Zor(unlike what fake news tells you, they fight against ISIS too), thanks to his magnetic bracelet.

 

[OverCoronavirus Pressure]

Everybody in my BJJ class except me and the instructor got one of these. They did all kind of "tests" with them, like trying to maintain balance while wearing that stuff vs not wearing. I admit I participated on these trials. And it made no difference but the placebo effect was strong.
It's also popular in Syria

That guy is a general in the Assad's army, probably one of their best, he has been holding out against ISIS for years in Deir Er Zor(unlike what fake news tells you, they fight against ISIS too), thanks to his magnetic bracelet.

I love talking to people about what their magnetic bracelets affect.
"Well there's iron in our blood and..."
"Nonferrous."
"...What?"
"Means, doesn't react to magnetic fields".
"So how does it work, then??"
"It doesn't."
*both together*
"YES IT DOES!"

*big shit eating grin*

 

[BruceLeeOnTRT]

Everybody in my BJJ class except me and the instructor got one of these. They did all kind of "tests" with them, like trying to maintain balance while wearing that stuff vs not wearing. I admit I participated on these trials. And it made no difference but the placebo effect was strong.
It's also popular in Syria

That guy is a general in the Assad's army, probably one of their best, he has been holding out against ISIS for years in Deir Er Zor(unlike what fake news tells you, they fight against ISIS too), thanks to his magnetic bracelet.

IMO, the best feature of those bracelets is that they allow you to steal from Christmas charities in a more discreet manner.

 

[loyalyolayal]

Nasa is diversifying its income stream. Those snitches are dead.

 

[Devout Pessimist]

I think Paltrow just pays Goop money and has no idea what products they put on the market.

 

[GSP_37]

A rich Hollywood star is trying to cheat ordinary people out of their hard earned money with kooky stickers?

 

[MicroBrew]

NASA = Fake News

 

[mcveteran81]

She seems like a the kind of elitist snob who needs to be hate fucked with one foot resting firmly on her face.

Lmao! Mopping up the water I spewed across the kitchen.