MMA hipsters are a strange bunch

[Mondo Freaks]

TS wears Fedoras

 

[L.T.]

Only MMA hipsters like Damian Maia

Or people who appreciate jiu-jitsu and the ability to win fights without taking a single punch from trained killers. He is a true martial artist inside and outside of the cage. It's "Demian" by the way, but you're one of those guys who is "grateful to be alive during the Conor era" so I wouldn't expect you to understand his appeal for some.

 

[CerebralKnievel]

I know pink flyod is super mainstream, but I had to use examples that everyonr would know since the crux of thr analogy is that justin beiber sucks and pink flyod is awesome.

Pink Floyd is indeed awesome, and if you think otherwise I'll fight you right now, IRL.

 

[mudrubble]

Why is it that MMA hipsters are so different than other types of hipsters?
Usually hipsters like to be super elitist about whatever they are into any only like the very best and/or obscure. But not MMA hipsters. Technique or fun be damn they just love FIGHTING. An mma hipster will tell you that you don't actually love it if you don't enjoy watching two girls with .500 records stand in front of each other yelling ISH and flailing their arms for 25 minutes.

That would be like a music snob acting superior abiut listening to Justin Beiber yelling at people to "go listen to Pink Floyd you fucking casual, you don't know anything about music"

Very strange group

So I never knew why they called them hipsters. They sure don’t seem hip to me. When I’ve thrown back 10-12 cups I actually find that they start to resemble roadkill. Can’t lie, everything looks a little like roadkill by the 13th cup. And that’s why everything gets crushed before the 14th. Especially MMA hipsters.


I’m down at the local watering hole, minding my own nevermind when I see him. The guy I hate. I don’t know him personally. But I hate him personally. Man bun. That alone is like a suicide call and I’m guessing ol’ Johnny Walker here wants me to play the role of Dr. Kevorkian. At this point in my night I’m game for anything. I’ve already hit on everything walking with a pussy in this place and a couple I’m not sure can still walk and it’s all no-gos. So what’s Mr. Man bun saying? Actually, who gives a fuck? Might be you but it’s not me. I make my way over to him and ask him what his deal is. He tries to turn it around on me and get smart: “Hey man, we’re just here to enjoy ourselves and have a few drinks before the fights tonight – not looking for any trouble…. You like MMA?”


I let him know he’s late. The fights already started. And he’s the main event. Yeah I like MMA. Want to see? Ok this is called a jab, you good for nothing son of a bitch! He’s young and not as deep in his cups as I am so he manages to half slip it. A little head movement and a lot of hair gel go a long way. Hipsters. This greasegait mutherfucker is gonna get it on the rebound though. Why? He slips to the outside well enough but then he puts his hand up! He puts them up and repeats he doesn’t want trouble! I can’t believe the nerve! I’m throwing shots at him and he has the nerve to try to engage me in a conversation about his fucking wants?? He’s definitely looking to get hit. Fine, I’ll oblige you, cocksucker...


I spit in his face. No warning. No hawk and spit. Just spit. He’s already primed to slip my next blow so he takes the bait and slips to the outside AGAIN! Amateur. Ever heard of a lead hook, mutherfucker? Yeah, well you just ran into one so say hello, bitch. Before he can even process what I’m saying, the uppercut has him studying the ceiling tiles… and just for bragging rights I touch him with the jab once and pump it two more times out there, before unplugging him with the power right. Actually it was a bit of an overhand. Probably because I’m drinking.


I’m trying to think of something witty to say but I don’t think wit is in my DNA any longer. Now all I can hear is the rage. The hate. It’s building. Yeah, I’m not done. No, not by a fucking longshot. I grab a random cup off the bar (well out of the hand of a loser at the bar anyway) and pour it over Manbun’s head and slap him a couple times to wake him up. I tell him that that he must not have heard the bell sound but it’s round two. I call him motherfuker again. I spit on him again. I hit him again. I finally have a witty thought and I gasp it out in between panting after this high intensity interval training: “I know why they call you manbun – because you like men’s buns…” but I notice he looks genuinely confused by my statement. I think I detect a smirk. This half conscious piece of shit thinks I’m not witty and he’s laughing at me! He thinks he’s smarter than me! Fuck THIS! I raise my right hand slowly, squeeze it into a fist and cock it back like a .38 special.


I don’t know who kicked me in the nuts. I don’t ask these kinds of questions in a scrap. What happens happens. I try to move but I feel frozen. Wet on my head. Fluid, running down my neck, back and chest. Manbun’s friends finally got the balls up to swing a bottle I guess. I’m woozy. I’m getting shook around. No, I’m on the floor getting stomped is what’s happening. How fucking ironic. My face hurts. Just like last Friday night. Different toilet same shit for real I guess….


Anyway, I don’t use the right side of my face and body the same but it’s still good enough to type at you mutherfuckers.


So, basically, TS, I agree with you fully. Fuck MMA hipsters. Bunch of fucking douche bags who jump a guy when he’s down and stomp on a downed opponent. I thought soccer kicks were illegal….. but these hipster mutherfuckers don’t play by rules. Fuck ‘em and their fucking women’s MMA….

 

[LikeItIs]

Never understood it myself.

Strange bunch indeed.

 

[storeybuckle]

Why is it that MMA hipsters are so different than other types of hipsters?
Usually hipsters like to be super elitist about whatever they are into any only like the very best and/or obscure. But not MMA hipsters. Technique or fun be damn they just love FIGHTING. An mma hipster will tell you that you don't actually love it if you don't enjoy watching two girls with .500 records stand in front of each other yelling ISH and flailing their arms for 25 minutes.

That would be like a music snob acting superior abiut listening to Justin Beiber yelling at people to "go listen to Pink Floyd you fucking casual, you don't know anything about music"

Very strange group

Same sh*t different pile

 

[The Witcher]

Or people who appreciate jiu-jitsu and the ability to win fights without taking a single punch from trained killers. He is a true martial artist inside and outside of the cage. It's "Demian" by the way, but you're one of those guys who is "grateful to be alive during the Conor era" so I wouldn't expect you to understand his appeal for some.

Lord T you bite so easily.