Hey guys, I've had a bit of a tough week and really wanted some advice from you guys as I feel you're the only ones who will understand lol. I really don't mean to come across whiny, and those who follow this log will know that is not really my style. I just really need some advice, as I feel I'm losing perspective on this. This is not going to be well-written, as it's just a collection of my incoherent thoughts on the matter, hopefully some of you can make sense of it.
Basically, I got sick for 3 days after christmas with a nasty virus and a high temperature, I didn't train for this time and then didn't feel like coming back to training afterwards, but I did anyway. And now that it's my 1 year logiversary tomorrow, I guess it's a good time for a summary. In the last year of training, I have followed 5-3-1 for strength training the entire time (completing 14 cycles), I have missed 3 planned work-outs, I have missed less than 10 meals, eating the same exact thing everyday (whenever I had to go somewhere I would pack meals). I have drank alcohol once. I have had less than 8 hours of sleep less than 10 times, and in most of those times I have caught up the next day.I have done extensive research in order to realize the best way to reach my goals. I have made detailed plans based on this research and stuck to them to a T. I have pretty much achieved the fitness and strength/sport-specific goals I wanted, and I am much further along than I planned to be at this point. And yet with all this I am not really happy often, I realized some time during this year that I didn't want to be a professional fighter (to just fight for a living), and many times I feel chained by this discipline, and I often don't know if I'm resisting the temptation to skip training and watch series, or to go out and drink, or if I'm just domesticated by routine. I think of vacations/trips but immediately think of how much training I'd miss and how far behind it'd set me. If I skip training to do something else, either I don't enjoy that other thing because I'm feeling guilty, or I enjoy it but feel guilty afterwards. I'm not sure if I should just try to be more balanced, and not put so much emphasis on training, but I find it hard to do something half-assed, as I feel like either I do it to the best of my ability or I don't at all. Bear in mind I'm pretty organized with training and do manage to fit in hanging out a fair bit with friends/study/chill on the internet, but it just doesn't seem the same when it has to be fit in in between a pre-set schedule, nothing is spontaneous or spur of the moment.
I don't really know what else to add, but I'll definitely think of more stuff and will edit when I do. Just wondering if any of you guys, specifically you guys who do something competetively or just take training seriously would comment something, even if it's I've never felt like that before.
I might just be a whiny bitch on my period, and maybe I'll come back a year from now and laugh at this like I did that other terrible post I made, but right now I feel like the best thing would be to take some time off and come back slower and less rigidly.
